The topic is.... cougars

[naughty]

Wow Just me,

That is such a great attitude.Do you mind me asking if you have kids already? I find that it seems to be harder for people if they wanted kids and the right person didnt come along in time for them to do so. Your attitude was mature and how we all wish we could or do end relationships. Great to have you here.

naughty

 

[D_Stavelay Strappon]

Originally posted by madame_zora@May 7 2005, 01:05 PM
Well, I think this is a fun topic. I would probably differentiate women who try to look their best for the age they are and women who try to look 15 when they're not, ie Janet Jackson.

I'll admit that I recently (last year) underwent a physical overhaul that included losing a lot of weight and re-vamping my personal style to make myself more attractive to potential dates, and just to boost my self-esteem in general. I had not at that time considered dating younger men, but it did happen than I found men of varying ages showing interest. I had two college girls renting space in my house, and they seemed to have fun with me cutting my hair and getting me to try on their clothes, I'm down to one roomie now and she's the more mature acting of the two, so the silly side is less now, but I have a lot of fun sharing time with her and her friends and it's eased the wound of my daughter being gone. I don't date in my younger friends' circles!

My favorite long-term lover was a man who was 53 when I was 26. He seemed to think it was a gas that I was less than half his age, but I was so into him because of his far superior sexual skills that I never gave it a thought. He was attractive to me at the onset, and that only increased over time. It was an open relationship and I was far from his only lover, but I think I was his favorite for a while. We saw each other off and on for about seven years which turned out to be my longest relationship in my life.

Now finding myself at the "cougar" age, I am realising that some younger men might see in me what I saw in him, and that might not be a bad thing. I don't try to look like I'm 25 (not that that's even possible&#33 and I'd never get cosmetic surgery (not that I'm against it, it's just not for me) but I do dress becommingly and am working on adjusting my attitude to include more different types and ages of men, and what a lot of fun that can be! One of the things I find very appealing about younger men is that they haven't had as much time to become soured about life and often have less "issues". I get tired of having to pay the price for every woman who's ever hurt a guy because he hasn't bothered to sort through his own feelings and just dumps on the next unsuspecting woman. I know women do this too, but I'm just sharing my experience. It's nice to meet someone new and get to discuss things other than previous relationship problems for the first three months!

Naughty brings up a good point, women are often discarded as we age in preference of younger women, and while society says on the one hand that it's wrong, the media still enforces the stereotype of youth being the only thing attractive about a woman.
We still feel the feelings of a younger woman despite out age, so I think that if a younger man wants to share time with us and get the benefit of our experience, then why not? They bring a fresh perspective and outlook to us that is often a much needed wake-up call, life moves not backward nor tarries with yesterday. I don't have to act like I'm twenty to enjoy being with someone who is. I would feel awful if a guy felt the need to act 40 to be with me! I think it's incredible when people can just enjoy each other where they are, take the good with the bad, and let it enrich our lives.

Oh yeah, sexually, we're both at our prime, so what's not to like about that? With an older man/younger woman, neither is at their peak so they are more on par as well.
Nature seems to have set the odds at oppostition in so many ways!

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Great post, Madame !

I wish we could get together and I would do my best to give you a new all-time favorite. blush

 

[ItsJustMe]

Originally posted by naughty@May 7 2005, 09:01 PM
Wow Just me,

That is such a great attitude.Do you mind me asking if you have kids already? I find that it seems to be harder for people if they wanted kids and the right person didnt come along in time for them to do so. Your attitude was mature and how we all wish we could or do end relationships. Great to have you here.

naughty

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Awww, thanks Naughty!! No kids, never wanted them, and now I can't have them so it's a moot point. (well, I could have them but would need a surrogate)

 

[jay_too]

I dated a lady about 11 years older than I was [23] for about a year. I was just out of college and had moved to a small town in the south. We met at the gym when I started doing step aerobics rather than run in the deluges/thunderstorms they call rain in the south. We both loved fitness, going dancing in the city, and reading.

She was a successful lawyer and had poise, sarcasm, humor,.....of yea, a great body. Me? well, I was trying to figure how to be an engineer and not go crazy from being separated from family and friends for the first time in my life. So each of us had a professional life and needed the other for the fun things. We broke up when I went back to grad school. We still keep in touch and remain the best of friends.

It remains as the most adult relationship that I have been in.....none of this obsession with where am I and what am I doing?

jay

 

[BobLeeSwagger]

I've dated several women that 10-20 years older than me. In my experience she's more likely to have a problem with the age difference than I am. Not that I blame her for that. If she's not comfortable, she's not comfortable. And that kind of difference in experience and stage of life does create an extra reason for problems, so it's not like her reluctance would be unreasonable. I just think it's kind of an arbitrary limit to place on oneself. It's hard enough to find a happy relationship without reducing your dating pool.

And I have to laugh at the idea of the "Stiffler's mom" character getting any kind of attention. She's a hideous caricature of an older woman.

 

[LongNights]

I was at a bar in Tampa (Ybor) about 3 years back and I met a woman 9 years older than me. At the time, she told me she was 26, I was 22 so I decided to chat with her for a bit. We exchanged numbers and met for lunch the next week. She continued with the 26 routine for about 2 weeks. We fucked a few times and pretty much left the relationship at that. She had some nice fake breasts (probably the best I have seen) and a firm body so I considered myself lucky to be getting some nice tail.

About a month later, we had ended the sexually escapde, she calls me and apologizes and lets me know she was really 31 and that she told me she was 26 to "click" with me a little more. From what I gathered she was into younger men and went the lying route to attain them. To be honest, I didn't see any difference between her being 31 or 26.

I personally didn't care as this was merely for the sex (good sex at that), but hey....tell the truth. Anyone similiar experiences?

-LongNights-

ps - I love older woman (been with a few here and there)....a lot more "exploring" in the bedroom. Most of these 20-23 year olds are the missionary, non-oral, non-anal queens after they see my dick.

 

[BruceSter]

On the mothering side of it, with me and my l/f it's not playing any role at all. We are equals to each other, share the "leading part" in our relationship. Of course there are some jocular elements of mothering involved, but nothing that goes deeper.

I didn't disclose my age to her until our third date, when she stumbled across the fact that she didn't know until then. When I told her, there was a moment of uncertainity though, it was during dinner, and when I said, "Twenty", she didn't reply at first, chewed silently, and after maybe a minute or so she said, "You don't seem like the typical twenty-year old."

From this, I think the official or mathematical age matters less than your mental age (Do I sound like a $5.99-Dale-Carnegie-Sale?). If the partners in a relationship are at about the same mental age, that contributes decisively to the stability of their relationship.

Bruce

BTW... Joan Collins is a woman that even I'd reject to date.

 

[Dr. Dilznick]

Originally posted by jonb
The "mothering" aspect might be a part of it, if you're a psychoanalyst or a total misogynist. (Nobody ever assumes older men with younger women is the "fathering" aspect of it. And certainly nobody ever assumes older men with younger men is the "fathering" aspect.)

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I already have one mother. And I'm not looking for another one. I never understood guys who compare females they're dating to their mothers.