the shitty way society treats male victims of sexual abuse.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolfette, Jul 13, 2011.

  1. dolfette

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    it's a major pet hate of mine.

    the lack of sympathy, the woefully inadequate (or often non-existent) support services, the implication that they are less of a man, the assumption that they must have enjoyed it.

    female victims get a bum deal but male victims get it much, much worse.

    thoughts?
     
  2. shoxx

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    i guess so. i cant get into the chatroom. grrr
     
  3. SilverTrain

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    Agree with you.
     
  4. alx

    alx
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    Agreed, tbh 99% of males wouldnt even say a thing to anyone simply for the reason that they'll get a heap load of abuse off of other people.
     
  5. psguy64

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  6. dolfette

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    true.
    if they were abused as kids they are sometimes assumed to have become paedophiles.
    if they were abused by men, as adults, they are often seen as gay.
    if they were abused by women? a large number of people won't even agree it's possible.
     
  7. B_doogie888

    B_doogie888 New Member

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    Unfortunate, but that's the way it is. Ties back to a previous thread about men crying, it's just one of those things that emasculates a man. Molestation/rape is usually based on a need for feeling powerful, and the implication for the victim in that context is that they were "owned" or dominated by their attacker. No man wants it to be known he was dominated.
     
  8. Zephyranthes

    Zephyranthes New Member

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    Boatloads of things society does and/or views as correct or okay, is utter horseshit. This isn't anything new, nor should it be surprising.
     
  9. dolfette

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  10. B_doogie888

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  11. dolfette

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    but these things can be changed.
    we shouldn't just shrug them off as facts of life.

    attitudes towards female victims have improved a lot.
    they were once stoned to death, or locked up in asylums.

    attitudes should be challenged.
    issues should be talked about.
    the injustice needs bringing out into the open.
     
  12. D_Hey Sailor

    D_Hey Sailor New Member

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    I think people like to believe in a just world where the good are rewarded, and the bad get what's coming to them. All too often this mindset spills over to the innocent who are incumbered with some woeful misfortune, and are labelled as deserving of whatever happened by those who need to protect their skewed reality.
     
  13. dolfette

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    victim blaming is more than just that though.

    if we can convince ourselves that they are only a victim because they are gay/weak/teasing/slutty/stupid then we can convince ourselves that we must be safe, because we're not flawed like they are.

    it's the mindset of cowards.
     
  14. D_Hey Sailor

    D_Hey Sailor New Member

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    Very true.

    I didn't hope my view would account for everything wretched that gets directed at victims, as it's certainly just small piece of a much larger puzzle.

    EDIT: I do think that the convincing ourselves bit that you touched on serves a purpose though. Doing so would help alleviate personal feelings of fragility, or anxiety, and that's quite adaptive, no? It might be something innate, or socialized into us. The strong move on, the weak are put aside to die sort of thing.
     
    #14 D_Hey Sailor, Jul 13, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2011
  15. MickeyLee

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    what Ms. Dolfette said.
    the whole dang thread through.
     
  16. galaxus

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    Thats the thing with the male gender. If a man is labeled a victim they are also labeled as less than a man.

    You get robbed-you can't protect yourself
    You get assualted-you can't fight
    ect-ect
     
  17. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    Ironically, it seems far more acceptable for women to be seen as "sweet defenceless victims" than it is of men. The tragedy is that it is socially acceptable for that status to exist.
     
  18. dolfette

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    that attitude sucks,
    but at least it ensures funding for support.
     
  19. monel

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    Not ironic and never acceptable. The difference is that it can be understandable if a woman is overpowered by a man - generally speaking - and so there is less "shame" for having been. For a man to be victimized especially in certain ways, says that he cannot protect himself let alone a SO, or family. The societal implications of his failure are more harsh. That's not to suggest it is easier by any means for a female victim. They are just viewed very differently.
     
  20. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

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    I keep reading about more incidences involving Catholic priests. Seems they usually go after boys.
     
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