The Trip to Mexico

[oacliffbuddy]

Putting the whole safety issue TOTALLY aside......

As others have alluded to, I think it's wholly unreasonable to plan any destination wedding with ANY expectation that invitees will be able (or even want) to attend.

I think it totally out of line and unreasonable for any attendee that wants to go to get emotionally off balance when their friends or "SO" don't want to (or can't) go. Personally, NONE of my friends are worth me spending $1700 or more (it's ALWAYS more) of my hard earned money on their traditional "festivities" that does nothing to benefit me.

I don't hold weddings (gay or straight) in high regard because they more often than not end in divorce within 2-3 years so what was the point???, and they're usually boring and corny affairs (or so my experience has been). Similarly, I don't hold funerals in high regard either because those events are really all about the living (an opportunity to see and be seen), and less about the quality of the relationship you might have had with the deceased. Unless it's to be a celebration of ones life where everyone has a great time, I find them excruciating exercises that are (IMHO) better left unattended (if you can).

BACK to the issue at hand, I don't see any reason why you should feel obligated to attend, or that you should feel guilty for not wanting to go.

 

[Bimanhung]

I lived in Puerto Vallarta for 18 years. I recently left because of the escalation of violence there. Tourists often only see the shiny side - until it hits them.
It is extremely dangerous there. In recent years I know of stabbings on the beach for money or jewelery, hold ups resulting in shootings, RAMPANT robberies in hotel rooms, drug deals gone bad, and cheap murders for hire. PV is beautiful, but under the pretty tourist-industry postcard images is a society based on graft, bribery, crime, drugs death

 

[SpeedoMike]

Safety First!

 

[novice_btm]

About 5-6 years go, I went to a wedding in Mexico, and admittedly it was great, but that was way before safety issues started springing up, and they started beheading people.

Safety aside, "destination weddings" are an amazingly unfair situation. From the couple, you get, "C'mon, it'll be like a vacation too. It'll be so much fun." Um, not really, it's still a wedding, and you still have a schedule that you have to stick to, with very little free time. Of course, the invites are always sprinkled with guilt, to get you to come. "Don't you wanna be at my wedding? The most important day of my LIFE!!!" In my head, I think, "Well, yeah, I do actually, but I was thinking more of driving across town, giving you the food processor from your registry, and getting to chat with you, telling you how beautiful you look, for the thirty seconds you spend at my table, as you make your rounds." All told, this figures out to a couple hours, not a whole weekend, and $100-$200, tops, not a months wages, and not to mention the hassle of travel, especially when crossing borders. And that's the unfair part. You're right DJG, it's an all expenses paid weekend for THEM, plus there are typically additional perks, thrown in as well. "But we can do a much nicer wedding 'down there', that we could never afford here." True again, but your guests are basically subsidizing that for you by paying jacked-up tourist rates, sold as a "deal", because "we're giving you the wedding discount".

PV is a nice area. I was there 2-3 years ago, the people were wonderful, and I didn't have any problems, but I do know several ex-pats that were living down there, who have since re-pat'ed, because of recent problems and changes.

If they really are "best friends", then they should know that you're unemployed, and understand that in that situation, yeah, "only $1,700" is suddenly a lot of cash, and an entirely legit reason for not being able to go.

 

[BIGDP]

T-shirt slogan: "My parents went to Mexico and all I got was some guy's severed head wrapped in this lousy T-shirt."

 

[novice_btm]

:rofl: Ok, now that's sick, but FUNNY!

T-shirt slogan: "My parents went to Mexico and all I got was some guy's severed head wrapped in this lousy T-shirt."

 

[arthur]

The issue about mexico aside, and yes I agree with you I wouldn't go...but at a base level I think it's rude for anyone to invite you to any 'celebration' gathering and expect you to foot any part of the bill. If they felt it was so important for you to be there they would have chosen a more convenient location that was more thoughtful to their intended invitees...

...and I have had had first hand experience with my brother who decided to give in and throw his wedding for my rather pushy sister in law in of all places Hawaii... charming as it is, it's one hell of a flight ticket and hotel from the UK...I declined.

Personally I think it's rude to even invite guests to a simple birthday to a restaurant without footing the bill. Basic manners.

100% with you on this one kid...tell em to bugger off...;-)

 

[D_N Flay Table]

So here we go again, the brides mom assures me that it is safe... whew.. I feel so much better.
Fuck this shit.
Time to put the foot down.

 

[sdbg]

A few years back, a couple I knew was planning a wedding in Tahiti. I didn't have the cash to go nor the room on my credit cards. I sure as hell was not going to go deeper into debt for someone's wedding. What would have been wrong with getting married in the home town and then going to Tahiti on a honeymoon?

I hate weddings anyway, so I have a predictably cynical response. Screw Mexico. If they wanted you at the wedding bad enough, they should have had the wedding in the U.S. Your GF should understand.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Time to put the foot down.

I thought you did.

 

[B_subgirrl]

So here we go again, the brides mom assures me that it is safe... whew.. I feel so much better.
Fuck this shit.
Time to put the foot down.

Safe or unsafe - $1700! Say no!

 

[yomrwhite]

Tell your boss to make up some bullshit convention you have to go to at the time of the wedding

Or just say fuck you. i didnt read the thread, but if this is just a GF, not a fiance, and you end up breaking up? fuck her

 

[novice_btm]

I agree with all the above. It's not about Mexico, it's about the hassle and expense of an away wedding, and when you're not feeling financially secure, $1,700 = NO!

 

[hung15us]

I go into Mexico at least twice a week and been doing it for 6 years. The only killings are with the drug trade. The Mexico people are great. I would rather drive in Mexico than most USA states. Don't believe what you hear as they haven't seen but heard it 5th hand. There are more killings in the USA than Mexico that you never hear of.

 

[CUBE]

DJG, I can't remember... why aren't you with a rich woman again who takes care of the bills?

 

[D_N Flay Table]

DJG, I can't remember... why aren't you with a rich woman again who takes care of the bills?

That is a very good question... I need someone to support my life of leisure.

 

[CUBE]

very cute straight guy...just saying

 

[DasLeezard]

I got an idea. Instead of paying $1700 for that, just give ME $1700, I'll kick you in the nuts. That way you still get the experience of going to Mexico, and nobody dies.

 

[pablovian]

At least the resort has enough brains to tell you to not leave it's confines. But I totally agree with you, why go somewhere (on vacation) when you can't go out exploring the land. Even if someone paid my way to go to Mexico I wouldn't go. Tell your girlfriend to do some research and get over it.

 

[CUBE]

You go, she goes missing, you are in the news for all the wrong reasons...don't you people watch the news?