The venting about gym creeps thread

[Nito Cogin]

Honestly tho. A shame, too. Curious if this creep/towel dance feedback loop happens outside the U.S. in more sexually liberal/nonpuritanical parts of the world

In Berlin we shower openly and I have never seen a perv hanging around the locker room, probably because public nudity is so common here. However upon occasion I see a towel dancer and it is game to go over and ask them what part of America they are from.

 

[persiandude]

I stopped going to the gym 20 years ago, because:
a) My workout routine requires me moving fast and calculated from station to station, and I don't want to wait on other people to get off the rack/machine, which delays my sets.
b) I have a gym at home, and find it a peaceful time to myself to workout alone
c) There are too many distractions at the gym, be it the guy taking off his shirt posing in the mirror next to me or Judge Judy blasting at the treadmill station
d) The small talk/lingerers who chat you up as if you had nothing better to do. I realize to some the gym is a great place to meet people but for me it's the opposite--I don't want interaction.
e) Had my stuff stolen twice.
f) Can't help but notice people working out incorrectly and I get frustrated watching it.

As far as creeps go, people staring at you while you workout--happens all the time. But how do you know if they are creeping, or just admiring, or watching how it's done, or what have you. I'd prefer not to know.

 

[Anyjoe]

Honestly tho. A shame, too. Curious if this creep/towel dance feedback loop happens outside the U.S. in more sexually liberal/nonpuritanical parts of the world

In Berlin we shower openly and I have never seen a perv hanging around the locker room, probably because public nudity is so common here. However upon occasion I see a towel dancer and it is game to go over and ask them what part of America they are from.

Berlin is just one more example of how UPTIGHT Americans are about nudity.

 

[someperson]

I agree. That comment was totally uncalled for. Young guys think the body they have now will last forever, but it doesn't! Slowing metabolism, loss of muscle mass and gravity are inevitable for EVERY guy as they get older. He will see.

take a look at Arnold he looks like a old women

 

[someperson]

you know I can bench press over 690 billion nanograms.

 

[fitmusclehairy]

I think all of us here has a point, and no one is wrong or right. It depends on the decency you have.
I don't mind being checked out. It always happens. And it's ok. But when it gets too much, I don't.

I have a creepy story that I told in here a few years ago.

There was this guy who I used to see at the gym. He used to look at me anytime he thought I wasn't looking, in the fitness area and in the locker rooms. Once I entered in the locker room after my work out, I got naked, I knew he was watching and admiring in a creepy way. He said something about how in shape I was, I said "Thank you", grabbed my towel and my shower gel and I hit the shower.
I still remember that I left my t-shirt, my pants, my socks and my undies on my gym bag that was on the bench, I still remember the exact position they were on that bag. When I was done and got back to my bag to dress me, I saw that my undies were in a different position all crumpeled on the floor. I never knew what happened but I knoow deep inside that he has something to do about it...

Would you all believe that a similar thing happened to me repeatedly, but worse, in a corporate gym? I used to work at a prestigious company with their own deluxe gym on campus. There used to be a gay-acting Filipino guy, who, every time he was in there, would stare at me in the locker room and try to initiate conversation. Of course, I ignored him. Not my type at all. Since it was a corporate gym, the majority of employees just left their lockers unlocked (sometimes even their gym bag on the bench or floor); I mean, we only had honest, decent people there in such a place, right? When I would go to shower, I would leave my dirty, smelly, sweaty underwear in the locker (unlocked) along with my other clothes. On SEVERAL occasions, I would return from the shower and look for the old (sweaty) pair as I was packing up to leave, only never to find them! They must have been stolen, probably by that Filipino perv or one of his cohorts. I mean, who does that? Just steals another person's belongings (and he should have known better because he worked at a prestigious firm). It didn't matter whether it was a newish pair, or an old, ratty pair with holes in it, it was always a target for theft. This pissed me off to the point where I had to start locking up my clothes when I took a shower. What a waste of time and bother in a corporate environment where that sort of thing shouldn't happen. I guess the guy got off inhaling the smell....

