This shit needs to stop.

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Spamalot, Mar 30, 2007.

  1. Spamalot

    Spamalot New Member

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    My day today went as follows: woke up, ate, went on the internet, posted something on here and checked my messages on another website, got ready to go out, went out, and came home. On my way home, these kids in some dump of a car went flying past and nearly had a head on collision with a truck because they passed me on a curve on a narrow, semi-rural road. Maybe two miles later, skid marks and smoke. I turn the corner and see the same car, except now it's half the size and up against a concrete barrier. I was the first one on the scene, and I called it in. There were three kids in the car, all under 18. The two in the front didn't have seat belts on and were dead already. The one in the back had a seat belt on and was unconscious and bleeding terribly. I got him out of the car, and soon people started to show up and try to help. By the time the ambulance got there, he was extremely critical and had lost a lot of blood. I don't know if he's going to survive, or if he's dead already. It's been a couple of hours now. My clothes are blood stained, and my mind may as well be.

    I'm such a fucking mess right now. This is the second time I've been the first person to encounter a deadly car wreck. I was every single one of those kids only a few years ago. That thought is the most scary to me.

    I'm so sick of this shit, I don't even have powerful enough words to describe it. I'm sick of beaurocratic bullshit about driving ages. I'm sick of kids getting drunk or trying to impress their friends and killing themselves in the process. I'm sick of giving kids tickets and endless warnings for endangering themselves and others. I'm sick of the bullshit.

    Stick a governor of the engines of every single fucking teenager. They won't be able to top 50 miles an hour, ever.

    Fuck.
     
  2. WildHoney

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    Hugs to you Spamalot,

    I am SO sorry about your awful day. My god how horrific it would have been to be on that scene.

    I agree with you totally about laws with teenagers and cars. Here in Australia ( Queensland) they are limited with the type of car they drive ( no v8's or turbo modified) , and they can can only take one passanger. They also are thinking of bringing in a curfew for the probationary period of your licence.

    I am not sure what is going to stop teenage boys especially from driving too fast, I think limiting the passengers is a good start.

    How sad today will be for so many familes, and for yourself.

    xx
    Take care of yourself after this , you've had a huge shock.

    Honey
     
  3. Spamalot

    Spamalot New Member

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    I'm soaked in someone else's blood, and too numb to even get up and do something about it.

    Engine governors. You simply can't go above a certain set limit, because the engine won't do it.

    I need to pull myself together. Might check this tomorrow.
     
  4. No_Strings

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    Wow, firstly I never experienced something like that, and hope to God I never do. I can't imagine how horrific it must've been. Truly I can't.

    I think, rather than restricting speeds like that, we need to drill the consequences into the mind of youth. Not only to themselves, but how it affects every single person around them.

    Unfortunately, speeding is a conscious choice, I think limiting and this would be too much of an intruding act. The measures currently in place are enough, speeding is sometimes necessary, it would only take one situation under engine governors for this to become apparent and an uproar would ensue.

    No, I think if a teenager makes the decision to speed, he also accepts the risk that envelopes it. Making them under-fucking-stand what can happen as a result of this is the key.

    The people I feel even moreso for, are the passengers and family.
     
  5. madame_zora

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    I worked as a cemeterian for five years. I can't tell you how many teens I buried from car accidents, it was revolting. I wish every teen had to attend a funeral of a teen driver before getting a license, their refusal to accept responsibility is just shocking. The most dangerous place I ever drove was on my daughter's high school parking lot. They didn't have bus service, so parents had to drive the kids to school until they were old enough to drive themselves. A ton of kids driving, and their desire to show off in front of each other made it a nightmare for me every day.

    We lose more people on our roads annually than we've ever lost in a war, not everyone knows that.

    I'd be in favor of raising the driving age to 18, while it would limit the kids who don't drive like fucktards, it would save the lives of many people who have to drive beside (or with) 16 year old "invincibles". No cell phones while driving for anyone, pull the fuck over if it's that important. Stop making stereos that blast out noise at decibals that cause brain damage- you can't concentrate on what's going on around you when your ears are nearly bleeding. Put your fucking make-up on at home, or when you get where you're going. I even once saw a woman putting on pantyhose while driving! Drivers who are under 18 should not be allowed to have more than ONE other minor in the car with them at any given time, for ANY reason. Gaggles of teens get slap-happy too easily and neglect the gravity of the responsibility of driving.

    Insurance rates for everyone would be less expensive if we didn't all have to pay for this very high-risk group, and fewer parents would have to attend the funerals of their kids. If we can't raise them to be responsible, keep them off the fucking roads. Parents need to impress upon their kids the fact that auto accidents are our number one cause of death, it's just not fucking funny.
     
