The thread of holiday depression

Tattooed Goddess

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Eleven days ago a friend I was helping to move jumped out his seventh floor window. He was depressed over being evicted and having to give up a bunch of furniture and stuff, as the eviction was effective in a few hours. He wasn't a close friend, but we had done a few things together since the summer. He passed away later in the hospital.

My mom also passed away November, 2010. She was 83, so it wasn't a big shock, but very difficult to see her the last days with a heart pump and respirator. My two brothers and father are very supportive.

On the brighter side, December gigs have been plentiful. I had five music jobs last weekend, and four this coming one. January still looks bleak, though.

I am sorry you are having to deal with that, especially sorry for the family he left behind. Suicide is so hard on those who are still living, even those that the person thought didn't care about them. I'm sad to say my brother killed himself in the same way, but not for the same reasons. It really messes with your head to even think about what was their last thoughts.

I've had times I wish I wasn't alive, but never enough to want to be dead. If that makes any sense? I'm sure we all have and if you haven't yet just wait, life can throw you some curve balls you didn't plan for.

::::hugs:::: (ooey gooey girl stuff I know, but I hugged you so I could get the hug ;)
 

TheKeystonePlowboy

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The gifts from those that are gone and those that wish now that you were gone plague my mind during this time. The usual amount of work I do keeps my mind busy during the day. The evenings/nights not so much. FUCK now I need another beer
 

molotovmuffin

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Well, count me in. First Christmas alone ever. Recently divorced, wife is intolerable and I will have my three kids on Christmas Day, but lose all the Christmas Eve and Santa morning traditions this year. Starting over sucks.

It gets easier with time and you and the kids will develop new traditions. Enjoy them regardless.:wink:


I hate Christmas...seriously. Not the baby Jesus part but all the other crap that comes with it. I totally feel inadequate and depressed.
 

OhWiseOne

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We need a LPSG party for those of us with depression - would give us all time to chat in a big group therapy type thing. HOpefully get us through the holiday blues.

Clothing optional of course.
Now I am laughing. LPSG therapy, throw the key away and your clothes. hahaha :biggrin1:
 
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deleted3782

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I can't say that I feel despair this time of year...but I find the traffic, the music, and the expectations very annoying. I try to deal with it by avoiding the negatives and creating some positives around this time of year. For example, I travel...which focuses my mind and attention on the trip rather than the fussy elements of Christmas. I've also started the tradition of having Chinese food with a family member.

For those of you that are having a hard time over the holidays...maybe you could start a new tradition...such as a special kind of dinner with a friend, volunteering in some social service capacity, going on a road trip, camping, building something...seems like there are endless options. In the long run, they get your mind off the associative memories and start building new traditions.
 

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I find that Asian Indian restaurants are full of people who don't want to deal with the traditional holiday celebrations. Since they aren't celebrating them, they are willing to serve a nice dinner for those who are trying to escape the madness.

We went last year for Christmas dinner just the two of us and it was so nice sitting in a nice candlelit environment being served wonderful food rather than being at home cooking it.
 

Countryguy63

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Well, count me in. First Christmas alone ever. Recently divorced, wife is intolerable and I will have my three kids on Christmas Day, but lose all the Christmas Eve and Santa morning traditions this year. Starting over sucks.

I have been exactly where you are (actually was 6 years ago). My condolences and my shoulder or an ear (if you need it) are all I can offer you. I know, I had everybody telling me that it would get better. It would get easier. When you are really close to your kids, that's not necessarily the case. :frown1:

I still struggle with it every year that they are not with me Christmas morning. All you can do is stay strong for your kids. :smile:
 

mickstl

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Another Christmas Day Chinese food refugee here. (Not that I don't love Chinese food, nor eat it regularly.)

The place I go is PACKED on Xmas...it's a huge place and there is still a wait.

Xmas day movies are also an option. Although, most movie theaters are the ninth ring of hell...and also, I don't think I'm going to take my Dad to see "Shame", w/Fassbender flopping around all over the place... LOL
 

concupisys

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the most depressing thing about holiday depression is when you still can't escape the holidays even though you want nothing to do with them.... it seems easier to just drink a whole lot of scotch, choke down dinner and exchange niceties with people under a fog of intoxication than to have family and friends guilt-tripping and arguing with me to get out and spread some cheer....

there is nothing worse than people making me feel bad for feeling bad.... that's MY job....
 
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deleted3782

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the most depressing thing about holiday depression is when you still can't escape the holidays even though you want nothing to do with them.... it seems easier to just drink a whole lot of scotch, choke down dinner and exchange niceties with people under a fog of intoxication than to have family and friends guilt-tripping and arguing with me to get out and spread some cheer....

there is nothing worse than people making me feel bad for feeling bad.... that's MY job....

Heh, I like how you think. :biggrin1:
 

B_jdunhill

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I have another year of trotting dinner into an 'old folks home' to spend time with a grandpa I adore but, who has year over year slowly lost the shine in his eyes...he is wheelchaired now, so even less in the way of options. I bring grub for the nurses and wayward souls there with no family at ALL but....with friends all far afield and no siblings, it makes for a quiet day absolutely devoid of any remotely traditional or conventional Christmasy feel. I had xmas with my friends 2 days ago...thank dog for that, we spoil each other. The next 3 days will be thankfully days off work but not spent with pleasure really. Marijuana when done nights sure helps.
 

SprinkleMe69

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Last year I went through some stuff and wasn't feeling any Christmas. This year, I'm appreciative to be alive. So I pulled myself out of any dark place I was heading. I'm here with my family watching the young ones around me. Loving life. No time for me to feel crappy anymore.
 

Tattooed Goddess

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I have another year of trotting dinner into an 'old folks home' to spend time with a grandpa I adore but, who has year over year slowly lost the shine in his eyes...he is wheelchaired now, so even less in the way of options. I bring grub for the nurses and wayward souls there with no family at ALL but....with friends all far afield and no siblings, it makes for a quiet day absolutely devoid of any remotely traditional or conventional Christmasy feel. I had xmas with my friends 2 days ago...thank dog for that, we spoil each other. The next 3 days will be thankfully days off work but not spent with pleasure really. Marijuana when done nights sure helps.

That's very nice of you to do that. I'll save some green for you. I think I will stay in for tomorrow's dinner with my in-laws. I'm not sure that I've been locked up in the house long enough to even venture that sort of chaos.

Sprinkles definitely has the attitude I need to embrace.