This is about a woman next door. Please help me!!

EllieP

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Sweetie, you're young but you're not the oasis she is looking for. A quickie with a kid just is not my idea of a Calgon moment.
 

hunkydory

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Buy her kids a carton of cigarettes so she knows you care, and tell them you want to fuck their mommy - I'm sure she'll melt.
 

hunkydory

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On the other hand you could just drug her and drag her body to your house (keep the cigarettes for the date).
 

D_Bubba_Butter

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On the other hand you could just drug her and drag her body to your house (keep the cigarettes for the date).

Don't drag. That looks suspicious.

Use a shopping trolley or similar, tousle her hair, use a little water to smudge her mascara and put a half empty bottle of vodka in her hand to provide a back story.






*Disclaimer: the poster bears no responsibility if anyone fails to recognise sarcasm & employs this idea in the real world.*
 
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hud01

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So she talks to you, and? You're a sounding board for her, a set of ears for her to let it all out. Does NOT mean she wants or desires to fuck you. You're "18". Date some girls your own age.
I agree with everything except date girls your own age. Age does not and should not matter.
 

SurferGirlCA

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You said "she keeps talking to me sometimes." So she talks to you often, but briefly? Or you have long conversations now and then? If you are really interested, then try (not in a creepy way) to speak with her some more. If she's just talking to you in passing, as your neighbor, then she may have no idea - and no interest. If you've had long conversations with her, she may be interested herself. If you decide to go for it, realize you live next door, so if it all blows up in your face, there could be major repercussions.
 

Guy-jin

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Some great suggestions in this thread.

How about a simpler approach? Next time you see her in her yard looking for a 'conversation', walk over to her, flop your wing wong out and swing it around yelling "RIDE THE WINDMILL BABY!"

Older women eat that shit up, bro.
 
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Ask her out for lunch or a walk maybe that might trigger it but let her make the first move like everyone one else say if she want it she will push the issue
 

twoton

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agreed. it's so fucking greasy to see all the unhappiness in her life as a good reason why she should spread her legs for some horny kid.

Really?! I thought random sex was exactly what all women with unhappy lives crave. Huh. I guess ya learn something new every day. :tongue:
 

NotSoDumb_Blonde

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best post EVER

oh my god. too funny. Really!


Okay, here's my two cents. I'm single. I know some younger guys your age. There's no way I'd have sex with any of them.

But, if you want to lead into sex with this married-mom-who-lives-next-door....Ask yourself a few questions. Do you sense she wants to have sex with you? Is her husband big enough to kill you? Does he own a gun? lol...okay, so seriously, if she wants to have sex with you, you think, then simply ask her. I mean, if she's into having sex with you -- someone who's like that much younger -- than she's probably wanting you to make the move.

But, hell, what do I know, I just thought Bonerrific was hilarious.

And, maybe she's just being nice, neighborly? I talk to young guys that cut my neighbors yard, but no way am I checking them out for sex....jeez, more like what's next after high school kinda thing talks. Just curious stuff. LOL. I'm gonna be more careful now though .....