This Guy... The Complainer

kewlkid75

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I belong to another group on Facebook and I enjoy it very much. It centers around introverts and we have discussions and post memes and pictures etc etc. So, I got to know a lot of the members and actually befriended them, including this one guy from New York, the Bronx. I never been there but he tells me about it. This particular guy and I became pretty cool with each other and we exchanged DMs information..sounds about right.. So, as we got to know each other better, he was curious how big I was, because the conversation went there a couple of times, so he started asking me to show him my dick and I did and he showed me his and I told him it was nice and he had nothing to worry about. He complains about being little and women don't want little dick dudes. I'm like man, stop... Please.. Women..ok, some women don't care about the size of your dick, (I told him I was gay, so dick size doesn't matter to me as long as he gets hard). Just approach women right, treat women with respect and don't be pushy and be cool, at least that's what I read in here a lot. If they say no.. move on. Then he would say something about a girl he's interested in and he can't approach her because he is afraid that she'll say no, eventhough women from the group asked him out and he turned her down just to stay home and play video games. He will ask me for advice and I will tell him over and over to be cool and not creepy and take the woman out for coffee or something until you get know her better and then he tells me about buying a penis pump...(long story for sure). I told him about the one I got, but I don't pump daily but I enjoy it, when i do, so he gets a pump and tells me he wants a big dick like in porn and I go dude, you gotta stop beating yourself up over your obsession for a big dick. He says he likes my dick, because its perfect. I don't know what to say but Thanks? Then he says he is straight, but he love looking at men too, I say could you be curious or a little bi..Adamantly denies that.. NO, he likes women, but he thinks about me and my penis.. I can't handle another long distance relationship or conversation that never goes anywhere..

I have given him some advice on talking to women or going out with her from the group, but he insists on playing video games..which is nothing wrong with that, but he takes time off just to complain about his lack of size. He complains about not finding love. He is a habitual complainer. Do you think I should let him go? I respect people, but this is too much. What advice would you give me? Oh the irony huh..
 
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It sounds like he's crippled by fear. Could he be coming up with excuses to get out of dating because he's afraid of women rejecting him?
 

spaj8987

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I'd say to leave him be. For a lot of reasons. First and most important...you don't seem to like him. Also, you can't let go of someone before you're in an important relationship with them. Seems to me he's just looking for a friend. Someone he can express himself with. Maybe he's bi or so on but it would seem it'll be a while before he gains the courage to try that out. I'm thinking the best thing to do is to (if you're ok with it and don't dislike him because of what he talks about) tell him you just want to be cool. With no relationship or sexual extras. If though him talking about the things he has talked about pushes you away even as a friend. Give him a link to this site. As well as bigdickproblems on reddit.

I'm thinking he's just yet another straight guy out there without much information regarding penis size. And is suffering from it. Though i could be very wrong about all that.
 
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kewlkid75

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I'd say to leave him be. For a lot of reasons. First and most important...you don't seem to like him. Also, you can't let go of someone before you're in an important relationship with them. Seems to me he's just looking for a friend. Someone he can express himself with. Maybe he's bi or so on but it would seem it'll be a while before he gains the courage to try that out. I'm thinking the best thing to do is to (if you're ok with it and don't dislike him because of what he talks about) tell him you just want to be cool. With no relationship or sexual extras. If though him talking about the things he has talked about pushes you away even as a friend. Give him a link to this site. As well as bigdickproblems on reddit.

I'm thinking he's just yet another straight guy out there without much information regarding penis size. And is suffering from it. Though i could be very wrong about all that.

