The term St8 Acting.

D_22

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do you really need to say anything at all? if 90% of gay guys don't fit that stereotype anyway, why do you feel like you need to specify that you don't? :confused:

if a guy's profile described your ideal man, if his picture was hot, but he didn't specify straight acting or masculine, would it honestly make you less likely to reply?

Some people, yes. For some folks, depending on if a guy is masc or fem, it can be a deal breaker.

A guy I was talking to for a while ended it because he was more into fem dudes and felt I was too masculine for his tastes despite being attracted to me.
 

dolfette

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Some people, yes. For some folks, depending on if a guy is masc or fem, it can be a deal breaker.

A guy I was talking to for a while ended it because he was more into fem dudes and felt I was too masculine for his tastes despite being attracted to me.
but surely it should/would be the minority who point out that they are what they are?

like... bdsm. if you're into bdsm then you point it out, because most people aren't. it'd seem a tad defencive to put in your ad, ''i'm not kinky or anything!'', no? what happens in reality is that everyone assumes you're not a perv until you say you are, because that's the probability.

to assume he's femme unless he tells you he's not just says that you're buying into homophobic stereotyping *shrug*
 

D_22

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but surely it should/would be the minority who point out that they are what they are?

like... bdsm. if you're into bdsm then you point it out, because most people aren't. it'd seem a tad defencive to put in your ad, ''i'm not kinky or anything!'', no? what happens in reality is that everyone assumes you're not a perv until you say you are, because that's the probability.

to assume he's femme unless he tells you he's not just says that you're buying into homophobic stereotyping *shrug*

I really don't see how it does. You are what you into, whether it's fem or masc, bdsm or "vanilla sex." If a guy isn't into a guy because he's fem, that's him. He just has a preference to masc guys, it's what makes his loins chipper. There's guys who are very opened that it doesn't matter. In the end, it's all about preference just as long as the person isn't an ass about it. And people stating their preference makes it clear what they're into without wasting other people's times or emotions.

If I'm into a sexual act and I get great pleasure out of it and it's what satisfies me sexually, am I selfish to not want to get involved with someone who refuses to try what satisfies me sexually?
 

Countryguy63

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Some people, yes. For some folks, depending on if a guy is masc or fem, it can be a deal breaker.

A guy I was talking to for a while ended it because he was more into fem dudes and felt I was too masculine for his tastes despite being attracted to me.

Exactly! If someone is publishing a profile in hopes of attracting someone to them, they are going to try describe themselves as thoroughly as they can (at least the honest ones :wink:) so the responder will have the best idea of what they are to expect. Includes body type, interests, personality type, and desires or attractions.
 

fordonfire

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What exactly is "st8" acting? Is that like being a socialist, i.e. a statist? Or is it someone who acts like Oregon, Mississippi or New Hampshire? Or maybe a supercilious orator, stating his opinion nonstop. I don't get it. ??????

seriously, i'm glad someone else noticed this. and i see it all the time, all over the place. its STR8.....not ST8! god forbid anyone type out the full "-aight"
 

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In my opinion: Straight-acting = In the closet.

If you're gay, then you're gay. Call it what it is: Masculine. I'm not, I'm gay and effeminate. My ex is gay and masculine... Other people would categorize him as straight-acting, but by no means would he call himself that.... If he acted straight, he'd fuck girls. He doesn't, he's gay and he's masculine. The end.


In other words, it's a term for guys who aren't comfortable calling themselves gay for fear of receiving stereotype-driven negativity.
 
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JackoffCool

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I don't like the term masculine either. It reeks of macho. I'm not flamboyant but I'm not heavily masculine either.

That's another thing too. Every straight guy isn't always masculine but they aren't flamboyant either. So it wouldn't be that accurate to say masculine. Doesn't the word masculine also kind of say you are either one or the other just as much as people say straight people act one way and gay people act another?
 
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JackoffCool

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seriously, i'm glad someone else noticed this. and i see it all the time, all over the place. its STR8.....not ST8! god forbid anyone type out the full "-aight"

Is it necessary to be a spelling teacher when you understand what were talking about? Offer your opinion instead.
 

rayray

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How about "Masculine Mannerisms"..I see nothing wrong with the term Str8 Acting though..It's just saying he would like to meet up with someone that's not girly...I will use a celebrity that fits girly, Carson Kresley..No offense to anyone..
 

dylz

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That's another thing too. Every straight guy isn't always masculine but they aren't flamboyant either. So it wouldn't be that accurate to say masculine. Doesn't the word masculine also kind of say you are either one or the other just as much as people say straight people act one way and gay people act another?

when people ask me if i am 'masc or fem' i tell them i am neither, which i think is true. people often forget there are shades of gray. (obviously saying 'straight acting' would not make sense, since as you have said there are plenty of straight guys all over the spectrum too.)
 

