The War on Cobra

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Pumperthumper, Nov 11, 2006.

  1. Pumperthumper

    Pumperthumper New Member

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    EL CULO GRANDE, Mexico (Reuters) – Dozens of Mexican citizens have been slain, and the village of El Culo Grande lies in partial ruin after the attempted targeted killing of a Cobra weapons maker by G.I. Joe forces belonging to the United States.

    The death toll from the G.I. Joe operation currently stands at 43, but government rescuers estimate that up to another dozen may be buried in the rubble. Among the dead so far are 12 women and 31 children. Nearly 200 people were also injured in the blasts.

    The village also suffered the loss of several important buildings, among them the El Culo Grande Sombrero Factory which provided employment to a third of the village.

    It is unknown whether the Cobra weapons maker is still alive.

    The Mexican government has strongly condemned the US operation as a breach of its sovereignty and of international law. Other Latin American nations have also voiced their protests, but Washington remains adamant that the operation was vital to global security and the war on Cobra.

    “We can’t allow Cobra to develop an orbiting laser platform,” said a G.I. Joe spokeswoman known only as Lady Jaye. “For Cobra to have that kind of capability would present an existential crisis to the United States and the world.”

    Cobra High Command was unavailable for comment, though a Cobra website lamented G.I. Joe’s excessive use of force and promised to get them next time.

    This incident follows on the heels of repeated clashes between G.I. Joe and Cobra, often at one week intervals. Over 1300 civilians from Australia to Zimbabwe have been killed in G.I. Joe and Cobra fighting this year.

    America resolve and political capital for combating Cobra across the globe remains strong after the 8/11 Rushmore Incident when Cobra terrorists used laser cannons to carve a phallus into the treasured national monument located in South Dakota.
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Well, heck, Pumper, and all along I thought that was the new Bill Clinton sculpture.
     
  3. SpeedoGuy

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    Borders, schmorders. G.I. Joe reserves the right to spy on, imprison, torture, or attack anyone the president says is associated with al Cobra.
     
  4. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    You're either with Joe, or YOU'RE A COBRA TERRORIST!
     
  5. Matthew

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    This sounds exciting! I'm headed for El Culo Grande. Think there'll be enough room for me?
     
  6. Gillette

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    They'd better find out soon. Knowing is half the battle.
     
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