this site is starting to give me a complex

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by voyeuristic, May 27, 2009.

  1. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    Seriously...I feel like the female equivalent of all the guys with micropenises who find themselves here and then beat themselves up for not being good enough.

    I'd never had a problem with my breast size until very recently - I think they're perky and nicely shaped, and I've enjoyed the fact that I never need to wear a bra. I've never even considered surgery, enhancement bras, or anything of that nature - I figured that I've got what I got and it'll just have to be good enough. Almost all of the threads about attractive women here seem to be focused on massive tits, though - and it seems like the more time I spend looking at porn or reading LPSG, the worse I feel about myself. I always assumed that when guys I've been with said they like my breasts, they were being honest - but after spending a lot of time on this site, I feel like most of them were probably just settling because they liked other things about me but really would have preferred that I have DD cups. I know that huge tits aren't the most important thing in the world and that personality, a cute face, and big heart will trump them for most people - but I want to be with people who actually prefer my body type and are not just settling for it, and after reading too many posts on this forum I'm left feeling like that's probably delusional. It doesn't seem like very many guys are into less-endowed women, and when they are they're invariably 18 year old, 90 lb. girls from Japan.

    My boyfriend loves me and is very much attracted to me, and we have hot sex, but most of the girls he checks out have much bigger breasts than me (okay, granted, almost all women do), and between that and all the posts on here, I'm feeling pretty down on a part of myself that had never given me any grief before. I think about the way men with micropenises are mocked by most people (male and female) and I wonder if I'm the female equivalent of that - do men sit around and make fun of women with small chests? Do they feel sorry for us? Do they express disappointment to their friends when they go on a date with a woman and find out she's not as endowed as they hoped?

    This morning when my fella and I had sex, I didn't feel like taking my shirt off. When he touched my nipples, I wanted to cry. He knows that I've been feeling self-conscious about this lately and I felt like he was trying to give that area a bit of extra attention...but I felt so ashamed of that part of me for the first time in my life. It was so strange and sad, and really made me wonder if maybe I should stop checking out sex-related forums and porn, because in the real world things like charisma will often get one further than being stacked. I just can't stop obsessing over statistics and polls now, though, and feeling abnormal/less than/not good enough. It's a horrible feeling, and it makes me really empathize with all the tiny-dicked men who struggle with their size. It must be rough for you guys, too. Big hugs to you!

    Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. Pun very much intended!

    If anyone has any advice for combatting these sorts of insecurities, I'm all ears.
     
  2. immortalthor

    immortalthor New Member

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    Don't beat yourself up about it. I've been insecure about my size since about the time I discovered I had a dick. My wife says she loves it, but there's always that nagging little voice in the back of my head that says she's lying, and just trying to make me feel better. From looking at your pics, you're smokin' hot, so don't let it get to you.

    The best advice I can give you is the advice I give myself. Stop coming here for a while, and any other sex-related boards you might visit. I've noticed that if I visit them every day or whatever, I start to feel really really down on myself, and that's just not healthy.

    So just step back, tell yourself that you won't come back here for a week, and just chill out with your BF, and let him worship that tight body of yours.

    Oh yeah, my wife's got small breasts as well, and it's never bothered me at all.
     
  3. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    Thor, I hadn't been here much in several months, and I noticed that my insecurities really relapsed when I returned. I think your advice is worth taking, but I have a hard time staying away from the uncut cocks...and all the great advice on buttsex, etc.!

    Of course everyone loves their partner's body if they love the person, but if they could snap their fingers, there are probably some things that most people would change. Now, I can't help but feeling like those "things" are my breasts, for most guys. That's all. Of course, we live in the real world, not a fantasy, so people very rarely get everything they want. Out of curiosity, are you small, or just average in size?
     
  4. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    your sexy and i'd do you
     
  5. morsecode

    morsecode New Member

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    You remind me of myself, you most likely know that is all in your head, and the best advice I could give to you is to not come here as often, that's what I do when I feel like that.
     
  6. immortalthor

    immortalthor New Member

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    Pretty small, right at 4" in length, and about 5½" in girth, and yeah I've had a few things said to my face about it. Hooray. Way to help the antidepressant sales.

    Like I said, you're a knockout so don't worry about it. The best thing to do is talk to him about it and tell him how you're feeling. You absolutely cannot get over depression alone. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk some more.
     
  7. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    Thanks horribleperson but I'm looking more for constructive advice than cheap compliments - those never hurt, of course. ;)
     
  8. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    Thor - ah, okay, so you know what it's like to be far below average then, at least in length. You're a sweetheart and I really appreciate the kind words.

