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- Mule,
Over the course of my life, I've learned some things that have helped me improve as a person and become the way I want to be: Curious, happy, free and kind. I've adopted this four-word phrase as both a guide and an aspiration. It's who I want to be and perhaps more importantly, a foundation for my interactions with others.
So in the hope that I can continue to learn and with the intention that we all might help one another along the road, I thought it might be fun to share our nuggets of social wisdom. What I find really interesting is that most of the positive social examples (what to do, how to act, etc.) I've learned from women and most of the negative examples (actions to avoid, etc) come from observing other men, especially in their interactions with women. Of course there are exceptions to these - I know some great men that I really admire for their kindness and selflessness.
Anyhow, I have a tendency to ramble, so let's get on with it.
So in the hope that I can continue to learn and with the intention that we all might help one another along the road, I thought it might be fun to share our nuggets of social wisdom. What I find really interesting is that most of the positive social examples (what to do, how to act, etc.) I've learned from women and most of the negative examples (actions to avoid, etc) come from observing other men, especially in their interactions with women. Of course there are exceptions to these - I know some great men that I really admire for their kindness and selflessness.
Anyhow, I have a tendency to ramble, so let's get on with it.
- We all have "emotional bank accounts" to which others can deposit or withdraw. Making small and regular deposits to others' accounts helps everyone be a little happier and it costs nothing but a little time and humility.
- Keep good people close. Invest in them: They deserve the best of you and you'll become a better person from being with them.
- Life is too short to waste on those who repeatedly withdraw more from your account than they deposit. Sometimes you might love that person (and continue to love them), but there is a point at which it's better for you to let them go.
- When we are around others, they always show us exactly who they are, but we often miss the cues. Sometimes because the signs are subtle or obscured, but more often because we're not listening.
- Those that ask thoughtful questions and really listen to the answers tend to be more caring.
- People who talk passionately about things other than themselves tend to be happier people who are generous in nature.
- Those who talk about plans but rarely follow through can be infuriating, and it accumulates steadily over time. Accommodating or humoring them doesn't help. It might take a long time to blow up, but it won't end well.
- Individuals who start sentences with "Actually-" tend to be self-important douchebags who think they know better than everyone else and are determined to prove it at any opportunity. How much of that do you want to tolerate before walking away?
- People can change over time, but it may take more time and effort than you are willing to give and it's not your job to change them.
- Those that are simply toxic deserve none of your time. Run and don't look back.
- Brutally honest self-awareness is the key to being a good friend, lover, or partner.
- We are wonderful, amazing creatures of great potential, but with that comes complexity and nuance. Enjoy the diversity of the human experience without getting caught up with the downside: Turn your nose to the wind, move forward and let negativity slide off your back.