The Word "female" Is Offensive?

[hornyt2k5]

Hi Ladies of LPSG. Sorry if this is an odd question or if its been asked before (I checked, didn't see it anywhere). Lately I've been seeing posts on social media about how the word "female" is being seen by some women as offensive. I'm relatively certain that this is contextual; the idiot dudebro asking after "a fine female such as yourself" etc, but now it's gotten in my head and my anxiety has a hold of it. I'm hoping to make an appointment at a new doctors' office and would prefer a woman doctor, but I'm worried that when I'm on the phone I'll ask for a "female" doctor and end up offending someone. It's silly, I know, but I'm just hoping someone can help me sort this out so i don't accidentally put my foot in my mouth? Is there terminology I should/shouldn't be using to refer to your gender? Any help is greatly appreciated!

 

[LaFemme]

The way I look at it is this, when you’re referring to the sex of a person, female or male is fine. It’s just not as fine to refer to the sex of a person socially. It should be women and men. Am I offended, no. It’s just better terminology. Asking for a “female” doctor isn’t the ultimate faux pas (you are referring to the sex of the doctor you prefer), but saying “I’d prefer to see a doctor who is a woman” might be a better statement.

 

[MickeyLee]

For true? Unless someone is a Ferengi use of "female" kinda urks me. Cuz the same folk dropping "female" use the word "men" not male.

On a scale of meh to fury? Being called female ranks maybe a meh.6. There are bigger issues to fret over. After body autonomy for women is a non-contested given I'll tackle female/girl.

ETA: asking for a female doctor is normal. You wouldn't ask for a man doctor, you'd ask for a male doctor.

Basic rule. If you would describe a person as male, use female. If you would say man use woman.

ETA 2: what Ms. @LaFemme said. She is a wise female

 

[deleted848353]

As both @LaFemme and @MickeyLee Have said it's perfectly fine to ask for a female doctor.

Personally in a social setting I'm fine with being called female or even her.

 

[hornyt2k5]

Okay, cool. Thanks. That was about what I figured, but once my anxiety gets ahold of stuff like this its "OH FUCK DONT DO THAT OR YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING AND THEY'LL BURN YOU AT THE STAKE!", so I figured I'd ask. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to respond.

 

[deleted848353]

Okay, cool. Thanks. That was about what I figured, but once my anxiety gets ahold of stuff like this its "OH FUCK DONT DO THAT OR YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING AND THEY'LL BURN YOU AT THE STAKE!", so I figured I'd ask. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to respond.

I know all about anxiety so if u need to chat my pm is open

 

[rtg]

+1 to what has already been said.

As long as you don’t refer to women as bitches or similar derogatory names, then it doesn’t bother me

 

[286798]

Basic rule. If you would describe a person as male, use female. If you would say man use woman.

^^This^^

The use of "female" is just a blip on the radar to me. I notice, but barely. The only time I am irritated by it is when I see it used by a man to describe what he finds desirable, i.e. "I'm looking for a quality female". It's irritating to me because it is solely about the sex of the person and removes all human-ness from describing the woman. It smacks of someone who's ONLY looking for a place to park his penis, not someone who's looking for a partner. Hope that makes sense.

ETA- thanks for asking!

 

[AlteredEgo]

Context is key. When using "female" ask yourself if the word is dehumanizing in context. Can your statement be read as objectifying? If you were talking about a guy in the same context, would you say man, or male?

Thanks for being a thoughtful, conscientious person.

 

[hornyt2k5]

For true? Unless someone is a Ferengi use of "female" kinda urks me. Cuz the same folk dropping "female" use the word "men" not male.

On a scale of meh to fury? Being called female ranks maybe a meh.6. There are bigger issues to fret over. After body autonomy for women is a non-contested given I'll tackle female/girl.

ETA: asking for a female doctor is normal. You wouldn't ask for a man doctor, you'd ask for a male doctor.

