Gerber, Similac and Enfamil are not natural, and cannot possibly be better than breast milk.
Though I understand what you man about formula prducts being "unnatural," I have to disagree that the y can't possible be better than breastmilk-- many mothers simply cannot brastfeed for various reasons, including mom's milk supply being too little or not nutritious enough, or that the child can't tolerate mom's milk. I personally chose not to breastfeed because I was on medications that pass into breastmilk and to me, the risks of that outweighed the benefits of breastfeeding. In defense of formula, millions of children from all walks of life have grown into exceptional adults. Also, the formula companies have made a sincere effort to make formula nutritionally consistent with breastmilk.
I'm not going to argue that breastmilk isn't better for a child's immune system, however, to make a blanket statement like that is a little disingenuous.
The women in other countries who do not have access to these "wonderful" products certainly do have access in many cases to at least a limited variety of fruits or vegetables and cereal grains. They also have mortars and pestles. If they thought food was better for their children, they'd feed them these things mashed up, minus the preservatives added by Gerber.
This is quite untrue. The problem in developing countries with malnutrition is that mothers have limited access to any food-- which puts them and their children at risk whether breastfeeding or not. It is a lot easier and more nutritionally complete for the child to nurse because the body makes the milk supply first at the expense of mom. And, in fact, mothers in those countries do feed their children solid food if it's available to them. Gerber and other companies make plenty of organic baby food, which I bought for my son. He didn't like it so he ate mostly "adult food" when he was weaned, but there is quality baby food out there. And if not, there's the blender.
My point is, NJQT, as far as I see it, was making the point that many times food is in short supply in developing countries, so breastfeeding longer is necessary.
The girls eat food. They are getting what they need physically and emotionally. The girl who no longer breast feeds talks about it like she wishes she still were.
My concern with this is that at some point, children need to start separating themselves from their mothers and becoming individuals. This is a mother's main job. In our culture and in the culture these girls are a part of and will need to assimilate into, kids are expected to go to school, play with their friends, and eat and drink independent of their mother's breast. This may emotionally stunt these girls because they are too dependent on their mother at an age when they are expected by society to be more independent. This can cause a lot of problems. We do not raise our children in isolation, and even if we don't love the norm in our culture, we do have to realize that children are expected to live in society at large and therefopre have to stay at least somewhat aware of that. What this woman is doing is so far from the norm that it can't be healthy for her children's growth among her peers.
To each their own. I know a woman who was still suckling her 3 year old son, who said she'd do it until he stopped wanting it. He gave it up on his own around the age of four. She was feeding him a high fiber (vegan) diet, and he was just too full for milk too, though he still loves to be cradled. I don't see what the big deal is, or how it's abusive.
Actually for all of your railing about formula, vegan diets in children are extremely troublesome because it is very hard to meet the nutritional needs of children who are fed vegan, much moreso than formula. Like mothers in developing countries, it was good that your friend breastfed so long because it helped meet that child's nutritional needs in ways that vegan diets can't. There have been numerous reports of abuse because children fed vegan are often malnourished. Children need much more fat and protein in smaller amouts of food than adults do. Vegan diets are not as nutritionally dense.
I agree that breastfeeding can probably be healthy for your child forever. Not arguing that point. In fact, almost everything I found online says that breastfeeding should continue until you and the child decide to stop. But when does it "cross the line"? I never breastfed, wasn't able to. I tried, though. But I couldn't have seen myself breastfeeding my son past 1 year, MAYBE 18 months. It's incredibly inconvenient.
I'm in the same boat as you, meg, and so far it seems to have worked just fine. I have a two year old right now, and I can't see him wanting to breastfeed-- he's extremely energetic and will stay on my lap for all of 3 minutes. This is something that I think is wonderful-- an independent child will be an independent adult.
And after a certain age, the nutritional benefits do decrease, as njqt466 said. What five year old wants to tell his friends that when he gets home from school, he's going to snack on cookies and boob? Seriously. My son was strictly formula fed. Started on cereal when he was 4 months, baby food at 5 or 6 months, and some normal "adult" foods (i.e., hotdogs, dry cereal) at 9 months. He's incredibly intelligent, fully functional, independent, and has no health problems at all. Not even seasonal allergies. So I guess formula can't be all bad. I do make an exception for people in 3rd world countries who don't have milk or formula or whatever other items their child would need to have a healthy, balanced diet. That comes out of necessity. But here in America, I think it comes out of want/need/insecurity on the parents behalf.
The nutitional value does decrease simply because your body knows it's time to wean. Mothers have always weaned their babies either because a new one was coming or they had to take care of the home or otherwise work. I don't know any statistics, but I'd say that pre-contraception, children were weaned WAY earlier out of necessity than 3,4, or 5. I would venture that school-age children is really only possible in the modern world, especially as old as 7.
Now you may want to shoot me for saying this, but no one mentioned the dependency issues in the mother. We all know this is not an unpleasurable experience for the mother either.THough I have never been a mother nor engaged in breastfeeding, I do think a great big 8 year old with teeth needs to get with the program. My mother used to crack me up looking at some younger mothers stretching out the process into the 4th and 5th year. She would just say, "Mmmhmmmm, that baby isnt the only one enjoying that experience! " LOL! I will say no more....
Naughy, I agree with this. A lot of mothers that I know personally seem to have more attachment to the brestfeeding than the kids-- and children go along with their mothers because, well, that's what kids do. A friend of mine refused to pump because she simply didn't want to be separated from her child. At this point, he's almost a year old and she's seeing that he doesn't want to breastfeed as much because he's eating solid food-- and she's not pushing him to feed anymore than he wants, even though she misses it. Kids know when they are ready to wean, and though some may take until 2 or 3 to get off completely (one feeding, usually at night), it seems like it's mom who wants the child to feed longer, not the child. Many mothers depend on their children much more than they should to fill their needs above their children's. I can't see how this is not the case here.
I wanted to say something regarding the family bed. My son slept with us in bed until about 2-3 months ago. We'd put him in his bed and if he fussed we'd read him a book or give him a sippy cup of water, and if he woke up inconsolable, we'd bring him into bed with us. Over those months, he's been staying in his own bed more and more, and comes into our room only in the morning to wake us up so he can jump on our heads. I don't think it's a bad thing that he was in our bed, but I also think he needs to learn to be on his own, even if it's at his own pace. On another note, my husband dearly misses having the boy in our bed, much more than he does. My husband works long hours and sleeping with the baby has been very special to him. However, he's also realized the need for the child to become independent, or make room for another baby who would co-sleep. Also, there does come a point where it gets very hard to get a child into their own bed, and I imagine breastfeeding is the same way. Both, at 8 years old, seem unhealthy to me, not to mention inconvenient for the parents. At some point, mom and dad need to have a life together again.
