Just a thought, OP - perhaps you should have checked out the site for a while, to see what it was all about, before you joined. It's been around for a long time before you joined. Those who like it, stay and enjoy it the way it is. Those who don't like it, well, they leave.
If you get a PM that you don't like, just roll your eyes and delete it.
It's not too smart to walk into a non-smoker's house, light up a cigar, and demand that the homeowner accomodate you.
We are not responsible for your insecurities. Deal with them.
This is not primarily a hook-up site. There is a section for that. If the PMs bother you that much, you could block all PMs, and use only the personal ads section.