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not sure where to post this, but I assume that the asexual community is the most educated in these identity nuances, so I'm posting it here.
As I age, I'm reflecting on why my relationship experiences are very different from that of others.
I realize the healthiest and most rewarding sexual relationship I've ever had was completely absent of affection and romance. We were just using each other and were completely honest about it with no illusion.
I get very twisted up and confused when I attempt to mix sex with affection. I feel smothered and overwhelmed and I just want to withdraw.
I'm very affectionate with platonic friends, happy to cuddle and even kiss them. But I'm beginning to realize that I don't like doing that with my sexual partners.
Classically, this would be seen as some psychological shortcoming on my part. But with progressive thinking emerging from ace and queer communities, I think I'm beginning to appreciate the possibility that this is an orientation, a legitimate personality type, that I may be an aromantic.
I'm definitely not an asexual aromantic, definitely a sexual aromantic. But I've felt like nothing but inauthenticity and confusion in my attempts to be romantic with partners. It feels forced at this point.
This is very new to me to think about so any input you might have would be appreciated.
As I age, I'm reflecting on why my relationship experiences are very different from that of others.
I realize the healthiest and most rewarding sexual relationship I've ever had was completely absent of affection and romance. We were just using each other and were completely honest about it with no illusion.
I get very twisted up and confused when I attempt to mix sex with affection. I feel smothered and overwhelmed and I just want to withdraw.
I'm very affectionate with platonic friends, happy to cuddle and even kiss them. But I'm beginning to realize that I don't like doing that with my sexual partners.
Classically, this would be seen as some psychological shortcoming on my part. But with progressive thinking emerging from ace and queer communities, I think I'm beginning to appreciate the possibility that this is an orientation, a legitimate personality type, that I may be an aromantic.
I'm definitely not an asexual aromantic, definitely a sexual aromantic. But I've felt like nothing but inauthenticity and confusion in my attempts to be romantic with partners. It feels forced at this point.
This is very new to me to think about so any input you might have would be appreciated.