Exceedingly funny The Wild Wordsmith of Wasilla Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isnt ailing. Three out of these five implements answering machine, fax machine, printer, phone and electric can-opener all dropped dead on me in the past few days. Now something has gone wrong with all three television sets. They will get only Sarah Palin. I can play a kind of Alaskan roulette. Any random channel clicked on by the remote brings up that eager face, with its continuing assaults on the English Lang. There she is with Larry and Matt and just about everyone else but Dr. Phil (so far). If she is not yet on Judge Judy, I suspect it cant be for lack of trying. What have we done to deserve this, this media blitz that the astute Andrea Mitchell has labeled The Victory Tour? I suppose it will be recorded as among political historys ironies that Palin was brought in to help John McCain. I cant blame feminists who might draw amusement from the fact that a woman managed to both cripple the male she was supposed to help while gleaning an almost Elvis-sized following for herself. Mac loses, Sarah wins big-time was the gist of headlines. I feel a little sorry for John. He aimed low and missed. What will ambitious politicos learn from this? That frayed syntax, bungled grammar and run-on sentences that ramble on long after thought has given out completely are a candidates valuable traits? And how much more of all that lies in our future if God points her to those open-a-crack doors she refers to? The ones she resolves to splinter and bulldoze her way through upon glimpsing the opportunities, revealed from on high. What on earth are our underpaid teachers, laboring in the vineyards of education, supposed to tell students about the following sentence, committed by the serial syntax-killer from Wasilla High and gleaned by my colleague Maureen Dowd for preservation for those who ask, How was it she talked? My concern has been the atrocities there in Darfur and the relevance to me with that issue as we spoke about Africa and some of the countries there that were kind of the people succumbing to the dictators and the corruption of some collapsed governments on the continent, the relevance was Alaskas investment in Darfur with some of our permanent fund dollars. And, she concluded, never, ever did I talk about, well, gee, is it a country or a continent, I just dont know about this issue. Its admittedly a rare gift to produce a paragraph in which whole clumps of words could be removed without noticeably affecting the sense, if any. (A cynic might wonder if Wasilla High Schools English and geography departments are draped in black.) (How many contradictory and lying answers about The Empresss New Clothes have you collected? Ive got, so far, only four. Your additional ones welcome.) Matt Lauer asked her about her daughters pregnancy and what went into the decision about how to handle it. Her answer did not contain the words daughter, pregnancy, what to do about it or, in fact, any two consecutive words related to Lauers query. I saw this as a brief clip, so I dont know whether Lauer recovered sufficiently to follow up, or could only sit there, covered in disbelief. If it happens again, Matt, I bequeath you what I heard myself say once to an elusive guest who stiffed me that way: Were you able to hear any part of my question? At the risk of offending, well, you, for example, I worry about just what it is her hollering fans see in her that makes her the ideal choice to deal with the worlds problems: collapsed economies, global warming, hostile enemies and our current and far-flung twin battlefronts, either of which may prove to be the worlds second 30 Years War. Has there been a poll to see if the Sarah-ites are numbered among that baffling 26 percent of our population who, despite everything, still maintain that President George has done a heckuva job? A woman in one of Palins crowds praised her for being a mom like me who thinks the way I do and added, for ill measure, Thats what I want in the White House. Fine, but in what capacity? Do this ladys like-minded folk wonder how, say, Jefferson, Lincoln, the Roosevelts, et al (add your own favorites) managed so well without being soccer moms? Without being whizzes in the kitchen, whipping up moose soufflés? Without executing and wounding wolves from the air and without promoting that sad, threadbare hoax sexual abstinence as the answer to the sizzling loins of the young? (In passing, has anyone observed that hunting animals with high-powered guns could only be defined as sport if both sides were equally armed?) Id love to hear what you think has caused such an alarming number of our fellow Americans to fall into the Sarah Swoon. Could the willingness to crown one who seems to have no first language have anything to do with the oft-lamented fact that we seem to be alone among nations in having made the word intellectual an insult? (And yet and yet we did elect Obama. Surely not despite his brains.) Sorry about all of the foregoing, as if you didnt get enough of the lady every day in every medium but smoke signals. I do not wish her ill. But I also dont wish us ill. I hope she continues to find happiness in Alaska. May I confess that upon first seeing her, I liked her looks? With the sound off, she presents a not uncomely frontal appearance. But now, as the Brits say, Ill be glad to see the back of her.