The whole urinal "thing"

[B_henry miller]

I've noticed that a fascination with the urinal thing is a recurring theme on this forum. I just posted this blog about a recent experience: http://www.lpsg.org/blogs/henry+miller/cute-urinal-experience-5547/

Does anyone have any thoughts on why this is such a fascinating thing for so many of us? For me, there seems to be something interesting about "eroticism" vs "funcationality." What I mean is: the penis is not always sexual, and exposing one's penis isn't always sexual. When we have to urinate, it generally is not an erotic experience.

I'm not explaining this very well. But basically there is, oddly, something erotic about it being non-erotic. Example. I remember reading a while ago that one thing gay men love about the Deux du Stade calendars is that the guys are so comfortable being naked together. But the reason the guys are so comfortable to be naked together is because it's no big deal for them to be naked together. It's so ironic that gay and bisexual men find it sexually arousing that being naked together is "no big deal" to the rugby players.

 

[joeweekend]

Non-erotic erotic. Right. Must be some kinda feedback loop or something.

 

[B_henry miller]

I said it is "erotic" for gay/bisexual men that it is "non-erotic" for straight men. (Gay and bisexual men are often excluded from male-only non-erotic situations, such as sports, which makes these things that much more interesting.) Really not too hard to follow that logic.

Sorry. I forgot that this place can be extremely anti-intellectual.

 

[HeBop]

Well straight men probably find it erotic to be naked around women. So it's only natural that bi and gay men might find it erotic to be around naked men. We are sexually attracted to men so seeing some guy you think is cute naked or in this case with his dick out peeing might be a bit exciting.

 

[erratic]

While I can't find anything in public bathrooms erotic, I'm pretty sure I feel what you're getting at. Seeing guys naked - naked just cause, not because they're doing anything sexual - is in it's own way pretty hot. Not hot in any way that would make me fap one out right there, or get all leery and pervy, but hot in an artful kind of way.

 

[sdbg]

I've had a preoccupation with urinals since puberty. I was pee shy from my teen years on and always used the stalls if anyone else was in the mens room. I envied guys who could walk up to the urinal, unzip, and pee regardless of how crowded the bathroom was. Eventually, I could use a urinal if there wasn't anyone right next to me. Once the flow started, I was fine. I didn't get over the pee shy thing until I was a mature adult. Using a urinal to me is freedom from the morbid inhibition that plagued me for 30 years. Not all gay guys are predators in public bathrooms. I'm just happy that I can go into a mens room and pee like any other guy when I need to without being hung up.

Side note: Never had an issue with being naked around other guys in a locker room or shower.

 

[B_henry miller]

While I can't find anything in public bathrooms erotic, I'm pretty sure I feel what you're getting at. Seeing guys naked - naked just cause, not because they're doing anything sexual - is in it's own way pretty hot. Not hot in any way that would make me fap one out right there, or get all leery and pervy, but hot in an artful kind of way.

Yes. Finally. Someone "getting" what I'm saying.

The fact that this nudity is "no big deal" between straight men, somehow is arousing to us gay and bisexual men.

Maybe it has something to do with this: straight men don't see each other as sexual objects, obviously. Maybe this allows straight men to be supportive of each other, or non-judgmental of each other, in a way that bisexual and gay men can't.

Just a theory, guys. Just thinking out loud. If you don't agree with me, there is no reason to jump all over me.

(I remember reading that an erotic photographer said it was easier to work with straight male models than gay male models, because for the straight male models getting naked on camera was "just a job," but the gay male models saw it as "an extension of their sexuality.")

 

[erratic]

I think it can be no big deal among queer men to. I mean, when I go to clothing optional beaches I'm personally no there to cruise or anything. I rarely get hard because I'm just there in the sun to enjoy the day. There's no confusion of nudity with queerness for me - though nudity is easily as politicised as queerness, and I can see how they become enmeshed. Whether I'm naked with straight or gay friends it's just nudity.

Sorry to go off the track a bit.

Perhaps art can serve as an illustrative example for you, Henry Miller. I think people who are not attracted to men can appreciate the beauty of the Diskos Thrower. It's a classic statue with classic qualities fashioned with great artistry. It's not erotic art, per se; however, it's easy to see how people attracted to men could find it erotic - and the fact that it's not meant to be erotic makes it all the sexier. Like hot nerds who don't know they're hot.

 

[Mule]

I think there is another element that you haven't addressed fully: That we are usually culturally conditioned from childhood that bathroom functions are private. The resultant effect is shyness. I think it's less about exposing one's penis and more about performing the act of urination. This is borne out by your guy's willingness to get it out and inability to actually go.

 

[justmeincal]

I think there is another element that you haven't addressed fully: That we are usually culturally conditioned from childhood that bathroom functions are private. The resultant effect is shyness. I think it's less about exposing one's penis and more about performing the act of urination. This is borne out by your guy's willingness to get it out and inability to actually go.

That actually makes sense. I never thought of it that way.

