Think I have stage fright

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by Doorstop, Jan 5, 2009.

  1. Doorstop

    Doorstop New Member

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    So, since my introduction I've finally started a relationship with someone I've been chasing down for close on 3 years now. I spent 2 weeks with her on a holiday and things progressed physically very quickly. We haven't had sex, we're going to wait a bit longer. :)

    I have a big problem though. When things are getting a bit hot and heavy in the bedroom, I can't get an erection. It simply does not happen. Last night this turned into a problem because she thinks she doesn't do it for me, which is far from the truth. I don't know what to do! :frown1:

    Physically, I don't think there's anything wrong with me. If I'm looking at porn, I get an erection quite quickly. As I said in my intro, they aren't 100% hard and I don't get morning wood, is this a physical problem? When I'm with her, there is no erection whatsoever. The only time I managed to get quite hard was when I pretty much masturbated myself to that point. This is really embarrassing. :frown1:

    Has masturbating up until now, and looking at porn for a long time, given me a mental block? Should I see someone? Please help. :(
     
  2. EL_Duderino

    EL_Duderino New Member

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    maybe quit looking at the porn and stroking it for a while. if a build up of a couple of days or even a week with no pron doesn't do it for you seek help. i bet your just fine.
     
  3. sdbg

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    It sounds like performance anxiety to me. I've had it. If it were someone that you just met in a bar, it probably would not be a problem. The fact that you like this person and have chased her for several years makes it a big deal that you get it right now that you have the chance. I would let her know that you like her and are attracted to her, but you're just a little nervous. If she is the least bit understanding, she'll help you relax about it and everything will go fine.
     
  4. rob_just_rob

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    You sound a bit like me - I am anxious before the first time with someone new and occasionally have had the same issue.

    Two suggestions:

    - try prolonging the foreplay by doing something you really like. Get her naked and give her head, for example. Works for me.

    - I'll probably get shouted down for this, but there's no shame in going to your Dr and getting a prescription for Viagra/Cialis or an equivalent. That way, you won't be worrying about getting hard and can focus on her, the first time you have sex. And after that first time you will remember what the first time was like, and won't need the pill anymore.
     
  5. Doorstop

    Doorstop New Member

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    Hey guys, thanks for the input.

    Well, since my post things have gotten better. It does look like it's anxiety related, being my first time and all and with someone I care about. It gets easier each time. A big help was telling her about it honestly, and she now understands.
     
  6. Standard Deviant

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    Maybe you're really gay. I always had a hard time getting erections when I tried having sex with men, but always got them right away and kept them with women. Except for this one woman who just laid there and insisted on keeping the door open when she had a roommate right outside. Or, it could indeed be stage fright. I always had the most trouble relaxing and getting hard with guys who were well hung, because I was "TOO" excited mentally, too worried about impressing them and doing what they would enjoy because I knew I wanted more than one or two chances with them, etc.
     
  7. midlifebear

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    I'd say you have performance anxiety. If you have stage fright, join Toast Masters. They're good at curing stage fright.
     
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