 

[deleted37010]

Would you all believe that a similar thing happened to me repeatedly, but worse, in a corporate gym? I used to work at a prestigious company with their own deluxe gym on campus. There used to be a gay-acting Filipino guy, who, every time he was in there, would stare at me in the locker room and try to initiate conversation. Of course, I ignored him. Not my type at all. Since it was a corporate gym, the majority of employees just left their lockers unlocked (sometimes even their gym bag on the bench or floor); I mean, we only had honest, decent people there in such a place, right? When I would go to shower, I would leave my dirty, smelly, sweaty underwear in the locker (unlocked) along with my other clothes. On SEVERAL occasions, I would return from the shower and look for the old (sweaty) pair as I was packing up to leave, only never to find them! They must have been stolen, probably by that Filipino perv or one of his cohorts. I mean, who does that? Just steals another person's belongings (and he should have known better because he worked at a prestigious firm). It didn't matter whether it was a newish pair, or an old, ratty pair with holes in it, it was always a target for theft. This pissed me off to the point where I had to start locking up my clothes when I took a shower. What a waste of time and bother in a corporate environment where that sort of thing shouldn't happen. I guess the guy got off inhaling the smell....

your post doesn't make him look like an asshole... but your presumptions and biases (underlined)... make you look like an asshole

 

[Chrysippus]

Here's an article that might help with troubling perceptions of pervs, creeps, and distraction at the gym:
https://serenityinthegarden.blogspot.com/2011/07/personal-space-and-privacy-japanese-vs.html
The way to get privacy and freedom from distraction is perceptually, to block other people out the way the Japanese do.
Being creeped out or getting distracted is your reaction to a given situation rather than the situation itself: Epictetus said it is not things that disturb men, but how men think about those things. Stop the reactive self, the source of worry, anger, fear, and sadness. It takes discipline, and you may later want to inventory yourself about why and under what circumstances the reactive self causes you pain and discomfort. Recognize your triggers and freeze-frame yourself before you react and get upset.

Look, you're not going to have much luck changing the other fella. Again, Epictetus said somethings we can control, others we can't, implicitly concluding we must be smart enough to know the difference and move on the best we can.

 

[Mister2101]

I guess I am a little confused. If someone is hanging out, following you around, leering at you or just making you uncomfortable...why don't you just go up to him in private and ask him what he is doing. Tell that you do not know what his problem is, that you want nothing to do with him and that his behavior is inappropriate. If he continues, tell him you will report him to the ownership. And move on.

My bet, he will disappear after that.

 

[Chrysippus]

why don't you just go up to him in private and ask him what he is doing.

Yes! so why would people not do this and keep complaining in this thread? Certainly makes me wonder about the righteously creeped-out...

 

[Sexromasex]

I guess I am a little confused. If someone is hanging out, following you around, leering at you or just making you uncomfortable...why don't you just go up to him in private and ask him what he is doing. Tell that you do not know what his problem is, that you want nothing to do with him and that his behavior is inappropriate. If he continues, tell him you will report him to the ownership. And move on.

My bet, he will disappear after that.

I could tell you I've chosen to ignore a persistent man that a couple of days ago first started waking himself in the showers as soon as he had seen me exiting from the cubicle and drying off, then moved his bag from one locker to another just to be near me then he moved back and forth naked just to allow me to see and hoping to catch my eye (by the way, I wear glasses, clearly I remove them before showering, so all of his activities inside the shower stall are negligible to me).

I was very near to confront him and telling that, when it's no it's no and he should not insist. But I prefer to avoid because pretty surely his reaction would have been that I have misinterpreted things, that malice it's in my eyes and so on. I don't think that an exhibitionist like him, horny and really wanting to have sex, would have simply accepted my protests.

So, as long as I can survive to this, I prefer to ignore, the only person that I notify is my boyfriend.

