The soap opera test

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by jonb, Jan 29, 2005.

  1. jonb

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    A soap opera test. Always pick the last one which can apply to you. Anyone want to add any more questions?

    1. What's the worst mistaken identity you've ever had?
    A. Mistaken for a celebrity.
    B. I've done the "twin switch" before.
    C. My image has been posted on the internet and PhotoShopped before.
    D. Someone kidnapped me and replaced me with a clone.

    2. If someone tells you your clothes don't match, what happens?
    A. I thank her.
    B. I ignore her.
    C. I criticize her own fashion sense.
    D. It's on!

    3. Has someone ever "come out" to you?
    A. Come out of what?
    B. Yes, a friend.
    C. Yes, a family member.
    D. Yes, two or more significant others -- and they're DATING now.

    4. How many times have you tried to change your "image"?
    A. Never.
    B. Once.
    C. Twice.
    D. Three or more times.

    5. You just broke up. What do you do?
    A. Flame them on your blog.
    B. Write a song about them and sing it on national television.
    C. Reveal an embarrassing secret.
    D. Get them fired from their job or expelled from school.

    6. Have you ever cheated on anyone before?
    A. No.
    B. Yes.
    C. Yes, but they cheated first.
    D. I had two "exclusive" significant others at once.

    7. Has your significant other ever cheated on you?
    A. No.
    B. Yes.
    C. Yes, but I cheated first.
    D. He or she had two "exclusive" significant others at once.

    8. Have you ever stolen something?
    A. No.
    B. Just a pack of gum.
    C. And I got in trouble with the law.
    D. I stole something very dear to someone who betrayed me.

    9. Did you have a crush on a teacher as a kid?
    A. No.
    B. Yes, and the other kids railed me about it.
    C. Yes, and when I graduated, we started dating.
    D. Yes, and we started screwing even before I graduated.

    10. What's your opinion of the internet?
    A. It's a Pascal program written by Al Gore to pass the time during a filibuster.
    B. It's where I get my porn! ^_^
    C. It's where I can slander people anonymously.
    D. My ex-best friend set up a webcam in my room and charged $19.95 a pop.

    Scoring: Give yourself zero points for every A, one for every B, two for every C, and three for every D.

    0-10 -- 1950s sitcom. You might watch a soap and think "What drama queens!" You're so normal, you probably have 2.3 children.
    10-20 -- Reality TV. You've had more than a little drama in your life. You might've even pulled a Hamlet when watching TV.
    20+ -- Soap opera. Drama's fun to watch, not live. Either way, you're more likely to think "That is SO true!" instead of "That could NEVER happen!"
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Brilliant, jonb! Brilliant!

    May I humbly submit some more?

    Did you ever die as a result of a car wreck/hunting accident/mugging?
    A. No
    B. Yes
    C. I don't drive
    D. No, but I did kill a look-alike and stage my death for the insurance

    Have you ever owned your own business?
    A. No
    B. Yes, I had a paper route
    C. No, but I live over a deli
    D. Yes, a bar, but I'm in debt to a loan shark who drinks up my profits
     
  3. madame_zora

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    Surprisingly, I only scored a 17, I would have thought I was far more dramatic than that, but I guess "reality tv" isn't really very normal! Thanks for the chuckles.
     
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