The reality of being overly goodlooking

[Lex]

...
Honestly, can any of the over the top good looking people here on LPSG chime in on this to enlighten us on what your experience has been on this topic?

See, Earlogjam, I consider you to be an "over the top good looking guy." What do you think?

I have a bud who is stunning (to me, at least): 5'10, 250, rugged, and gorgeous. He is also a total sweetheart: down to earth, approachable, nice. He travels for work all the time. When he goes to bars, he says that the only people who approach him are drunk or drugged out of their minds. When he won't talk to him, it falsely reinforces the misperception that good looking guys are standoffish. "When all I want is a nice guy to talk to me," he said.

FWIW (Although I in no way consider myself to be in Earl's category), I have always tied to be nice and friendly to anyone who takes time to speak, nod or approach me (and my hubby). I have been snubbed enough to know that a little niceness goes a long way.

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

Women are always falling for my best friend. It seems to happen almost daily. He's had some men fall for him too. It has been a strain on his relationship with his wife. He isn't stand-offish, though. In fact, he's very friendly (that's part of his charm). He's not lonely at all. I envied him for a long time.

I remember a girl, Sarah, in High School who was incredibly beautiful. She was a total fag hag. I think I know why: it was safe for her--the girls were jealous and the straight boys wanted to fuck her. I don't think that it was easy for her. She came across as a snob because she avoided most people.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

So being a very ordinary looking chap, would I prefer to be lonely and stunning or lonely and repulsive ?

Well even the ravages of time can't take away essential beauty, good looking young people often usually into good looking older people whereas ugly just gets even uglier as you get older. I think I'd take being a lonely handsome old man over being an lonely ugly old man any day.

I've worked with a lot of extremely good looking men in particular and consequently counted many amoung my friends, first as a model scout for the big London agency my mum worked for and then as an artist who paints handsome men for a living (yeah I know but someone's got to do it) and yeah some of them bitch about never being able to meet people who are in to them for who they are, most of these kind had little enough personality anyway, the ones with loads of personality and confidence seemed to love the way being hot opened doors for them and allowed them the opportunity to show people who they really were when an ugly guy wouldn't even have got them a chance to say hello.

The more confident and interesting super good looking guys I've met relished the fact that being good looking allowed them opportunities that otherwise might not have been available to them. I don't recall these kinds of guys ever complaining it was difficult to meet guys or girls with whom they could have satisfying relationships, on the contrary, they would normally complain that it was too difficult to choose between all the gorgeous and fascinating people who wanted to get with them.

 

[B_theOtherJJ]

Attractiveness is subjective, personal and open for interpretation. What one person finds as attractive, another may not. Save your judgements. Search with your heart, not wth your eyes.

 

[mitchymo]

Yeah, i agree with JJ.

Sometimes i look in the mirror and the face i see does not match how i feel inside. I think i'm good-looking (not attractive tho) and have felt that the outside appearance can be a curse. People have assumed i pick up guys real easily and are shocked when i tell them its hard to do. A friend suggested this was largely down to the fact that i am introvert and unopen in character stopping me approaching others while some others think that perhaps i'm out of their league so don't approach me.

YEA, whine whine whine but still...

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

Attractiveness is subjective, personal and open for interpretation. What one person finds as attractive, another may not. Save your judgements. Search with your heart, not wth your eyes.

Being attractive and being good looking aren't necessarily the same thing, I think that's almost part of the OP. Being very good looking can make some people seem unattractive to some people.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Attractiveness is subjective, personal and open for interpretation. What one person finds as attractive, another may not. Save your judgements. Search with your heart, not wth your eyes.

Your final sentence is the keeper, jj, but the other stuff is questionable.
Ultimately you are correct, since even the person whose beauty is most agreed upon will not be attractive to some people.
That said, many forms of physical beauty seem of rather universal appeal.
When researchers have shown photographs to people one on one, they have found great agreement among their respondents.
Some research has even shown that infants agree on which faces are most attractive.
And you must have known of many people growing up whom everyone knew was attractive; this is especially true in high school, imo.

Being attractive and being good looking aren't necessarily the same thing, I think that's almost part of the OP. Being very good looking can make some people seem unattractive to some people.

People with limited self esteem and many stereotypes about beauty and beautiful people in their heads.

 

[vince]

I have no idea what he looks like, but the poster directly above me has one of the most beautiful minds I've ever met.

 

[798686]

I have no idea what he looks like, but the poster directly above me has one of the most beautiful minds I've ever met.

I'd agree. :smile:

As far as good-looking people are concerned, I just treat them the same way I do anybody else. If they're stuck up about it, then they're probably not worth talking to.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

I have no idea what he looks like, but the poster directly above me has one of the most beautiful minds I've ever met.

I'd agree. :smile:

Wow.
I don't know who I was channeling, but he must be good.
I'll pass your good words on.:smokin:

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

I have no idea what he looks like, but the poster directly above me has one of the most beautiful minds I've ever met.

Robert De Niro, but a bit younger.

 

[798686]

Robert De Niro, but a bit younger.

Justin Timberlake, but a bit older.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Robert De Niro, but a bit younger.

Haha.
I know you think that, and I was gonna mention it ...
(Could be worse.)

Justin Timberlake, but a bit older.

Yeah, I'm past 30 now.
Now, it's just a long slow slide ....

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

Yeah, I'm past 30 now.
Now, it's just a long slow slide ....

OMG please don't say that Rubi :frown1:

 

[nudeyorker]

OMG please don't say that Rubi :frown1:

Oh relax, didn't anyone tell you 50 is the new 30? Thirty is the new... you are barely legal here and have nothing to worry about.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

I like the way that one resolved.
Verrrry close call ....

 

[jeff black]

Robert De Niro, but a bit younger.

With extra ear hair.:tongue:

 

[2322]

Robert De Niro, but a bit younger.

And just as intense. When Rubi talks, people shut-up and listen.

 

[B_cigarbabe]

With extra ear hair.:tongue:

With extra ear and nose hair hanging out calling folks
to "come in and say hi!"
C.B.:saevil:

 

[naughty]

Oh relax, didn't anyone tell you 50 is the new 30? Thirty is the new... you are barely legal here and have nothing to worry about.

when one looks like you...