 

[B_henry miller]

I think there is another element that you haven't addressed fully: That we are usually culturally conditioned from childhood that bathroom functions are private. The resultant effect is shyness. I think it's less about exposing one's penis and more about performing the act of urination. This is borne out by your guy's willingness to get it out and inability to actually go.

Good point. To me, the "exposing" oneself is the biggest part. So, I couldn't understand why, after getting his penis out, he couldn't go to the bathroom.

 

[Denverbearmark]

I get bouts of pee shyness every once in a while still now, much less frequently then I use too. Too me it is almost more of an performance anxiety thing, if I get worried that I may get pee shy, I tend to get pee shy. Also if someone is talking with me, I might get pee shy--although this may have more to do with social conditioning.

It is similar with me with erection issues. I belong to a bdsm club that does demos. The couple times I have been the sub in a demo, I tend not get an erection. I worry about it, and don't get one. Now all of these guys have seen me naked numerous times, have seen crazy things being done to me, and me doing crazy things to others, but it is worried about the "performance" of the demo that gets me.

I find it funny for myself, because I am bit of exhibitionist and I like watersports, so to get pee shy and not be able to get an erection in this circumstance seem at odds, but there it is.

 

[Captain Elephant]

Strange, I never was pee shy or hesitant about undressing in a locker room. But because of that lack of shyness I was teased quite a bit in high school, especially when I was younger. It still never made me want to stop. It made me want to make the teasers stop, but I guess I never thought about not undressing as a solution. Kind of silly when you think of it now.

 

[B_henry miller]

People teased you about NOT being shy? How weird. Children will tease about ANYTHING, won't they?

 

[runningwoof]

I find that a man pissing while standing is very hot. It is a very masculine act and I am attracted to very masculine men. Certain men stand a certain way when pissing that really just hits my buttons. It is a fetish of mine.

 

[Pecker Check]

Denver, I don't understand the reference. What is a bdsm demo?

 

[Bbucko]

Denver, I don't understand the reference. What is a bdsm demo?

BDSM= Bondage/Discipline Sado/Masochism

It's shorthand for what I prefer to call "extreme" sex: ie non-vanilla/fetish. It can include anything from sensory deprivation (masks, blindfolds, etc) to asphyxiation or breath work/play to spanking, paddling, flogging, etc. It also includes water sports (WS: incorporating piss into sex), humiliation/control, fisting, etc. This is no means even a rudimentary partial list, just a flavor and sense.

BDSM can be practiced either as a "lone wolf" or, more likely, as part of a club or group. The vocabulary is evolving, but at the core you have Dom(me)s who are dominant and subs (no capitalization) who are submissive; within relationships these roles become Sir/Mistress for Dom(me)s and boy/boi for subs. Sometimes these are called Master/slave relationships, though those designations are usually reserved for either the most extreme forms of play or for a 24/7 "lifestyle" where their entire lives are structured around those roles.

BDSM culture is usually very hierarchical, ornately structured and is all about elaborate protocols of respect and deference (for both Dom(me)s and subs) almost as much as it's about the actual sex.

The clubs frequently (generally) feature demos (demonstrations) of various types of play: 95% of the ones I've seen involve bondage, flogging and the use of hot wax. That's what Denver was referring to.

As to the topic:

Before I got involved in WS I was extremely pee-shy and hated urinals, frequently holding it until a stall became available. As curious as I may or may not have been, when forced to use a urinal would always look down or straight ahead. Though I practice WS now (99.9% as a top: I'm highly capricious about whom I'll accept piss from, where and when), I still find nothing even vaguely erotic about public restrooms in general or urinals specifically.

I was definitely in my early 20s (if not before) when I unhooked nudity and sexuality. To me, it's just not arousing unless I'm touching and being touched.

 

[tommasters]

for me, the whole fascination about checking out guys at the urinal is because it's exciting for me to see guys' cocks that i would never see in any other setting. especially with straight guys, where else can you get to see another guy's manhood exposed other than in a public bathroom at a urinal without dividers? even at the gym, some guys still cover up with a towel and you can't see them. don't get me wrong-- i like the gym too, but the urinal allows me to see men's cocks that i'd never see otherwise. it has nothing to do with watching them pee as i have no interest in the act of peeing. i just like seeing a nice pecker.

 

[tommasters]

it's also a turn-on to see a man who just puts his hand on his hip and gives you a full view. it shows his confidence.

 

[aqua-illusion]

I think with me, what's erotic about males peeing at a urinal and being able to see his dick is the whole attraction factor.

Males basically have one sexual organ or part of their body that is the most sexual, their penis. As a person who obviously is attracted to males (not every male, but ones that catch your eye) being able to see their penis is a turn on. Like someone mentioned before you might not usually have the opportunity to see a man you find attractive naked or be able to see his penis, but in the washroom at a urinal...there's where the penis is exposed.

I find it erotic because as a mans "ultimate" sex object, which is usually hidden/clothed, you get to see it, and know something about him that is usually private...whether he's cut/uncut, long/short, thick/thin, etc. Society deemed it a "private part" for a reason, and to be able to see a man's penis is quite a turn on for me.

That's just my 2 cents...