There's a big bust up brewing.

[36DD]

I think everyone just needs a teddy bear!

 

[Willy_the_Wonka]

Genuine Haggis


1 sheep's stomach bag plus the pluck (lights, liver and heart) 1 lb Lean mutton 6 oz Fine oatmeal 8 oz Shredded suet 2 large Onions, chopped Salt and pepper about 1/4 pint beef stock. Soak the stomach bag in salted water overnight. Place the pluck (lights, liver and heart) in a saucepan with the windpipe hanging over the edge. Cover with water and boil for 1 1/2 hours. Impurities will pass out through the windpipe and it is advisable to place a basin under it to catch any drips. Drain well and cool. Remove the windpipe and any gristle or skin. Mince the liver and heart with the mutton. (Add some of the lights before mincing if you wish.) Toast the oatmeal gently until pale golden brown and crisp. Combine with minced mixture, suet and onion. Season well and add sufficient stock to moisten well. Pack into the stomach bag, filling it just over half-full as the stuffing will swell during cooking. Sew up the bag tightly or secure each end with string. Put an upturned plate in the base of a saucepan of boiling water, stand the haggis on this and bring back to the boil. Prick the haggis all over with a large needle to avoid bursting and boil steadily for 3 to 4 hours. Makes 6 to 8 servings.

:bigeyes2::sour::yuck::crazy2:

 

[T-Lex]

I'm seeing the makings of an LPSG cookbook.....maybe even our own Food Network show?

 

[Not_Punny]

Well that sounds depressing, DW.

So I should just pack my gallery and go elsewhere?!

 

[Drifterwood]

Lobster Recipes: Lobster Thermidor

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Lobster Thermidor is a rich dish that is said to have been named by Napoleon after the month in which he first tasted it. Thermidor was the 11th month of the Republican calendar used briefly after the French Revolution. It consists of lobster tail meat that has been cooked and removed from the shell and tossed with a bechamel sauce, then topped with Parmesan cheese and browned in a broiler.

Preparation Time: 1 hour

Servings: 4

To steep the lobsters:

2 1 1/2 to 2 pound lobsters
1/2 cup white vinegar per 8 quarts of water
enough water to completely cover lobsters

• Place lobsters in a stockpot or other heat-proof container with a lid.
• Bring water and vinegar to a rolling boil and then pour over lobsters and cover.
• Let steep for 2 minutes for 1 1/2 pound lobsters and 3 minutes for 2 pound lobsters.
• Remove from the pot with tongs, twist off claws with knuckles attached and return claws to pot for 5 minutes.
  
• Twist off the tails from the body and pull off the flippers from the end of the tail.
• Push the meat out through the large end of the tail. Remove the vein from the center of the tail.
  
• After 5 minutes, remove the claws from the pot and crack open with the back of a knife. Use only enough force to crack the claw and loosen the meat.
  
• Remove the meat from the knuckles. Reserve the tail shells and cut out the thin underside of them with scissors.
  

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bechamel Sauce:[/FONT] (Yields 1 quart)

1 yellow onion, small dice
1 small carrot, peeled and small dice
1 celery rib, small dice
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
4 cups scalded milk
Small bouquet garni
salt
freshly ground white pepper
pinch of nutmeg
pinch of cayenne
3/4 cup heavy cream
2 egg yolks
1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon
1/2 cup grated parmesan

• Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
• Melt butter in a saucepan and saute onion, carrot and celery until translucent.
• Add flour and stir well until flour is completely incorporated.
• Add milk 1/3 at a time, whisking well at each addition.
• Add bouquet garni and dry seasonings, simmer for 15 minutes.
• In a small mixing bowl, whisk together egg yolks and cream.
• Take sauce off of the heat and whisk in cream and yolk combination.
• Rough chop the lobster meat, place in a mixing bowl and toss with half of the hot bechamel.
  
• Place lobster tail shells on a baking sheet or in a casserole dish, spoon mixture into shells and top with remaining bechamel and grated parmesan.
  
  
  
  
• Bake in oven at 425 for 12 minutes or until parmesan is golden brown.

Serve with a chilled but breathed Mersault and ask me to marry you :biggrin1:
[/FONT]

 

[SirNeal8]

I'm seeing the makings of an LPSG cookbook.....maybe even our own Food Network show?

If we start talking about the different ways to cook and serve dick, I am outta here. :wink:

 

[Drifterwood]

Well that sounds depressing, DW.

So I should just pack my gallery and go elsewhere?!

I know, it's a US recipe. We would never use water :smile:

 

[rob_just_rob]

Fish recipes seem very apropos.

