The WORST fuckin handjob I have ever seen...period.

Discussion in 'Straight Adult Websites' started by D_Jurgen Klitgaard, May 18, 2008.

  1. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    See for yourself.

    YouPorn.com Lite (BETA) - Porn


    I am at a loss for words...my cock is too. My boner just up and left halfway through. Won't even return my calls. I'm staring at a little chub now, trying to wrap my mind around the fact that that is close to the actual average penis size. It's humbling to say the least.:redface:
     
  2. Jovial

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    It didn't look particularly small to me. She sounded uneducated...whatever that means. How can you give a mean blowjob but not know how to give a hand job? I think they needed lube. And the watch was weighing her hand down. Shouldn't women with nice breasts like that just instinctually know how to handle a cock?
     
  3. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Lol, my thoughts exactly! The watch was distracting, but it actually looked like she had man hands!:rofl: And X2, how can you give a mean blow job, but you handle one like it's a foreign object? Yeah, with those boobs, that's false advertising.:biggrin1: Like the Dave Chappelle joke, "Just because I'm wearing a whore's unifom, that doesn't make me a whore.":rolleyes:

    BTW, I was talking about my cock being a little chub from the vid.:tongue: That guy was actually a decent size, close to me almost from the looks of it. He did seem a little thrown off when he asked if she could take all of it in her mouth and she gave that enthusiastic hell yeah, like she had blown bigger.

    Just a bad vid, I have no idea why anyone would upload that. Youporn blows now, and redtube isn't tickling my fancy like it used to. Lots of foreign vids now with these guys shooting the thing talking way too damn much all the way through. It pisses me off is what it does, I'm sticking with porn hub and youjizz these days.

    Side rant over.:mad:
     
  4. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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  5. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Looks rather painful. She could at least give then balls a good massage and a bit of spit would go a looong way
     
  6. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Thank man, I'll give these a look over!:cool:

    Miss Lee, will you please demonstrate the proper way to give a hand job? On me perhaps? :flirt:
     
  7. ballsaplenty2156

    ballsaplenty2156 New Member

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    She obviously didn't know what feels good for a man. She also should have used some lube.
    I about busted a gut when he asked if she thought she could take "all" of his cock, as if it were larger than life!! He was decent sized for sure, but hardly an instrument of death.
    At least the dude didn't shave off all his pubes. He didn't seem to really get into the stroking either, and she was pretty much as unsexy as could be.
    I love laying back and getting a great handjob, but that sure wasn't it.
    I will admit, I'd love to give Mr.Hardcock a slow, relaxed stroke job. Keep him on edge for maybe an hour or so. Plenty of lube, maybe a vibrator to tickle his balls and asshole with. (Not putting it in there, but just tickling around the hole.) ( maybe some ice as well to keep him throbbing!)
    But he'd have to let that bush grow back in, first.
     
  8. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    :rofl:

    You're always trying to get me!:biggrin1:

    I am letting the bush grow back. I will just trim it a bit from now on and not real short like I have been.
     
  9. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    She was trying to act like she was into it and she so wasn't. He was trying to get her into it by talking sexy but she was just unable to.
     
  10. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Yeah, you're right. She was not into it at all and he was trying to force her to do it.
     
  11. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    Wonder why he thought this video was hot enough to post?
     
  12. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

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    He wanted to show off....and he's a moron.
     
  13. ballsaplenty2156

    ballsaplenty2156 New Member

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    LOL!! Hmmmm.... even if you let it grow back in, I know I don't stand a snowball's chance in hell. Too bad, bro, it would definitely be a fun time for the both of us. :smile: Hell, maybe we could get Stacy1185 to join in and ease your ego a bit. I'll use some silk scarves to tie you spread-eagle to the bed, and while I stroke you to the best damned orgasm you'll ever have, Stacy can sit on your face and let you pleasure her to the best orgasm she's ever gonna have!!
     
  14. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    Edging for an hour? What kind of arms do you think i have?!
     
  15. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

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    :rofl:

    Stacy being there would help, but no promises.:biggrin1:

    You'd have some ripped arms! You'd look hot!:biggrin1:

    Edge me for an hour and I'll make it worth your while.:wink:
     
  16. WifeOfBath

    WifeOfBath New Member

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    i don't think her technique was all that bad, per se, it was that she was obviously not into doing it that made it so bad. they both seemed like they were watching congress vote on which bolts to use on federal fleet vehicles on CNBC or something. I cannot believe that guy had an orgasm because he seemed bored out of his mind. There was zero sexual tension or excitement. I got the feeling that she would have been more interested in reading a grocery list than giving him a handjob.

    But like I said, the actual technique wasn't all that awful.
     
  17. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I'm not wacking off anyone for an hour....i wouldnt expect my husband to work that long to bring me to orgasm. I guess my ADHD gets the best of me and if we arent orgasming in 5 - 10 mins.....i'm whining.
     
  18. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Well how about I give you several orgasms in an hour?
     
  19. brasspin

    brasspin Member

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    My wife gives worse hand jobs than that, and she admits it. She says that's why she learn to suck cock so well, and lets face it, we'd ( guys ) would rather have a chick deep throating us the jerking us off
     

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  20. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

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    I would love to say yes, but after all this flirting your doing in this thread i dont think i can Tex. I like my guys shy :biggrin1:
     
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