Thanks for your response. You made a lot of valid points.
Now don't get me wrong. He's a cool person and I would definitely take him on as a friend online, because that's the only way we could be friends. I just feel like he is not taking responsibility and looking for a way to not do his part. Trust me I have been there. I did exactly that, ask questions to people and hoping to garner some answers an or sympathy. I didn't take the advice and use it, I just looked for excuses. That what I was asking of him. We would communicate by messenger and it's the same conversation over and over. I hope he becomes comfortable with himself. I know this more than anyone. Ultimately it falls on you. You have to get comfortable with your own life..easier said that done I know. Its doable for sure. Oh no absolutely not. I won't dislike him. I welcome him, but let's change the tone of the conversation..that's all. I say a lot of things and I know when people are tired of me and want to stop talking, so I find new conversations to be had. I sure will and hopefully it will help him overcome his feelings of inadequacy. No you're not wrong. I talked to him about my own experience and struggle with not being big enough. I come to this site and read some of the conversations and get the advice from here and I use it. I understand that we as men, some of us will never be happy about our penis size and some of us will embrace what we have, and that's exactly what I did..embraced my size. So, yes. I hope he finds his peace.
 
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spaj8987

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Thanks for your response. You made a lot of valid points.
Now don't get me wrong. He's a cool person and I would definitely take him on as a friend online, because that's the only way we could be friends. I just feel like he is not taking responsibility and looking for a way to not do his part. Trust me I have been there. I did exactly that, ask questions to people and hoping to garner some answers an or sympathy. I didn't take the advice and use it, I just looked for excuses. That what I was asking of him. We would communicate by messenger and it's the same conversation over and over. I hope he becomes comfortable with himself. I know this more than anyone. Ultimately it falls on you. You have to get comfortable with your own life..easier said that done I know. Its doable for sure. Oh no absolutely not. I won't dislike him. I welcome him, but let's change the tone of the conversation..that's all. I say a lot of things and I know when people are tired of me and want to stop talking, so I find new conversations to be had. I sure will and hopefully it will help him overcome his feelings of inadequacy. No you're not wrong. I talked to him about my own experience and struggle with not being big enough. I come to this site and read some of the conversations and get the advice from here and I use it. I understand that we as men, some of us will never be happy about our penis size and some of us will embrace what we have, and that's exactly what I did..embraced my size. So, yes. I hope he finds his peace.

Thanks. I'm guessing the masculinity and toxic masculinity trap of being expected not to show emotions but somehow have male friends is a large factor here. It does ultimately fall on us but as far as i can tell he has no idea how to even start working on himself. Which is understandable since most self help books and stuff go from the beginning of self help towards the end.

What might also help him out.

Relationship Advice

Object Constancy: Understanding the Fear of Abandonment and Borderline Personality Disorder

Might help you out too.

Good luck.
 

kewlkid75

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Thanks. I'm guessing the masculinity and toxic masculinity trap of being expected not to show emotions but somehow have male friends is a large factor here. It does ultimately fall on us but as far as i can tell he has no idea how to even start working on himself. Which is understandable since most self help books and stuff go from the beginning of self help towards the end.

What might also help him out.

Relationship Advice

Object Constancy: Understanding the Fear of Abandonment and Borderline Personality Disorder

Might help you out too.

Good luck.

Thank you. I will let him know about these posts and I will read them and continually gain knowledge and work on being the best version of me.
Hopefully he will learn to express what he wants out of life and relationships from now on out. Learn to experience joy and show emotions for it's a good thing to be open, honest and vulnerable about self and how you feel. It is helping me. I have help and am grateful for that and helping him is something he has to learn, but he isn't alone.
 

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{QUOTE="kewlkid75}...he showed me his and I told him it was nice and he had nothing to worry about. He complains about being little and women don't want little dick dudes...He will ask me for advice women or going out with her from the group, but he insists on playing video games..which is nothing wrong with that, but he takes time off just to complain about his lack of size. He complains about not finding love. He is a habitual complainer. Do you think I should let him go? I respect people, but this is too much. What advice would you give me? Oh the irony huh..{/QUOTE}

kewlkid75 please give him this link - which leads to the support group that addresses his particular complaint:

Measurection.com - Discussing Man At Length

Now you can still remain friends with him - if you wish to.