the shitty way society treats male victims of sexual abuse.

[sassy Lisa]

Yep they are with the way women want it.

 

[dolfette]

Men are second class citizens.

i wouldn't say that as a general rule.
but in some ways, especially this way...

 

[danjs584]

I think that I've put myself in situations which have allowed people to take advantage of me. For the past few years I've had major problems with anxiety and depression so I regularly take prescribed klonopin and ativan, and sometimes ambien to fall asleep. If I drink on top of this I will often blackout and not remember much about what has happened. Several times I'm woken up next to someone I had hooked up with and not remembered it. For a while I just thought, "oh well, another night I got too messed up and went home with someone I shouldn't have." But about a month ago I was staying with a supposedly close friend for a few days and had taken Ecstasy the first night and hooked up with someone else. The next night I was crashing from the E, exhausted and anxious, and took my klonopin, ativan, and an ambien to sleep for the night. The next thing I know, my friend is next to me on the bed, both our pants are down, and a third guy is taking turns sitting on our cocks. That's all I remember--no memory of how it finished, if i cummed, etc. The next morning I asked my friend what had happened and he said he had invited a guy from the internet over to have a 3 way. I asked if I at least put on a condom and he said he put one on me. Now I'm thinking that 1) him knowing me well and the meds I take 2) him knowing i was crashing off of E, and 3) that I was obviously so messed up that he needed to put the condom on for me...that he should have known I was too messed up to consent to having sex with them and should have stopped the other guy from doing it. Thinking about it sober later I know I definitely would not want to have sex with my friend because I don't find him attractive. The other guy I think was attractive but I can't imagine wanting to have sex with him AND my friend at the same time. It also makes me wonder how many other times this type of thing could have happened.

 

[dolfette]

legally and morally, that was rape.
this guy is not your friend.
nobody who would do that is your friend.

 

[danjs584]

legally and morally, that was rape.
this guy is not your friend.
nobody who would do that is your friend.

Thanks for saying that. I have felt betrayed by him but wasn't sure if it was justified til now.

 

[Ed69]

LPSG jus proved it!A a thread about females being fondled while asleep got deleted in less than 48 hours.Yet it's still ok to talk about doing this to a male?WOW


Ass covering!


Now the other thread is gone,we can't get turned by fondling males now!

 

[dolfette]

Thanks for saying that. I have felt betrayed by him but wasn't sure if it was justified til now.

it's justified. you deserve so much better than that!

my advice, which you're free to ignore...
you need and deserve to invest in yourself a little more than you are. walk away from people who don't deserve your trust and friendship. treat your body well, keep it healthy. avoid situations where arseholes might take advantage of you. remember that you have as much right to be treated with respect as everyone else.

i know i'm just some unknown wanker on the internet but i've read enough of your posts to decide that you're a decent person who deserves better.

 

[Upperdown]

As a man who was sexually harassed, groped, and other disgusting things, I can tell you that society in the USA does not protect men. I filed multiple complaints against a female coworker, and nothing was done to her. If it had been the other way around, I'd have been fired, and faced prosecution.

I will further your point.

I'm not gay but I spent an entire night fending off the advances of a gay man who would grope me at his every convenience. To be honest, I would never want him to go to jail for his actions, I understand the amazing desire men can feel. Having said that, everyone thought it was hilarious; especially over the next several days (and to this day). Nobody I know would be allowed to think that was funny if it were male on female. In fact, the male would be a monster and the female the innoccent victim of said monster. There would be questions of the male aggressors mental state, his past sexual history and potential other victims, and caution when he was around. None of that happened to aggressive male that groped me. You see this when female teachers rape their students, people ask "is she hot?" or when women lie about being raped to victimize men (yet, she is always the victim). Sexuality is a weapon to used by women, and feared by men.

This sexism on the behalf of women (I'll hold my breath till they fess up). For men out there that are sick of being victimized by women, and their constant sexist crusade against male sexuality, there is a mens movement. Women laugh at it and demean it as meaningless; often wedging stories of their abuse in to prove that men deserve no rights. This is far from the reality! Men deserve equality; flat out!