 

[simcha]

If we start talking about the different ways to cook and serve dick, I am outta here. :wink:

But cock is soooooo tasty! :tongue:

 

[simcha]

Title: Spotted Dick
Categories: desserts, english
Yield: 6 servings

8 oz self-raising flour
1 pn of salt
4 oz margarine
2 oz castor sugar (superfine)
4 oz to 6 oz sultanas (big
-raisins)
6 tb water

1) Have ready a sheet of foil or a double thickness of grease proof
paper brushed with melted margarine. 2) Make the pudding crust: Sieve
the flour and the salt. Rub in the margarine. Add the sugar and
sultanas. Mix in the water to make a soft dough. 3) Turn out onto a
floured board and form into a roll. 4) Wrap loosely but securely in
the grease proof paper or foil. Tie or seal the ends. 5) Place in the
steamer and cover tightly. Steam for 1.1/2 to 2 hours. 6) Serve with
hot custard sauce or sprinkle with castor sugar. Variation: At stage
3: Put the mixture in a medium-sized (1.1/2 pint) pudding basin with
a round of grease proof paper in the bottom and brush all round
inside with melted margarine. Smooth the top. Cover with foil, or
double grease proof paper brushed underneath with melted margarine
and steam for 1.1/2 to 2 hours. Serve with hot Custard sauce or
sprinkle with castor sugar.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

All these recipes are wrong, any recipe posted here should contain lots of meat

 

[SpeedoGuy]

From the "RoadKill Cafe" recipes:

Raccoon Kabobs
(Also known as "Ringtail Surprise")

Two pounds, reasonably fresh raccoon, cut into one-inch cubes; one-half cup homemade French dressing; two green peppers, cut into squares; one large onion, cut into one-inch pieces; one-third pound mushroom caps.

Place raccoon cubes in a ceramic bowl and pour dressing over cubes. Let marinate two or more hours. Remove cubes, reserving marinade. Alternate raccoon cubes with pepper squares, onion pieces and mushroom caps on skewers. Brush all with reserved marinade and broil over hot coals until done to desired degree. Turn frequently and baste with marinade as needed.

 

[36DD]

I'm seeing the makings of an LPSG cookbook.....maybe even our own Food Network show?

only if we are allowed to serve them on and lick them off that gorgeous guy in your avatar!:tongue:

 

[T-Lex]

only if we are allowed to serve them on and lick them off that gorgeous guy in your avatar!:tongue:

I'd be first in line...but I'd share sloppy seconds with you, 36DD!

 

[Willy_the_Wonka]

Instant Soup, Cock Flavored.

 

[Drifterwood]

All these recipes are wrong, any recipe posted here should contain lots of meat

ELEGANT BEEF WELLINGTON
1 (6 lb.) whole beef tenderloin roast
Butter
1 (17 1/4 oz.) pkg. frozen puff pastry
1 med. sized onion, minced
1 (8 oz.) pkg. mushrooms, finely chopped
1/2 tsp. dried thyme leaves
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
2 tbsp. red wine
1/2 lb. goose or duck liver pate OR 17 oz. can liver pate
1 egg, separated
2 tsp. milk
Bordelaise sauce
Parsley for garnish

(Ask your butcher to trim tenderloin of fat).
(Available at specialty stores).
About 2 hours before serving:
1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. In large oven roasting pan on rack, form tenderloin into ring so that thick end rests on thin end to hold securely. Brush beef with 1 tablespoon melted butter.
Insert meat thermometer into center of tenderloin. Roast tenderloin 40 minutes or until thermometer reaches 120 degrees F (very rare). Remove tenderloin from oven and let stand 30 minutes. Do not turn oven off.
2. Thaw pastry as label directs.
3. Meanwhile, in 10 inch skillet over medium-high heat, in 3 tablespoons hot butter, cook onion until tender. Add mushrooms, thyme, salt, and pepper, and cook, stirring occasionally, until all liquid evaporates. Stir in red wine and cook over medium heat until mixture is dry. Remove skillet from heat; cool slightly.
4. On lightly floured surface, with floured rolling pin, roll 1 sheet puff pastry into 14 x 12 inch rectangle. Place puff pastry sheet on ungreased large cookie sheet. Center partially roasted tenderloin ring on dough. With knife, cut pastry with 1 inch border all around tenderloin.
5. Spread pate evenly over tenderloin; top with mushroom mixture. With pastry brush, brush some egg white on pastry around tenderloin. On lightly floured surface, roll second sheet puff pastry as above; place loosely over tenderloin ring, pressing pastry around base of tenderloin to seal; crimp pastry border to make a pretty edge.
6. In cup, with fork, beat egg yolk with milk; brush top and sides of pastry with egg mixture. Bake Beef Wellington 10 minutes; reduce heat to 375 degrees F; bake 20 minutes longer or until crust is golden. With 2 pancake turners, transfer roast to warm platter. Let stand 15 minutes for easier slicing.
7. Prepare Bordelaise Sauce.
8. To serve, garnish with parsley, cut Beef Wellington into wedges. Serve with Bordelaise Sauce. Makes 10 servings.