Clearly, should he or someone else moves a step further touching my body, I'd let him taste all of my 205 pounds against him, but probably not in the way he could enjoy.

 

[Chrysippus]

I could tell you I've chosen to ignore a persistent man that a couple of days ago first started waking himself in the showers as soon as he had seen me exiting from the cubicle and drying off, then moved his bag from one locker to another just to be near me then he moved back and forth naked just to allow me to see and hoping to catch my eye (by the way, I wear glasses, clearly I remove them before showering, so all of his activities inside the shower stall are negligible to me).

I was very near to confront him and telling that, when it's no it's no and he should not insist. But I prefer to avoid because pretty surely his reaction would have been that I have misinterpreted things, that malice it's in my eyes and so on. I don't think that an exhibitionist like him, horny and really wanting to have sex, would have simply accepted my protests.

So, as long as I can survive to this, I prefer to ignore, the only person that I notify is my boyfriend.

Clearly, should he or someone else moves a step further touching my body, I'd let him taste all of my 205 pounds against him, but probably not in the way he could enjoy.

Refusal to take action, one way or another (like reporting the man to management) is enabling him or encouraging him; ask yourself 'Why do I do this?' The problem is yours, not his.

 

[Mike hung]

I may be straight but I'm also open minded and an easy going kinda guy, if a guy checks out my junk in the locker room or showers then that's just fine, I'll even have a bit of banter or a chat about my size.
But those creepy fuckers no, I just give them the look of disapproval and if they got sense they do one. I live in the UK and although I'm a cool headed placid guy I wouldn't think twice about puttin sum creepy weirdo on their ass, ain't nothin t me t bust some scumbags jaw, n that's cos I actually train!

 

[Snarky_succubus]

Glad that you are happy, and thanks for this 'poopie dyper', American English is not my mother tongue so I've learnt something new.

By the way, should you be someday in Rome, Italy, please advice me some time before, so we could continue this discussion face to face and surely one of us will stop laughing. Cheers.

So... bashing someone else's body and then vague threats of physical violence against someone who very gently called out your foul behavior.

If this doesn't reek of "insecure cyber bully who couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag", I don't know what does.
You, sir... have earned the douchebag of the day award. Congratulations! Should you ever be in Atlanta, please advise me beforehand so I can give you your trophy in person. I'll even invite you to my gym so I can show you how to squat heavy.

 

[nailz]

I guess I am a little confused. If someone is hanging out, following you around, leering at you or just making you uncomfortable...why don't you just go up to him in private and ask him what he is doing.

Written from a completely male perspective.

 

[Mister2101]

Written from a completely male perspective.

Yes--completely. I'm sorry if I offended you. That was not my intent. A totally different situation when a woman is being watched, leered at or harassed by a man in any way.

 

[Sexromasex]

Refusal to take action, one way or another (like reporting the man to management) is enabling him or encouraging him; ask yourself 'Why do I do this?' The problem is yours, not his.

I don't have any problem: if I had to take action for every man that has shown me interest in the past, I would have done this for life.

Also, I understand that being rejected is something common for gay man, I am gay too, so I prefer doing this silently in the given circumstances.

 

[Chrysippus]

I don't have any problem: if I had to take action for every man that has shown me interest in the past, I would have done this for life.

Also, I understand that being rejected is something common for gay man, I am gay too, so I prefer doing this silently in the given circumstances.

Capisco.

 

[Arms-length]

I would love to be admired and watched in the gym. I'd be proud that someone from nds me so attractive they can't stop looking at me. Shit I'm invisible now if a lot of you guys who scoff at it were me you'd appreciate the looks.

 

[chadstallion]

I would love to be admired and watched in the gym. I'd be proud that someone from nds me so attractive they can't stop looking at me. Shit I'm invisible now if a lot of you guys who scoff at it were me you'd appreciate the looks.

my thoughts exactly. I spend hours at the gym getting in the best shape I can. I'll take admiration from anyone!