    I've definitely talked to my guy about it and he's been very patient and accomodating when it comes to my insecurities. One of the things that complicates it a bit is that we're in an open relationship, so he sleeps with other women and I sleep with other men (who may or may not like my breast size!) I think that if it were just he and I, there wouldn't be so much opportunity for comparison - but since this is something we've both chosen, I need to figure out a way to stop feeling like this and remember that ultimately he's chosen to make me the central woman in his life, and that even if he gropes some big titties once in awhile, that's not going to threaten my position.
     
  9. dolfette

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    i don't usually bother with pics but this thread made me look.

    i'm sure you've seen enough of my posts to know that i don't post nice for the sake of nice and i don't sweeten the pill.

    you are a beautiful woman!
    naked or clothed, you look great.
    the nudes i paint aren't my shape. they're yours.

    and in twenty years, when my nipples are getting to know my knees, you'll still have the chest of a twenty year old.

    i envy you.
     
  10. ThickySix

    ThickySix New Member

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    You are a beautiful and vibrant young woman. It is sometimes easy to become discontent with what we have or who we are, But you are as God intended.
     
  11. DiscoBoy

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    Perhaps the root of your insecurities is your open relationship. Considering your boyfriend plays with other women whom are better 'endowed' than you are, it's understandable that you'd feel as if he were just 'settling'.

    However, you have to remember that the beauty of relationships is that your flaws are accepted along with your strengths. That is of course assuming that he even considers your smaller breasts as a flaw. Like previous posters have said, you have an absolutely amazing body. Many men would prefer a slim/fit woman with smaller breasts over a larger woman with ample sized breasts. It's very rare that a woman is both beautiful and owns [natural] large breasts, just as it is rare for a man to be handsome and own a large penis. It's like winning the lottery twice. If we all held expectations that high, there would be a lot fewer happy couples. I'm sure your boyfriend is extremely happy with what he's "settled" for. To expect any better than what he already has would be completely idiotic on his part. Would you kick a gorgeous man (with a great personality) out of the sack for having a less than average penis? I hope not :tongue:.

    These insecurities you're feeling are unjustified; women would kill for your physique. Be happy with what you have.
     
  12. kazooplayer

    kazooplayer New Member

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    First of all, thank you for sharing, Voyeuristic, you never know who you're helping (besides yourself) when you bring these issues forward.

    Second, I wish there was some golden thread of advice that could make your insecurities dissolve, but there isn't - it's an every day battle. The problem with insecurities like these is that they feed themselves; you feel insecure, which makes you look around more and it constantly reinforces your position. Understand that when you're looking to find examples of how small boobs are so terrible, you will find them. This is something I'm very familiar with, as on occasion, I like to make myself feel terrible, and I'm pretty adept at it. I'm a naturally skinny dude, and when the fancy strikes me, I find myself looking for examples of how guys my size are weak and useless and way less than ideal... it's crazy, to be sure, but it's amazing how often I find myself doing it.

    For what it's worth, I find big boobs to be a turnoff. I like A's and B's, I'll deal with C's, but I straight up could never date a girl with D's or more. Also, I know you said your boyfriend checks out women with big tits, but don't confuse looking at with wanting. I HAVE to look at really fat people when they walk by, but I wouldn't say I want them. Of course I look at big tits when they're around - it's hard to look anywhere else, but when it comes time to knock boots, I prefer to keep big tits out of the bedroom.

    P.S. - I'm a total ass man, and your ass looks great in those pics :)
     
  13. paneros

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    Well, there's a lot in there, but to start redressing some of the balance, here's some replies from my experience.

    Men DON"T sit around making fun of women with small chests, nor do they pity them. Why would they? And if they did, then they'd be behaving like assholes, so why whould you choose to pay attention to such nonsense?
    Individuals, male and female, have different tastes when it comes to their body preferences, some men like big breasts, some medium sized, some small; that's the way it is, and that's fine... you, as you say, have perky and nicely shaped ones. That'd do it for me, and for many men I know. Big certainly isn't everything, that's why we have phrases such as "small but perfectly formed"; "more than a handful is a waste".

    You may have hit the nail on the head where you say "I just can't stop obsessing over statistics and polls now....". If all of what you're reading is triggering an insecurity within you, then it might be a good idea to stop reading - as you suggested - for a while to give your head a break, as your thoughts are currently not supporting you in a positive way, so no point feeding them more!
    And when your head chills a bit, have a look at WHY you were obsessing about the information ... you don't HAVE to react that way, you could just say "some men like bigger breasts", accept it, and relax about it, in the same way that it is reasonable to accept that some men like smaller breasts, as it certainly isn't true that all men like large breasts.