  6. rubberwilli

    rubberwilli Member

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    Hang in there Spamalot. It does sound like a horrible horrible experience. But you did what you could and tried to help. That's much more than many people in this world would do.

    Sounds to me like a bath might be in order to help you relax. I can't imagine what's running through your mind right now but know that you did the right thing.
     
  7. madame_zora

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    I have to disagree with you on this- speeding is never necessary, and and kids (or anyone) who does is is the intruder! Why is some asshole allowed to put MY life at risk, because they don't care about their own? Reckless driving is attemtped murder, plain and simple.
     
  8. rubberwilli

    rubberwilli Member

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    If we imposed limiters or restrictors on cars, kids would figure out how to disconnect them.

    When I was in high school I was the president of our Students Against Driving Drunk. We posted a wrecked car in front of the building at prom and homecoming, and the police office loaned us photos of people who had been killed by driving drunk. It shocked some shit into people at our school.

    At the COSI, the Center of Science and Industry in Columbus, Ohio they have an exhibit entitled "Explore Life." They talk about life, death, religion, etc... In the section on Death they have a car that was totalled by either a drunk driver or kids driving too fast and biographies of the kids killed in the car. It's a great life lesson experience for people of all ages. The car is totally mangled. Really an amazing museum progressive and thought provoking. My old museum, Children's Museum of Indianapolis, would never tackle the things they do at COSI.

    I think it takes a concerted effort to make these lessons hit home. Involved parents, shocking reality of the consequences of driving unsafe, higher insurance and penalties for speeding, government involvement, auto maker involvement, etc... Focus on one answer only won't do it. I think we've learned that from "Just say no!" and abstinence only sex-education.
     
  9. No_Strings

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    My mistake, I was digressing off the point of it being teenagers, rather referring to emergency servies, unmarked police et al. Or, albeit rare, any situation where a life is at risk if one doesn't drive over the limit.
    But of course, that's not something which can be judged on an indivdual basis, and justifying it wouldn't be easy in a court. :rolleyes:

    I actually agree with what you say now I hear it, but then, aren't you accepting this risk by being a road-user yourself?
    Yet there wouldn't be a risk if everybody followed the rules, but then I feel it again comes down to teaching people what can happen when these rules are broken.
     
  10. lgille1645

    lgille1645 New Member

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    Spamalot,

    I acknowledge your pain. I hear both sadness and anger in your tone. Stay in touch with both. Don't swallow them. Keep "journaling" as you are doing here. Talk about it with others. The new definition of trauma eliminates the need for one to feel their own life is in danger. "Vicarious Traumatization" is a form where the trauma of another is felt by one who witnesses it, or even simply hears about it. You have been traumatized, especially since this event has called up the feelings from the other event. "Feel it to heal it". Let the feelings surface. Don't judge the feelings or be angry that they exist. Attempt to feel them as a physical manifestation. Take stock as to where you feel your "pain" physically. This will prevent you from making it worse by piling the "pain caused by the pain" on top. Simply acknowledge the pain without judging it. What does it "feel" like phsycially. If you can do this, it will escape through your body instead of being trapped in your mind. You might want to get some temporary counseling. Be sure to ask for someone who is trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This is important because your interpretation of the events, or what the events say about life itself, and you in it, need to be examined and held up to scruitiny. Cognitive therapists posit the notion that reality is benign. It is neither bad nor good. It is only how we interpret it between our ears that ascribes goodness and badness, and many times these conclusions are false and couterproductive. They believe (as I do) that we can "choose" to create or heal our negative emotions by choosing what meaning we ascribe to events in our lives. Anyway, I acknowledge your pain. Also, thank you for your courage in stopping and risking your own well being to help another. Nice job. Now its time to help yourself. Don't try to "tough it out". If you burry these feelings, they will find a strange ways to seep out and affect you and your relationships, and your own sense of safety. Good night, my friend...
     
  11. Principessa

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    Oh My God! I am so sorry you witnessed such a horrible occurrence. First I'd like to commend you for doing the right thing and helping out. Some might have called it in; but not gotten out of their car.
    Secondly, I think you are in shock right now. Please summon the strength from somewhere to take a shower and get out of those clothes. Trust me, you don't want to fall asleep and wake up in those clothes. Hydrogen peroxide straight out of the bottle will dissolve blood stains. Sometimes doing mundane things like laundry or dishes helps us through emotionally tough times like this.

    There are specific rules & limitations to the New Jersey Graduated Drivers License. I live in New Jersey, here the driving age is 17, however you can get a learners permit at 16. At 17 you get a probationary license and at 18 a basic drivers license. There are limits on the number of teens allowed in a car here as well. The rules are much stricter now than when I got my license in 1983, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, all this has not stopped numerous senseless teen age deaths. I don't know what, if anything, will stop this horror from happening again and again.