BORDELAISE SAUCE:
In heavy 1 quart saucepan over low heat, in 3 tablespoons hot butter, cook 1 tablespoon minced onion until tender. Stir in 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour; cook until lightly browned; add 1 tablespoon chopped parsley, 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme leaves, and 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper. Slowly stir in one 10 1/2 ounce can condensed beef broth (bouillon), 1/2 cup red wine, and 1/4 cup water. Increase heat to medium-high; cook mixture, stirring constantly, until sauce boils and thickens.



Boils and thickens :biggrin1:

 

[DaveyR]

COCK AU VIN

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Coq au Vin Recipe (serve 6)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Step 1: [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A day in advance, clean and cut the rooster/chicken in 8 pieces or more. Pour half a bottle of red Burgundy wine over.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Step 2: Add the small white onions, the quartered peeled carrots and the herbs. Cover and put in the fridge.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Step 3: The next day, remove and drain the chicken and vegetables. Put the wine aside for later use.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Step 4: Brown the chicken pieces with oil in a skillet. Remove the chicken. Using the same skillet, add garlic to the vegetables and heat for a couple of minutes[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Step 5: Put the chicken and the vegetables in a large sauce pan. Pour the wine and add salt and pepper[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Step 6: Bring to a boil at moderate heat.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Step 7: Cover and cook at low heat for 1 or 2 hours[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Step 8: Heat bacon, onion and mushrooms in a skillet until brown (10 minutes)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Step 9: When the chicken is ready, add bacon, onion and mushrooms in the pan, cook and stir for 2 or 3 minutes. Taste and correct the seasoning, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Step 10: Add parsley to the chicken when finish. Prepare rice or potatoes to serve with Coq au vin. [/FONT]

 

[Pecker]

Vomit on Toast


Ingredients:

• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup milk
• Salt
• Pepper
• 1 tablespoon butter
• Tomato, diced
• Cooked carrot, diced
• 2 slices bread

Directions:

• Crack eggs in a bowl. Add milk, salt, and pepper. Beat together.
• Melt butter in a small frying pan and add egg mixture. Stir until you have scrambled eggs.
• Remove from heat. Stir in diced tomato and carrot.
• Toast the bread in a toaster or toaster oven.
• Pour mixture over toast. ENJOY!

 

[B_stanmarsh14]

Genuine Haggis


1 sheep's stomach bag plus the pluck (lights, liver and heart) 1 lb Lean mutton 6 oz Fine oatmeal 8 oz Shredded suet 2 large Onions, chopped Salt and pepper about 1/4 pint beef stock. Soak the stomach bag in salted water overnight. Place the pluck (lights, liver and heart) in a saucepan with the windpipe hanging over the edge. Cover with water and boil for 1 1/2 hours. Impurities will pass out through the windpipe and it is advisable to place a basin under it to catch any drips. Drain well and cool. Remove the windpipe and any gristle or skin. Mince the liver and heart with the mutton. (Add some of the lights before mincing if you wish.) Toast the oatmeal gently until pale golden brown and crisp. Combine with minced mixture, suet and onion. Season well and add sufficient stock to moisten well. Pack into the stomach bag, filling it just over half-full as the stuffing will swell during cooking. Sew up the bag tightly or secure each end with string. Put an upturned plate in the base of a saucepan of boiling water, stand the haggis on this and bring back to the boil. Prick the haggis all over with a large needle to avoid bursting and boil steadily for 3 to 4 hours. Makes 6 to 8 servings.

This is a bugger. Live in the UK (Nottingham), but if you are not in Scotland, you can never seam to find a proper Haggis, and I absolutely love the stuff, just like Black Pudding (Got a good friend who used to work in a slaughter house, and used to be able to get the most fantastic black pudding).

 

[DaveyR]

This is a bugger. Live in the UK (Nottingham), but if you are not in Scotland, you can never seam to find a proper Haggis, and I absolutely love the stuff, just like Black Pudding (Got a good friend who used to work in a slaughter house, and used to be able to get the most fantastic black pudding).

DON'T - You should try getting Haggis in Tenerife I love the stuff. As for black pudding the stuff they make here is sweet and full of almonds