This is a reconstruction from memory of my original reply, which has
apparently gone to limbo.
I agree with everyone who said that the term doesn't necessarily have a
negative connotation.
...If there is anything negative about the label, it the sexist assumption that the catcher is inherently less masculine than the pitcher. This is a spurious argument that suggests an overload of self-loathing and inward-turned homophobia...
I agree. Whenever I hear people talking about tops and bottoms, I
notice this hint of disdain for bottoms. People to think of bottoms as
inferior for taking the "passive" (i.e., feminine) role. If talking
about a couple and not just a casual encounter, there's often the
assumption (sometimes true, often not) that the top is dominant in the
relationship, that he's in control, the "boss," as if the bottom were
"owned" by the top the way a woman was once considered to be the
property of her husband. Bottoms, I think, are a little bit looked down
upon because they appear to be choosing the inferior role that women had no choice about. Given these attitudes, it's amazing to me how many men are able to be proud, happy, self-confident bottoms.
I'm a top by default, but there's a bottom in my dying to get out. I
think a lot of tops are uptight and in desperate need of a good fucking.
Their attitude about being penetrated is much like that of a straight
guy: uh-uh, no way, ain't nothing going up there, nothing's going in
the out hole (etc., etc.). The use of terms such as "shit hole" and
"poop chute" suggest a level of disgust at the idea of being anally
penetrated. I can almost understand this among straight people, but
among gay men it seems hypocritical. Why is it OK to fuck some other
guy's "poop chute" but no thing will ever go in or near yours?
I also think a lot of tops are afraid of losing control. They've
probably seen pornos where the bottom lets go of all shame or modesty
and moan, "oh god,
fuck me" and begs for it harder or faster. Their
pleasure seems almost blissful, ecstatic, trascendent. That implies a
degree of nakedness that goes beyond merely taking one's clothes off to
being truly exposed, and emotionally vulnerable. For many of us, that's
terrifying.
Thus I have tremendous admiration and respect for power bottoms.
This is a bit off-topic, but I'm reminded of a Feri exercise called the
Iron Pentacle, which goes like this:
From sex to pride,
from pride to self,
from self to power,
from power to passion
from passion to sex.
It seems that power bottoms have learned much of what the Iron Pentacle is designed to teach.
You can go here for more information on the Iron Pentacle.
Iron Pentacle