    And remember that your boyfriends preference, (and your previous ones) is not related to the "average" response taken from a poll, but is an individual preference which an actual individual man has. Averages distort actuals, and we live in the real world of actuals, whereas averages are just numbers (When have you actually seen an actual American family with 2.5 kids?!!). Come back to a healthy appreciation of yourself as you are.

    I would write more but it's late here now (in Ireland), so I'll finish with this tantric meditation for women, which should help you, as it is a strong meditaiton to connect with and develop your feminine energy. My lover has been doing this for a few weeks and she has found it amazing. It's from a book called "Tantric Love" by Sarita and Geho, which I highly recommend. I've just given the basic idea of it here.

    It's a breast meditation and helps you tune into your femininity and love yourself, and overcome any feelings of shame and not feeling 'good enough' as a woman, for whatever reason.
    Simply concentrate on the breasts, becoming one with them, forget the rest of the body, and relax into the sensations and awareness. Move your whole awareness into your breasts and feel into them, It's important to focus on both simultaneously, and allow whatever happens to happen and flow through you, continuing to stay focused on your breasts.

    Wishing you all the best.

    Insecurities... who needs 'em?!!
     
  14. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I'm not saying you should, but breast enhancement is an option.

    When I look at the majority of women here, it makes me want to starve myself.
     
  15. karldergrosse

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    You make ze joke, no...? If not, read and reread Paneros's post again and again, carefully and thoughtfully...! Could it be said any better...? [And for what it's worth, take a look at my comment on your Spread photo--see what an effect you have on my 1%...!!! ...No, don't knock it--think what an achievement of yours it is to overcome 99%...!!!]

    And P.S. Any person, male or female, who mocks anybody for his/her natural body traits is a miserable asshole who should be pilloried and mocked him/herself...! There's nothing more vicious or reprehensible...the world can do without them...!
     
    #15 karldergrosse, May 27, 2009
    Last edited: May 27, 2009
  16. naughty

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    Though I am a heterosexual female, I have to say that you are cute as a button and perfect just the way you are. Though some women with larger breast enjoy and appreciate the, there are others who have back problems and other issues because of them.
     
  17. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    when i go to the strip club i'd say more women are almost flat chested than ample chested. when i pay attention to who makes the most money- oddly i dont see the big natural boobs make anymore money than the thin a-cup women. ive been many times and sat there for hours. i was surprised. i think its because finding a woman as thin as yourself with large natural breasts is like the holy grail.

    it doesnt help that the most prolific thread at lpsg is "huge natural tits on a thin body" thread. its popular because its so rare. its rarer than the perfect male body with a huge dick that gets super hard and lasts forever.

    i didnt have much in the way of boobs before gaining some weight. on most of us weight = boobs. it means you would have to give up your thin figure to get them naturally. note many of us weigh probably 50lbs more than you do, we dont have flat tummies or thin arms and legs. it's the pros and cons of having boobs you have to consider.

    it's also a bitch to try to find specialty bras, even better they are very expensive. the con that i can think of that personally effects me is that they get hot, sweaty and in the summer i get rashes from having a deeper crease.

    i think what it comes down to is- you should get to know what it feels like to have them without having to commit to them and make up your mind based on the experience you have with your current breasts or larger breasts. you might not like going to the grocery store with floppy tits without a bra. i have to constantly plan ahead on what im going to wear and how the bra situation is going to be managed. you might even decide you like YOUR body better. i think its more to do with curiosity than insecurity.
     
  18. Not_Punny

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    My guy isn't into boobs at all. He's an ass man.
     
  19. kazooplayer

    kazooplayer New Member

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    That's something I can agree with. I think, more often than not, it's not that we don't necessarily like what we are/have, it's just that we want to try something else. When we start to wonder what it's like to be different, I think some of us naturally assume it would be worse, and some of us assume it would be better. For those of us who assume it would be better, we tear ourselves up thinking life would be "so much better if..."

    Life is cruel :)
     
  20. Airport Strip

    Airport Strip New Member

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    My kind of girl :smile:. Honestly, ass is more important than breasts to many, many guys. Oh, and no bra is amazing!!!
     
    #20 Airport Strip, May 28, 2009
    Last edited: May 28, 2009
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