The Secret Fetish of a Black Girl

EboniGoddess

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Ok, now I've stayed away from posting for the last few months. I've logged on to see how everyone is doing but this is something that I absolutely need to post.

Many of you that I've known over the years know that I went to predominately white school. I went into college liking only black men and through a series of horrible experiences with black men and making friends in college with almost all white people I left far different then when I went in. By the time I graduated I had absolutely no sexual attraction to black men and I've only been attracted to whites.

I should be straightforward and say that I haven't had sex in almost two years. I went through a lot with my last boyfriend a couple of years ago in which I asked many of you for advice. I've talked to white men but recently I've had this fetish.

Now don't judge me for this. What is my fetish? I fantasize of sex with a white guy. But not just "normal" sex with a white guy. I've in fact had sex with TWO white guys I met through LPSG (but those stories are for another time). I however fantasize of having sex with a white guy and he calls me racial slurs. I especially get aroused at the thought of him calling me a Nig**r. You get what I'm saying here. I want him to say this stuff while he's dominant and "man handles" me during sex.

I feel so bad for wanting a white guy to have sex with me and say these things. I've looked over the internet for "race play" porn and I can't find any. I've found some with a white woman and black male but none with a black woman (like myself) and a white male. I think maybe it's too taboo because of slavery and the fact that white men would rape black women because black slaves were considered property of the white man. I did come across some stuff from Mollena. For more info about her and race-play there's an article here: When Prejudice Is Sexy: Inside the Kinky World of Race-Play

When I do get in a relationship with a white guy I have no idea how to tell him I want him to say this stuff to me. I'm even more afraid of what he would think of me. Then there's the issue of what if he says no. Most white men would never go there for fear of being looked at as a racist. I know he wouldn't be racist though.

Now before any of you go off and tell me I have some psychological issues I need to get resolved I will tell you that I don't. If a white guy ever called me a racial slur on the street I would punch him in the face. But in the bedroom it's a different story. I want him to be rough and call me all sorts of names.

I think we all deserve to play out our fetishes in the bedroom. I just wanted to see what you all thought about my fetish. Are lots of guys into this type of stuff. Of course I want to know what you women think of me. Well, advice?
 

sizequeenNY

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You should never feel bad about a fetish unless it is going to cause serious damage, is with an animal, or a minor

You have a fetish that is quite popular but out of the fetish world is not discussed try fetlife for info. If you want to explore your fetish further I suggest you carefully select someone that does not have a race issue but is interested in this type of play. In my experience some fetishists enjoy things for play while others consider it their actual feeling so again carefully pick someone

When I was young an older guy liked me. I was not interested because he was so much older but he tried to go out with me. We went out one time and I went back to his. I had a drink and he layed on the living room floor asking me to kick him while calling him the n word but I could not do it. He was very light skinned so there were times people did not identify him as black, it hurt his feelings. I think he felt bad that he did not suffer the way some of his family did based on what he said. Out of his fetish he was an affluent businessman
 

nicenycdick

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We all want things in the bedroom that we would never admit to out in the streets. It is sometimes difficult for us to accept these things about ourselves, and we often deny them, even to ourselves. I think the fact that you have recognized what turns you on is a wonderful thing! I would imagine that we could all suggest some deep rooted need or desire that your particular fetish satisfies...but none of that would change that it is something that works for you. Go with it. I think if you approach a man with the idea that this is a playful, harmless thing that just makes your juices flow, he would be willling to make it work for you.
 
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Penis Aficionado

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Hey Rommette,

I've been gone for several months as well and just came back, and I remember your very thoughtful posts ... welcome back!

I would just echo what the others have said in that one should never feel ashamed of a fantasy. It doesn't say anything about you other than that you have an imagination.

I sometimes fantasize about a straight guy "manhandling" me and calling me a sissy or a fag ... in fact I bet if you asked that's a fairly common thing. But if someone called me that and really meant it -- I mean, said it with actual prejudice and malice -- like you I would be ready to fight.

At first I thought you would have a problem finding a white guy willing to indulge this fantasy, because race is the ultimate sensitive topic, and most whites my age and younger, especially if we went to college, got indoctrinated with a lot of white guilt.

But then I looked at your boobs and realized you could pretty much get a guy to do anything!
 
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EllieP

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Hi Rommette! Welcome back!

I admit I don't understand most festishes although I probably have my own - I just don't voice them or even try to acknowledge them.

I do like to be dominated at times, but yours has a different twist that I couldn't get into (for one thing I'm white, and derogatory slurs aren't my thing). Bedroom things are even more secure than Vegas things - it stays in the bedroom.

Sweetie, what you want doesn't hurt a soul. I think the real problem would be finding a willing partner who gives you what you want, but doesn't feel that way in his heart.
 

hsarge

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You should only be concerned if the man involved is too eager. Many women enjoy condescending language about their sexuality, e.g. Whore, bitch, slut, etc. they are not such but get turned on by the different perception. It is probably the same for you. The n word has a connotation of slavery to many. For you you, this part is a game, so long as your lover knows that.
 

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I think this is perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of. It would be nice to see racial slurs give sexual please to those they are trying to offend. What a world that would be.
 
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Mercurygirl

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Hey Rommette,

I've been gone for several months as well and just came back, and I remember your very thoughtful posts ... welcome back!

I would just echo what the others have said in that one should never feel ashamed of a fantasy. It doesn't say anything about you other than that you have an imagination.

I sometimes fantasize about a straight guy "manhandling" me and calling me a sissy or a fag ... in fact I bet if you asked that's a fairly common thing. But if someone called me that and really meant it -- I mean, said it with actual prejudice and malice -- like you I would be ready to fight.