    Aside from the fact that governor switches can easily be disconnected the real problem with that is that most families share cars. The problem isn't the car. All teens have a feeling of invincibility. I know I had it at that age. I was so young and dumb at 18 I not only drag raced but on a couple of occassions I drove drunk. I am not proud of this. I'm just using myself as an example of how common the, "it can't happen to me" thinking is among young people. I am extremely lucky to be alive today.

    I don't know what the answer is Spamalot, but I wish I did.


    Peace,
    njqt466




     
  12. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

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    !?!
     
  13. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

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    Experiencing death up close is just no damned fun. It is going to take time for the numbness to wear off and for you to deal with it (like you didn't know this already.) I am not positive that I agree with governors, they can be nearly as dangerous as letting them drive @ 90mph. If you need the speed and power to get out of the way of something then your are screwed. Not an issue on the prairies, but go through the mountains on a single lane road and try to pass a semi who is doing 40 up the hill. Even if you can't see oncoming traffic it can be there fast and you need to get out of the way. Go faster or brake. And limiting them to 50 would provide a danger to drivers on half of your interstates as they get frustrated and try to pass (I have been on some where at 70mph I did not pass a single car.) I don't like speeding, but keeping up with the flow is necessary in some situations if you don't want to be killed yourself.

    In this province we introduced graduated drivers licenses. If you are caught speeding, running a stop sign etc you loose it. 0 tolerance for alcohol (none of this .08) and you can't drive at night for the first few years. It will (hopefully) work and may be worth writing your congressman about.

    Anyhow, try to get a little rest and I wish you pleasant dreams.
     
  14. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    Yes, this is incorrect. While we do lose something to the tune of tens of thousands of people every year to traffic fatalities, that number is dwarfed by the number of Americans that died while serving during the Civil War (over 500,000 Union and Confederate soldiers died) or World War II (over 400,000). and we'd have to have a spectacularly bad year for traffic fatalities to match Vietnam (50,000) or World War I (100,000).
     
  15. Elmer Gantry

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    Your post sent a shiver up my spine, put a nasty feeling in my stomach and took me back to one cold night about 10 years ago on the outskirts of Melbourne. A car full of drunk youngsters ran a red light and t-boned a car that was making a right turn under a green arrow right in front of me as I was on the way home from work. The car in the right contained a husband and wife onthe way home to the kids after a night out. She made it, he didn't. The car in the wrong contained two guys and a girl, the driver was well over the legal limit and was later found to be doing 65kmh over the speed limit, besides running the red.

    I wish all the boy racer wannabe's and idiot drink-drivers out there could have experienced the ugly violence of the moment and the gut wrenching sadness of the aftermath. It took me some time to shake that feeling.
     
  16. fortiesfun

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    Without diving into the question of how to prevent such loss, let me extend my sympathy to you, Spamalot, for what you've been through. I hope by the time you read this you've had some sleep and been able to step back a bit. The pain of such an occurrence is horrible. I'm glad you brought it here for a bit of support and relief.
     
  17. AlteredEgo

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    Spamalot, come back tomorrow and let us know how you are. Okay? *huggle*
     
  18. Yorkie

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    It's a really terrible experience you've had there Spamalot and unfortunately as long as teenagers are allowed to drive it will keep happening.
    Young guys do feel invincible when they get behind the wheel of their first car.I had a motorbike in my teens/early 20's and I knew the danger I was putting myself in when I'd get on an open stretch of road and wind the throttle back to see the maximum speed I could get out of it.
    I came through my biking days unscathed but I know that a sudden puncture could have killed me.
    The thrill of driving at speed is something that a lot of young guys are always going to want,we can only hope that seeing the horrific results of their recklessness does get through to them.
     
  19. bigrockcock

    bigrockcock New Member

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    NineInch...I think his point was 10,000s of dead per year multiplied by the 90 years that cars have been popular transportation gets you towards 1 million.
     
  20. dong20

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    Awful, I've been in similar position though not quite the first on the scene. The UK is contemplating speed limiters for Bikes but it's a flawed solution on many levels, not the least of which is human nature and, the belief of many teenagers that they are invincible.

    At 50 mph a head on collision with anything substantial (such as concrete) is quite likely to be fatal and hitting a car head on also doing 50 will be 100mph equivilant. Speed isn't the problem, or rather it's not the whole problem.

    I'm not sure what the solution is, perhaps right now there isn't one and while speed limiters may play a part more is needed; Zora you are right but all too often the lesson is short term, especially in the young, after all it will never happen to them right?

    It's an interesting topic and should produce some interesting discussion....I'll be back later but right now I have to go out.....:smile:
     
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