Alright, folks. That sexual orientation meter thing has been a bit of a bother to some people on the forum, sure. I can see that. But, you know what's a little more disconcerting than that? All the blanks! Really! I know it took me a few minutes to determine where I "fit" on the continuum, but there are so many people who just leave it (along with a lot of other nice details <_< ) blank. So, I'm gonna help! I'm gonna help you guys find out where you fit on the continuum. This will probably be an ongoing questionnaire, but hey... gotta start somewhere... (Note: Some questions may be more geared toward one gender than the other. In those ambiguous instances, try to identify yourself as best as possible with said gender and answer as best as you can. This is not a pass-fail examination.) Here goes! Why did you join the LPSG in the first place? Was it because of... the S [Support -- because you have questions and need answers] the G [Group -- because you like participating in online forums] or the P [Penis -- ooh, baby!] And if you answered P, are you only interested in LP's or will any ol' P satisfy? So, an LP walks into a bar and takes the stool right alongside you, gives you a nod and/or smile, and orders a drink. Do you... smile back and tend to your own drink? engage him in conversation? engage him in footsie? drop all pretenses and give him a grope or three? before forcefully dropping down his trousers? And if he groped you first, would you make a witty comeback, a direct and firm rebuttal to stop (because, yo, that ain't your thing), or race him into the bathroom? Yeah, it's hard to stand at the urinal while Mr. LP over there is making a show of his meat. Hell, he probably didn't mean it; he's got to fish it out just like you. And where are your eyeballs? eyes and face forward, staring at the wall eyes and face forward, discreet peeking mindless conversation while pissing hopeful conversation while pissing Oh, bloody hell! You give him a look... ...while you're steadfastedly jacking off. And did you give him a nod and say, "Nice meat!" or not? So, you get a totally random IM from an LPSGer. Out of courtesy, they identify themselves as a member of the group. And you reply with... a salutation a greeting with a conversation starter your vital statistics, including penis size what you want to do with THEIR statistics a request for pics or cam, preferably with huge schlong... 'cause you're rarin' to go! When you masturbate, you think of... a woman a man women men both both at the same time... hitting it from all angles... animals m-m-m-m-mmmonnneeyyyyy! And how much alcohol did it take you before you decided, to hell with it, that you were going to make out with your same-sex chum? a sip a single a six pack a twelve pack a keg... with a hit or two of Ecstasy Oh, c'mon. You were neighborly enough to slip some tongue, right? In either case, were you the dominant one or the aggressive? Would you get angry if someone captured footage of you and your same-sex partner and sold it off to Girls (or Boys) Gone Wild? What's your excuse? (Would you say you had more to drink than you actually did?) Irregardless of gender, do you refer to most people you come across as "Guuuurrrrrrrrllllll?" Do you throw in a Z-Snap and a hair toss for a bit of flair? Are you not gay, but your girl/boyfriend identifies as such? Does terminology like "ass pirate," "chode poker," and "bootie bandit" make you shout and scream profanity or Hallelujah? Do you have a shirt with those words or other similar verbiage? And if so, how often do you wear it in public? Do you wear that shirt in combination with "shit kickers," also known as dusty and/or worn down cowboy boots? And throw in a John Deere hat to match? Do you get a kick out of being so confusing and/or non-matching, you damn wannabe non-committed breeder? Oh yeah... do you like the word "breeder" either? Is it better for you to use sports terminology to describe what you like in bed? Are you a pitcher or a catcher? Do you like to slide it into home or steal bases? Do you really think the umpire is blind? And, when is a backrub between chums more than just a backrub? If your chum's body is a map of the world, do you spend more time south of the Equator? If someone was in bed with you, spooning you -- that is, their body curled up directly behind yours, in such a position that accommodates the curvature of your spine, torso, and legs -- would you... edge away slowly scoot away push them away back up into their genitalia and rub... ...fervently? That's all for now, kiddies. Be honest, ok?