I strongly suggest joining your local mens movement. Many are far less 'militant' than I am, and many are in need of support. Btw, I have yet to see a woman at the mens rights meetings; equality should be a benefit to women, not men. I especially urge homosexual men to look into this. Most of the rules we have on male sexuality are targeted at male on male relations.

For your reference: Female rapists; teachers
The big list: Female teachers with students
If you want to become incensed, google these womens sentences. Ex: Alison Peck plead guilty to 3 statutory rapes, for which she got five years....of probation.

Better yet lets compare a male to a female offender and sentences: both from CO


Yvette Starzyk who may have had many victims and plead to two felonies (neither rape, though she certainly had sex with the victims) and recieved 3 years probation. If these were men there would be hell to pay for such light sentences. Further, she described her crime as "a right or passage" for the minors.

Travis Masse: sent text messages to a former student which indicated a sexual relationship with a minor, though he was charged with the same offenses as Yvette Starzyk he was never offered a plea, and is facing 8 years to life in prison for the exact same crimes.

Woman does it: 3 years probation
Man does it: 8 years to life.

 

[bobg4400]

I remember seeing a film a while ago that kinda embodies this trope. Something with demi moore and michael douglas? If that was his name? Anyway she attempts to rape him then tries to pass it off as him raping her and get him fired or something. I'm kinda sketchy on the details but I just thought I'd mention it since it shows that not everyone in society views female-on-male rape as okay. Which is sometimes the impression I get.

 

[Drifterwood]

i wouldn't say that as a general rule.
but in some ways, especially this way...

I would argue that men are second class citizens now in these areas:-

Family Law
Health
Social Security
Sexual Law
Sexual wellbeing

:frown1:

 

[Upperdown]

it's justified. you deserve so much better than that!

my advice, which you're free to ignore...
you need and deserve to invest in yourself a little more than you are. walk away from people who don't deserve your trust and friendship. treat your body well, keep it healthy. avoid situations where arseholes might take advantage of you. remember that you have as much right to be treated with respect as everyone else.

i know i'm just some unknown wanker on the internet but i've read enough of your posts to decide that you're a decent person who deserves better.

I wanted to point out some inconsitency here: this if from the thread Bareback Without Consent

Serial Kisser[/B] [URL]http://www.lpsg.org/images/buttons/viewpost.gif[/URL]
Maybe you should be a little more careful in picking your partners.

Originally Posted by subgirrl [URL]http://www.lpsg.org/images/buttons/viewpost.gif[/URL]
No because I don't fuck assholes.

i'm disgusted to read this sort of victim blaming attitude here.

it's not ok.

In this case the victim, a male, should "invest in himself" and avoid the situation, in the other thread where the victim was a female she was blameless and your advice didn't apply. You are telling Danjs to blame himself for not avoiding the situation, not treating his body well, and not respecting himself. You should be completely ashamed of yourself!

Danjs584: you have every right to feel what you are feeling. You did nothing wrong. Breaches of trust are painful, no matter how small. Healing can take a lot of time and strength. No one asks to be a victim, but you have the power to decide how you respond to the situation; no one can take that from you.

 

[Upperdown]

I remember seeing a film a while ago that kinda embodies this trope. Something with demi moore and michael douglas? If that was his name? Anyway she attempts to rape him then tries to pass it off as him raping her and get him fired or something. I'm kinda sketchy on the details but I just thought I'd mention it since it shows that not everyone in society views female-on-male rape as okay. Which is sometimes the impression I get.

That was Disclosure.

I would note that film is not about the sexaul assault on Michael Douglass, but about his boss, Demi Moore, setting him up to get fired; which she does twice. Demi never tried to rape him, she used the very power we are discussing in this thread to smear his name and make him unfit to be an officer of the company. It is also important to note that even though Moore is later shown as the aggressor and Douglass as the one who walked away from the encouter, she is still fit to be CEO. Its not until they catch here setting up Douglass the second time that she is fired.

