this is the worst thing that ever happened to me

[marleyisalegend]

so i get home from work tonight and my dog greets me with an excited hug. in the process she scratched the shit out of my bottom lip. now all my coworkers are gonna think i have herpes.

lesson learned: no more procrastinating. if you have a dog, clip those nails NOW! not now, five minutes ago. clip them five minutes ago.

 

[b.c.]

No, worse than that is stepping outside your rear patio door and having your big silly dog jump up all excited to see you - scratching your free hanging dick thru the fabric of your thin cotton baggies. oWWWWWWWWW.

 

[marleyisalegend]

No, worse than that is stepping outside your rear patio door and having your big silly dog jump up all excited to see you - scratching your free hanging dick thru the fabric of your thin cotton baggies. oWWWWWWWWW.

omg. billie has big, strong paws. if she did that to me i wouldn't have a dick to speak of.

 

[Rikter8]

omg. billie has big, strong paws. if she did that to me i wouldn't have a dick to speak of.

If your going to talk about pets...there's one thing we must have.


PICTURES!!!!!

 

[b.c.]

omg. billie has big, strong paws. if she did that to me i wouldn't have a dick to speak of.

:wink: yep.

But in truth, what really happens is that a kind of "Spidey-sense" kicks in... where in a split second something deep in one's subconscious screams, "MY DIIIICK!!"

...causing one to pull backward before contact... just a micro-millimeter enough to minimize the total removal of one's p and j. :tongue:

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Oh, come on there, Marley- better she scratch you than bite/maul you, no?

 

[Empathizer]

While I do feel sorry for you, as my great aunt used to say, "If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, you should have real problems, shaynah maydel!"