Basic rule. If you would describe a person as male, use female. If you would say man use woman.

ETA 2: what Ms. @LaFemme said. She is a wise female

That's where I ran into the problem, is I knew I'd say "male doctor" in that context, and then was like "oh shit...but...'female' is...offensive?" I'm really thankful you guys responded. Definitely trying to avoid sounding like a Ferengi!

I know all about anxiety so if u need to chat my pm is open

Thanks. A big part of why I'm asking for a female doctor is I feel more comfortable opening up about my mental health to a woman. Hopefully this is the start of a longer journey to deal with my anxiety. I may take you up on a PM though in the future.

I appreciate the responses here, thanks so much! I was a little nervous about even posting to ask this, I'm glad you guys (gals? all? [oh yikes! another thread?]) are so chill and willing to help. Sometimes its a bit of a minefield out there, I'm forever trying to do better, but it's tricky, so I really appreciate the help. You're all aces!

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Context, context, context.

As others have said, where male is appropriate and not a reach, female is also appropriate.
A female doctor ( to illustrate preference... the massage spa uses “Would you prefer a male or female therapist?” But not as a social group — “what a group of females are at the bar.” Unless you are a cop filling out paperwork. And think on that....incident reports use disconnecting, dehumanizing language.) but not a “lady doctor.”

Tone, tone, tone.
As I mentioned, police reports use male and female, because they need to be dehumanizing and somewhere the style shifted when the use of man for males over 18, any marital status, but girl went into their 50s if single. 30s if married. So stilted, objective language belongs to badly written reports riddled with horrible grammar and spelling.
Damn, my reporter years are showing. The depths of linguistic ignorance were stunning.

anyhoo.... speak of people as people. Male and female are last resort words.

 

[Britney2000]

No one is offended but the pc crowd, which is a tiny percentage. Don't let them dictate. I love being call girl, chick, babe, whatever.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Hey, AE,can any old stranger call you “girl?”


Yanno, girl like boy is VERY culturally loaded.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Hey, AE,can any old stranger call you “girl?”


Yanno, girl like boy is VERY culturally loaded.

Hell no. I was raised by afro-centric feminist hippies. That shit is a pig. Won't fly.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Hell no. I was raised by afro-centric feminist hippies. That shit is a pig. Won't fly.

So, OP, we can assume it is a Very Bad Idea to use girl.
From a feminist POV and it's association with a horrible racial history in the US and other nations.

There's one person who can call me "girl," and only a tiny handful who may use it jokingly.

 

[Holly Doors]

Me personally? I couldn't give two shits whether someone uses the word 'female', it's a descriptive word of the English language. Here in the UK 'male and female' are used all the time especially in law etc, the idea that anyone would be offended actually starts getting my back up Lol.
The term 'lady or ladies' is used all the time here too, to actually use the term 'woman' in your context of asking to see a 'woman' doctor rather than 'female' or 'lady' actually kinda clashes and sounds clumsy and awkward imo. I appreciate you use the language in your own way over there in the states, a language in it's own right when you actually look at American English, but over here 'male and female' are still the terms we would use as an every day thing X

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

It irks me to be called a female. I always think of female as an adjective - like a female dog, or a female goat. And thus, I should be called a female human - and somehow that phrasing sounds very objective.

I prefer the term woman since it’s a noun. However, the dictionary says many people also use the word female as a noun and it’s totally acceptable, so I’ve lost this tiny battle with the English language.

Anyway, if you want to ask for a female doctor - I think that would be ok. At least you are using the word as an adjective.

 

[Violet_Rivers]

The way I look at it is this, when you’re referring to the sex of a person, female or male is fine. It’s just not as fine to refer to the sex of a person socially. It should be women and men. Am I offended, no. It’s just better terminology. Asking for a “female” doctor isn’t the ultimate faux pas (you are referring to the sex of the doctor you prefer), but saying “I’d prefer to see a doctor who is a woman” might be a better statement.

^^ spot on!