I've been thinking about this for about two years and I can't bring myself to actually do something about it. I've always been kinda nerdy and skinny. I know if I worked out I'd gain lots of muscle and it would be fast cause I have no weight to loose. But somehow, because of self-confidence issues, I could never bring myself to start the process. I've never done sports, I've never gotten down and dirty as a little boy. Already, at 6 y/o, I was obsessed with being clean and well-dressed. Kinda screwed up for a little boy. Now, at 27, after a depression and 2 years of psychotherapy, I'm finally getting in touch with myself and I realize that I have many unfulfilled needs. I realize I wanna feel powerful, cocky even. It's something I've never done. I suscribed to a gym and so far I like it a lot. I feel really skinny compared to all those muscle men, but I feel no judgement. I also realize I need to try sports with other men. I have never experienced male bounding before, and I think it's a good place to start. I do need to gain a little muscle credibility before though. I like my current gay friends, but there's something about them I hate: they're like girlfriends, not buddies. We almost never talk about sex and when we do, it's to make fun of somebody. These guys have great qualities, but sometimes I feel like we behave like school girls. It's kinda hard to express myself as a man in this situation. So... I think I need to find a new group of friends that would help me feel more like a man. A group of friends where sexuality is a object of pride, not shame. Is it possible in the gay world? Is it possible to form a group of guy friends who are confident in their sexuality and are able to talk about sex in a mature, positive, cheerful way, without it being associated with sexual tension? Gay guys, I need your take on this.