The story of my life...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by cafeo, Dec 12, 2011.

  1. cafeo

    cafeo Active Member

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    Hi. Sorry I know it's a long post...
    Ok, so I'm 20 years old. I've never had a girlfriend in my life, so I'm a virgin. I'm not ugly or anything, I'm just very very shy, and I have a shitload of other problems...
    I had a lot of crushes in high school, but never managed to take one to a next level. I tried to do that once, and got really bad. I acted like a total looser and the girl made fun of me. Since then I lost my self-confidence.
    I have another crush now. It's a girl from the internet. I asked for her live messenger ID on a social network and she gave it to me. Now the thing is that I don't know what to do.
    I told you about a "shitload of problems" I have. These problems are a serious factor of my low self confidence.
    First: I'm poor. I mean, I have enough money to eat, pay for bills and that's it. I can't work because I'm a student and I can't miss any class because they are very strict about this. So my mother is the only one who works (my parents are divorced by the way).
    So I'm thinking: "OK, I'm with this girl in a relationship, I don't have any money. I can't even take her out for a drink. How will I manage to stick with her."
    Two: I don't have a bathroom. Yes, I know, we are living in the 21st century. I think I'm the only one who doesn't have a bathroom and "warm water". It's very hard to wash myself. So I'm thinking: "What if she wants to come over to myplace? I don't even have a bathroom. And my wc is in a little room where you can't even turn around. What will she think about me?"
    I'm sick of being single, being a virgin, being a looser. I want to do what normal people do. I really feel that this girl is perfect for me. I don't want to blow it again. I don't know what to do.
    What would you do if you were in my place?
     
  2. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    I've seen and made longer :p I'm just glad you used paragraphs :D

    These issues mean so little man. At least they are not all psychological issues and I know they are a bit awkward but the fact is if she is worth keeping they will not matter. Especially the money one, as she should understand. YOu can stay in and watch a film, enjoy each others company maybe?

    But one step at a time. Why don't you poke fun out of the fact you don't have a bathroom? Then she will know and if it isn't a big deal to you it is less likely to be for her. She isn't moving in remember.

    You need to build a friendship with her and then try for other things. Don't rush the virgin thing, and don't put too much pressure on it. This is your biggest issue, this and your lack of self-confidence.

    Raising self-esteem is the hardest thing for people to do I think. I still have no idea how to do it, you just have to be as confident and witty as possible. Be somebody people enjoy being around.
     
  3. At.your.cervix

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    Don't worry so much about things like not having two quarters to rub together. Seriously. If you two were meant to be, even if just for a short while, she'll accept you "warts and all" (OK, warts can be a deal breaker, especially if they're on the genitals, but you know what I'm saying). Those aspects of your life which you're so ashamed of just might make you even more lovable to her. And if not, not. There's an old saying which i really believe in, it's: "for every sock, there's a shoe." If you give yourself a chance, you'll find somebody for whom you fit the bill--maybe even this one who you're so worried about.

    Hang in there.
     
  4. B_enzia35

    B_enzia35 New Member

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    Pictures of your dick (shown to her) might help.
     
  5. Phil Ayesho

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    When I was a student, I worked. And so did my roommate and most of the other guys I knew.
    They got part time jobs during school... and full time jobs between semesters.


    And finally. There are girls who are int the exact same boat you are... students who have no real money and little free time.... these girls are unlikely to expect fellow students to be flush with cash.

    Try being honest with girls.... its not necessary for you to apologize for your circumstances as a college student. Although you better be able to laugh about it.

    Just the fact that , despite those circumstances, you are going to college, will impress the kind of girl you ought to be looking for.
     
  6. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    hey, I went to college and was poor. I worked sometimes as many as 3 part time jobs going to college. I quit and worked for awhile, and then went back and got my degree. I worked as a doorman one nite a week at one bar(Fri), and cleaned another bar 3 mornings a week. my senior yr on Tues and Thursdays had a 2 hour lunch between classes, and a gal I met as a junior had the same classes. we started studying together & soon I was balls deep with her twice a week!!! on the weekends we went our own way, and most weekends I was getting laid.

    build self-confidence, gals love it, not cocky or arrogant, but believe in yourself, develop a sense of humor. learn to dance. gals love to laugh and dance, and if you can get the first 2 right, getting laid gets easy.
     