Countryguy63

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In my opinion: Straight-acting = In the closet.

If you're gay, then you're gay. Call it what it is: Masculine. I'm not, I'm gay and effeminate. My ex is gay and masculine... Other people would categorize him as straight-acting, but by no means would he call himself that.... If he acted straight, he'd fuck girls. He doesn't, he's gay and he's masculine. The end.


In other words, it's a term for guys who aren't comfortable calling themselves gay for fear of receiving stereotype-driven negativity.

I don't think so myself. It's very common to see "Str8 acting gay guy" or "gay and Str8 acting". Using one word to identify themselves and another to describe their mannerisms/personality.

As we've seen even here, no matter what terminology is used, somebody is going to not care for it :cool:

Technically incorrect? Yep.
Offensive? Nah :smile:
 

JackoffCool

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So if straight acting is offensive, and masculine doesn't cover the spetrum of guys you'd like to date that don't equate to said word, then the only way to say it is "I don't want a feminine guy" but when I see that it looks way more negative than the words st8 acting and masculine.

My brain hurts a little lol
 

rayray

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In my opinion: Straight-acting = In the closet.

If you're gay, then you're gay. Call it what it is: Masculine. I'm not, I'm gay and effeminate. My ex is gay and masculine... Other people would categorize him as straight-acting, but by no means would he call himself that.... If he acted straight, he'd fuck girls. He doesn't, he's gay and he's masculine. The end.


In other words, it's a term for guys who aren't comfortable calling themselves gay for fear of receiving stereotype-driven negativity.

I don't agree with Straight-acting= In the closet. We have found the term has many meanings on a individual basis. There is nothing wrong with a effeminate man period.Yes there are a handful of straight men that are effeminate but not many..A effeminate gay man is someone who obviously wears his sexuality on his sleeve, no gaydar needed. This guys ad was indicating he wanted to meet up with someone who was not obviously gay.Someone here mentioned that there is a gray area, he is right.I am neither masculine or effeminate..I have soft features,but i do not speak with a effeminate voice. I have a good friend who is nice looking and has a lot of masculine characteristics that could pull off wearing a cowboy hat which would look funny on me,lol.So i understand the gray area.
 

erratic

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When I did the online dating thing, I just described the kinds of things I liked doing. I mean, wtf?

Into cycling, camping, rock climbing, cooking, travel.

Then people who were also into those things messaged me. I didn't piss anyone off, promulgate any stereotypes, or use any over-broad terms like "masculine." After all, I know plenty of perfectly feminine women who are into cycling, camping, rock climbing, cooking and travel; and I know plenty of straight guys who aren't into much more than sitting on the couch - not the kind of "str8 acting" I'd be looking for.
 
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colday

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Well there are straight acting and there are flamers and there are some that just fit into a catagory in the middle. To me a straight acting gay guy is someone you would never believe is gay by his actions. Flamers you pretty much can figure out and the ones in the middle you might think are gay but in reality sometimes their not.
 

bostonguy1

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I see 'Straight Acting' as a sham. It's like the guy is putting on a show.
Just say you're masculine or feminine.
 

hrdhatdad

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There are different degrees of masculine. I think it means that you can fly under gaydar without trying. There are many masculine gay guys whom I identify as gay within the first 2 minutes (not that there is anything wrong with that). Just as gay men struggle to find the gay in me (so I'm told).
 

rayray

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There are different degrees of masculine. I think it means that you can fly under gaydar without trying. There are many masculine gay guys whom I identify as gay within the first 2 minutes (not that there is anything wrong with that). Just as gay men struggle to find the gay in me (so I'm told).

I agree!
 

OCMuscleJock

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I said exactly what people are saying... Masc. and Femme and some fall smack dab in the middle. Masc will get you in the door...but if you're kinda middle of the road, then that will be where chemistry and attraction will come into play. That's one bad thing about the internet and hooking up on grindr or something. You lose the social aspect of bars and other social gatherings. At least in that situation you can observe the person and their actions before sealing the deal. :) People just do not know how to relate to each other anymore.