Again, its fine for women to say "no means yes" but men are monsters.

 

[Upperdown]

I would argue that men are second class citizens now in these areas:-

Family Law
Health
Social Security
Sexual Law
Sexual wellbeing

:frown1:

I would add to the list:

Criminal Law: men consistently get harsher sentences than women for the same crime

National Defense: men should die in war honorably, while we don't think that of women.

 

[rothen]

Women at my job take maternity leave, collect the pay, then quit on their first day back. I guess it is fair because it is retribution for all of the horrible things we men have done.

 

[Upperdown]

Women at my job take maternity leave, collect the pay, then quit on their first day back. I guess it is fair because it is retribution for all of the horrible things we men have done.

Injustice is never the answer to injustice; equality is. There is no cosmic balance sheet of 'this many offenses to this many retributions.' Nor can there be.

Hate isn't the answer to hate
Violence isn't the answer to violence
racism isnt the answer to racism


I would further point out that I have done nothing 'horrible' to women. In fact, I treat them better than I treat men (though I'm working on stopping that).

 

[rothen]

Using logic won't appeal to the masses.

 

[dolfette]

I wanted to point out some inconsitency here: this if from the thread Bareback Without Consent

In this case the victim, a male, should "invest in himself" and avoid the situation, in the other thread where the victim was a female she was blameless and your advice didn't apply. You are telling Danjs to blame himself for not avoiding the situation, not treating his body well, and not respecting himself. You should be completely ashamed of yourself!

i would say that the clearly visible chip on your shoulder has you reading things the way you want to read them.

my comments about keeping away from people who do not deserve him followed his own comment that he wasn't sure he was justified in feeling betrayed by his attacker. victims do not always feel justified in shunning their attackers, though they are entirely justified. he should feel justified in his anger and betrayal, he should feel justified in severing his 'friendship'. and an arsehole who has assaulted him once may well assault him again.
my comments about taking better care of yourself physically were made to a guy who is mixing heavy medication with recreational drugs, who admits to self loathing, which could seriously screw up his health. i happen to think his health is important.
there was no blame. at no point did i say he brought it upon himself, because he did not. there was merely my opinion that he is a person who is worth caring for, and my advice on how to start.

your femme hating agenda is obvious, cliché and unproductive.
i'll not bother reading any more of it.

 

[SR_HollowAngel]

Its a sexual harassment is a double-edged sword that cut one side more than the other. For females we take pity because (according to society) she got taken advantage of by the (stronger/brute) male. If the role were reversed then it would appear as though the strong was dominated by the weak (again, society not my view).

The whole thing is just a tangled mess of skewed perceptions and false ideas. Bottom line, it should not happen to anyone.

 

[Upperdown]

i would say that the clearly visible chip on your shoulder has you reading things the way you want to read them.

my comments about keeping away from people who do not deserve him followed his own comment that he wasn't sure he was justified in feeling betrayed by his attacker. victims do not always feel justified in shunning their attackers, though they are entirely justified. he should feel justified in his anger and betrayal, he should feel justified in severing his 'friendship'. and an arsehole who has assaulted him once may well assault him again.
my comments about taking better care of yourself physically were made to a guy who is mixing heavy medication with recreational drugs, who admits to self loathing, which could seriously screw up his health. i happen to think his health is important.
there was no blame. at no point did i say he brought it upon himself, because he did not. there was merely my opinion that he is a person who is worth caring for, and my advice on how to start.

your femme hating agenda is obvious, cliché and unproductive.
i'll not bother reading any more of it.

Femme hating agenda? Is that your pathetic attempt to label me? I demand equilty, if that (to you) is "femme hating" then so be it. I will not settle for your double standards, your man blaming rhetoric, or your labels. He had nothing to do with is own rape, and it isn't Ok for you to say he did.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

But she didn't say he did.

You are twisting her words to make it fit your femme hating agenda. :smile:
(But really, you are - stop it and just try reading what people are actually saying.)