  7. helgaleena

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    enzia is a very funny fellow. :p Also, there is no such thing as 'what normal people do'. There is only what certain numbers of people do, and in my own life I have never, very seldom, been part of a group of people that did not reckon me, the melanin-challenged left-handed four-eyed female with the hard to say name, as an anomaly. I got used to the truth that there is no 'ordinary' into which I easily fit. There is only what fits the life i lead day to day, and how happy I can be with the choices available.

    I suggest you do the same. If you have a microwave or a tea-kettle, you have the ability to heat up a wash-cloth and clean yourself, bit by bit. If you wish for more, it is possible to use the bathing facilities at gyms at your school, or if you are not enrolled in a school there are health clubs you can buy membership and use their facilities.

    Above all concentrate upon being at ease with what you do have. Positive attitude will attract companionship and negative attitude will attract the opposite. Watch some Charlie Chaplin.
     
  8. houtx48

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    Rick Perry's cousin?
     
  9. B_enzia35

    B_enzia35 New Member

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    Also, if she's looking for guys with money, then it won't work out long term anyway.
     
  10. B_enzia35

    B_enzia35 New Member

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    Nah, I was thinking of that Weiner guy.
     
  11. D_Herman_Smellville

    D_Herman_Smellville New Member

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    I say just be 100% honest and let her know what your situation is like at the moment. Worst case scenario is she breaks it off with you now but she would have done that anyway once you finally did tell her if you think about it. Just be honest and since your a student she should look at it like your trying to improve your situation rather than if you weren't donig nothing with yourself.

    Hope this helps and I wish you the best
     
  12. cafeo

    cafeo Active Member

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    I've read anything you wrote guys, and you have valid arguments. I should go for it, and if she doesn't accept me as I am, then she doesn't deserve me to think about her.
    Thanks for advices.
     
  13. sexplease

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    There are plenty of people in the world who would trade their lot in life for yours.
    count your blessings.
    You're young,excited about dating, virginal, smart and getting an education. You are also aware of your self and actions, have a meal in your stomach and your bills paid! You Have a mom who helps you and both parents - though living apart - who love and cherish you and no doubt want to see their son succeed and find his way in life.

    You sound like a catch!

    Most of that is what you said, but with a positive spin.

    Really, you have so much to look forward to and so much to offer at your youthful age.

    Jump in! you have friends, classmates and family who will offer you support on the times you stumble.
     
  14. Great_guy

    Great_guy Member

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    hey i know how you feel im very shy eventho theres nothing to be shy about
     
  15. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    You are going to college... I don't know an awful lot of students that are "wealthy" unless they are feeding off mom and dad... who will not always be there with the checkbook when college is over.

    You are learning some valuable life lessons that will help you appreciate better things in life, when they come your way .... and they will.

    And some very good points have been made above.

    Nothing at all to be ashamed of to be a virgin at 20. Man! You really should be proud of the fact you didn't lose it with someone that means nothing to you ... wait for THE girl. I know that sounds "old school" but what is wrong with having your first experience with someone that totally rocks your world (not just your cock)??
     
  16. dolfette

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    work hard and in a few short years you'll be able to afford a place you're comfortable in. flings and crushes come and go but your qualifications will be with you for life.

    i don't know what she'll think of you, she might be spoilt & shallow, she might be a saint. either way, if she's smart she'll see you're potential on a stick.

    just keep swimming.
     
  17. HornyToad11

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    There is so much good advice in the replies above. Even the flipant replies have a point.
    Be careful what you wish for. It's natural to want to be in a loving relationship, but there is so much to be said for being alone than with the wrong partner.
    Study hard, eat healthy, take lots of exercise, relax, be yourself and be available.
     
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