There are no fat people in heaven.

Axcess

Experimental Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2007
Posts
1,611
Media
0
Likes
7
Points
123
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I'm a slender guy , so that means that it is my free ticket to enter to heaven .:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:
 

Pecker

Retired Moderator
Joined
Mar 5, 2002
Posts
54,502
Media
0
Likes
301
Points
283
Must have been an article about Jehovah's Witnesses. Aren't they the group that already know exactly 177,000 people will go to heaven. Kinda makes sense that they would all be thin. :tongue::confused:

Um, it's 144,000. Sorry for the 33,000 who'll be disappointed that they dieted for nothing.
 

Damian Johnson

Sexy Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2007
Posts
939
Media
0
Likes
51
Points
103
Location
Clerkenwell, London
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
BMI can be very misleading

If you are beefy or muscly like a rugby player - yet very fit, your BMI rating can be misleading

As for no fat people in heaven - what a nasty crap thought that is - heaven is supposed to be a happy place for nice people - and as long as they are happy, who cares if they are thin, fit or fat?

Surely hell is the place where there should be no fat people - since everyone down there is being punished for being an evil cunt whilst on earth I would image that they are all quite rightly thin, starving and miserable - and serves em right

I like going to the gym every day - but the nicest most genuine people at my gym are the overweight ones - not the peacocks (and im one of the peacocks)
 

snoozan

Experimental Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2006
Posts
3,449
Media
0
Likes
22
Points
183
Sexuality
No Response
Good, I hate fat people. They're like Mexicans but they steal our food instead.

:eek::tongue::biggrin1:

No, no, no. It's all the immigrants. All these immigrants come over here with the pretense of being "on holiday" and try like hell to keep coming back as if they are going to live her. Complete and utter crap. They steal our jobs, burden our health care system, fuck out hot women.... Did I say they fuck our hot women yet?

Oh, gee, thanks! :wink: I get that a lot.

Snoozie, once St Peter sees you in a Master's cap & riding boots, holding a riding crop, he'll forget about your weight and fling wide the pearly gates.

Are you calling me fat!?! I know you are. I'll have you know that it's all your lasagna's fault. And chocolate. And rolls. Oh no, I'm having a foodgasm thinking about you now...

Also... I know how to use that riding crop now, and I'm not afraid to put it to good use, young man. You'll need that Boudreaux's Butt Paste yourself, and you'll have to wear the bib.

You won't see, if I have a blindfold on you. I'll forego the ball gag, so that you can scream "OH GOD OH GOD!"

I think the Boudreaux's Butt Paste bib would be a perfect substitute for the ball gag.

I'll have to think a bit on how to get you the fast track to canonization. If they can expedite for mother theresa......

Agreed, Saint Brother Roux of the Buttpaste Bib sounds rather good.
 

Drifterwood

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Posts
18,677
Media
0
Likes
2,811
Points
333
Location
Greece
I haven't read the whole post and you know that there is nothing more that I would enjoy than you sitting on me and face fucking me with your enormous man-clit, but hey, they built those gates some 2000 years ago for under fed semitic dudes. (and dudesses)
 

crowborne

Just Browsing
Joined
Dec 28, 2007
Posts
31
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
91
Location
Columbus, Indiana
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
At this rate who is going to be up there. No jews, gays, pagans, fat people, people who jack off etc. etc. Hell is going to be one fucking great party.
 

Mem

Sexy Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2006
Posts
7,912
Media
0
Likes
54
Points
183
Location
FL
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Of course, they are too fat and fall thru the clouds.
 

Osiris

Experimental Member
Joined
Jul 22, 2007
Posts
2,666
Media
0
Likes
13
Points
183
Location
Wherever the dolphins are going
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
Perhaps the restaurants are better in hell?

I'll let you know soon. I am waiting on my Zagats Guide to Dining in Hell anyday now.

Too many fra diavolo dishes.

A little too much diavolo, not enough prawns.

I'm a slender guy , so that means that it is my free ticket to enter to heaven .:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:

Sorry mate. I just spoke with a buddy at the FBI, St. Peter just added you to the Terrorist Watch List. Blame our religious president for that one.

we'll start our own heaven, then.

Remember you saw it at LPSG frst. "HICKBOY RUNS FOR GOD!" I'm in. I'd much rather a fun partying God than that fire and brimstone guy some Christians talk about. I kind of have an image of you Hickboy as God from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but with the style of Morgan Freeman as God.

Of course, they are too fat and fall thru the clouds.

Damn engineers, how dare they make the clouds so cheery, fluffy, and without proper weight carriage.