At first I thought you would have a problem finding a white guy willing to indulge this fantasy, because race is the ultimate sensitive topic, and most whites my age and younger, especially if we went to college, got indoctrinated with a lot of white guilt.

But then I looked at your boobs and realized you could pretty much get a guy to do anything!

Although I agree with most of your post I disagree with what I've placed in bold. I believe a person's fantasies/fetishes are more than just about someone's imagination. Some fantasies are deeply rooted in a person's psyche and a reflection of internalized issues that more than likely developed in childhood. There's some strong studies that agree with this view. The feelings/fantasies Rommette has expressed here could well be the result of unresolved issues, most likely concerning important men in her childhood, that now play out in her adult life through a subconscious need/feed.

This thread is a total eye opener for me. I just can't imagine a black woman wanting to be treated in such a manner. I'm shocked really. But I guess it's just another form of sexual submission and degradation. In this case on a racial level. Again, I never knew this type of thing existed.

As people have already stated, as long as no one is getting hurt then have at it. If you want to play in your own yard who am I to look over the fence and tell you not to. But you called out publicly to have me/us look over that fence and I can honestly say, I don't like what I see. Not because I'm judging you but because I think there's more to this than just a fantasy. My concern is for you and how you arrived to a point in which you want white men to say things to you that society has deemed completely unacceptable. That your own race would be appalled by.

I'm just going to throw this out there (mostly because I just don't have a personal filter and say what's on my mind), Do have a problem with being black? Is there some inner shame? Also, how do you feel when it comes to your own father?
 
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strauss1

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I don't think it's anything to be ashamed about at all, the world behind closed bedroom doors with consenting adults doesn't always have to be acceptable, understood or shared with the outside public world.
 
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temsike

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It sounds like no big deal to me. It's classic sub behavior. Heck, if you're a hot looking black woman and you live near me, I'll do you the favor<grin>.
 

twoton

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I've seen white man/black woman bondage pics of the type you're looking for, so it's definitely out there. Not hard to find if you know where to look.

My issue with it would be: are the people in the pics really, truly there because they really truly want to be? Or are there mitigating factors that put them there?
 

bananaclubcock

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I'd echo almost everyone else here by saying that we all have odd desires. To me, our odd desires just highlight that finding someone we care deeply and broadly for is one of the better ways to indulge those desires. One of the threads about submissive women highlighted that they don't just want to be mistreated by some random guy, but rather wanted to play with someone who they had other reasons for liking. If all they wanted was to be pissed on, wouldn't that be really easy to arrange?

Your desire to engage in race play is probably not too far from my interest in calling women bitch in the heat of passion. I tend to go for tougher, more independent and feminist-type women (I even prefer unabashedly feminist pornstars!). With these women, things like power plays, dominance, etc. seem a lot more hot to me. I don't think dominating a meek, traditional woman is all that interesting. But picking a high powered woman up while holding her ass and moving her around on my cock and calling her bitch (something like "my bitch", "dirty bitch" or when I'm trying to soften the edge with a newer partner "sexy bitch" or "hot little bitch") is an enormous turn on for me. I think it has something to do with the force of my sexual desires as a complicated imperative, something that often makes me feel a bit overwhelmed. To be dominating and manhandling with a tough feminist woman is like tackling a big challenge and making it my bitch! I think for me there is also some resentment of female power involved as well and it is probably best for me to show that as kind of desperate passion. I'm think beyond a certain age, we know that much of nasty language usually comes from a position of weakness, not strength. With these women, I am turned on because I am aware of both my weakness (the resentment) and my strength (the ability to conquer challenges).

And much like you and being called "nigger", calling a woman on the street "bitch" is really not something I would do unless maybe I saw a woman harming someone else. Even then I'd probably be ashamed of my lack of decorum. But awesomely, sex can let us be that bit more complicated. If I was a love with a black woman who enjoyed being called "nigger" in bed, I'd be all over rocking her world. It wouldn't even phase me. If I were in love with her, I'd take her needs and her views of these things much more seriously than I'd take anyone else's.

One more thing on the subject of race play and sex. I can't remember where I heard this, so I might be mis-representing it and I am not sure that source was totally reliable anyway. BUT, there is a story out there that J. Edgar Hoover's FBI in its audio surveillance of Martin Luther King caught him with one of his white mistresses in the heat of sexual passion screaming "I AIN'T NO NIGGER NOW!" Whether or not the story is true or not, I think we can all see that it is very, very possible. A very charismatic and bold man is that bit more likely to have sexual conquests and his desires are likely tied up in with his complex persona. For someone like that, breaking out of the box the world put him has to have been a very, very deep desire. When you realize that stuff like that is probably out there, it puts a lot of our other desires into perspective.
 
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I'm not a chatter when it comes to bedroom banter. Much more on body movement, action. Maybe props, setting a scene, nothing to extravagant. Maybe a novel, rather than trying to look at the porn side, that contains similar fantasies left about. Sometimes guessing is half the fun. Or just come straight out and talk about it. Sounds to me like you may have found someone though.
 
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D_Jacqueline_Boozann

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Calling me the "N" word would be abhorent, repugnant! I have never had a man utter any racial slurs in the bedroom. Yes, I said to one of my suitors in the heat of passion, "fuck me, white man!" He was not offended.

OK, I admit, I am an admirer of the vanilla-chocolate syndrome. My white suitors are the vanilla, and since I am a black woman, I am the chocolate.

They love hearing those words; it is a fantasy for them and for me.
 
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Tee&A

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I am a black woman (and I wouldn't do it), but that's a decision you'll have to make for you.
I am concerned about how mentally healthy it would be for you after the deed, though. Worst case scenario is that afterward, you feel a stink on your body (and mind) that you won't be able to scrub off for a very, very long time...