The Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Industrialsize, Sep 18, 2009.

  1. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I, ________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:
    I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.
    I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.
    I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls. Also.
    I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

    • Social Security
    • Medicare/Medicaid
    • State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)
    • Police, Fire, and Emergency Services
    • US Postal Service
    • Roads and Highways
    • Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)
    • The US Railway System
    • Public Subways and Metro Systems
    • Public Bus and Lightrail Systems
    • Rest Areas on Highways
    • Sidewalks
    • All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations)
    • Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)
    • Public and State Universities and Colleges
    • Public Primary and Secondary Schools
    • Sesame Street
    • Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children
    • Public Museums
    • Libraries
    • Public Parks and Beaches
    • State and National Parks
    • Public Zoos
    • Unemployment Insurance
    • Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services
    • Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)
    • Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)
    • Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)
    • Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking
    • Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies
    • Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies
    If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care
    I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.
    I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

    • Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History
    • The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments
    • The government-operated Statue of Liberty
    • The Grand Canyon
    • The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials
    • The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery
    • All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC
    I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.
    I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.
    I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.
    I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.
    Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.
    Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.
    SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF __________ IN THE YEAR ___.
    _____________ _________________________
    Signed Printed Name/Town and State
     
  2. B_VinylBoy

    B_VinylBoy New Member

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    Love it! LOL!!
     
  3. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    The more people there be, the more rules there are, the more socialist societies are. California and China come to mind.
     
  4. vince

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    You commie dupe. Ain't no way in hell I'm giving up my Sesame Street!
     
  5. Sergeant_Torpedo

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    Cihina socialist? Get educated, it has been an oligarchy. Always has been and Washington sucks up to it.
     
  6. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Okay, what I mean is more people more rules.
     
  7. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I'm reporting you for misleading posts. There's nothing at all in here about an anti-Socialist teabagger pledging his purity to me. :rolleyes:

    (...and I was so hopeful.) :tongue:
     
  8. Bbucko

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    Would you want him if you had him? Sounds like an complete bore to me :tongue:
     
  9. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    For starters, it'd depend on how nice his "teabag" was. :wink:

    Beyond that, the challenge of corrupting could be fun. :biggrin1:
     
  10. D_Ireonsyd_Colonrinse

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    I can't remember the pseudonym(s) - or nom de plumes - that Starinvestor is posting under these days, but he should get a kick out of this.
     
    #10 D_Ireonsyd_Colonrinse, Sep 18, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2009
  11. houtx48

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    "I can't remember the pseudonym(s) - or nom de plumes - that Starinvestor is posting under these days, but he should get a kick out of this.".......................don't use words that star can't understand because she does not know she is being insulted.
     
  12. dude252007

    dude252007 New Member

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    Is there an alternative to anything that was listed? Where can I drive on a private road to get to where I need? You can't because liberals have made us slaves to medicare, social security, ect and that is what they want to do with health care.

    I would love not to accept social security or medicare when I get that age, just stop taking my money for it.

    I would love to not use USPS but how can I get a letter delivered to a mailbox? You can't because the government has a monopoly on first and second class mail. And anyone in California can tell you just how grand the postal system is here. I think they hand out mail every other Christmas.

    I would love to pay a fee on a private highway but stop charging me a highway tax on gas.

    Public restrooms? I've never seen a government restroom so I'll let that one go.

    My garbage collector is a private company that is included in my rent.

    Last time I looked airlines were private companies and not government. And they are regulated by the government but not regulated enough to prevent people from being trapped on a grounded plan overnight with no bathroom or food.

    Most hospitals and ambulance services are private.

    Public transportation never gets me to where I need to go, which is not the center of a city. And is this the same public transportation where bus drivers text while driving and wreck or the one where the train operator lets a passenger drive or the one where the train drivers sleeps while driving?

    I live in the S.F. bay area and my water and power company are private.

    All transmission lines are privately owned in this country and I pay a tax on the power bill just for that, we all do.

    A military burial is okay so call me a hypocrite :) because they served the nation.

    Unemployment insurance is paid for by the employee and employer and has nothing to do with the federal government.

    Why have you not included the levees in New Orleans that are run by the government. And before you scream Bush (although we can both agree to hate Bush) the army corp of engineers has controlled those levees since their inception.

    Why have you not included the VA hospitals since we all know just how fantastic conditions in army hospitals can be...NOT!!!

    You have not included those because they are examples of where the government has failed.

    Why don't you not eat meat, not wear clothes, not go anywhere except for walking, and live in a mud house since everything you do in modern life is harmful to the earth? Because you can't because they system is set up to force even someone who disagrees with oil to use oil just like someone who does not support farm subsidies is forced to buy a cotton shirt. The point is to be careful throwing the hypocrite label out there because there are two sides to every coin.
     
    #12 dude252007, Sep 19, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2009
  13. midlifebear

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    I might sign that pledge if you throw in a patriot decoder ring and a secret handshake. :smile:
     
  14. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    If you don't make the pledge then you're a commie bastard.
     
  15. justmeincal

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    Crap, I didn't know I was a commie bastard. Thanks for making my day :mad:
     
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