This wholeTwilight Vampire New Werewolf Moon Madness...

HazelGod

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Bbucko

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Seriously?

Jesus tapdancing Christ almighty.
:rolleyes:

By this stupid-ass "reasoning," there shouldn't be any discussion of this movie, nor the books from whence they came, here at all, because they (gasp!) star minors!

I'm unclear as to when both Men's Health and Rolling Stone magazines became so evil that links to their covers can no longer be tolerated here. Isn't this an example of overzealous moderation?
 

Flashy

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i do not know what is going on here...

what do these links to minors have to do with these vampire films?
 

Flashy

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well, okay...i finally was forced to see Twilight.

I was with a nice, much younger woman last night, about 23 or so, just out of college...being that i am now 38, dating much younger women is a rather nice bonus...they are much easier to impress yet, unfortunately, from a generational and conventional wisdom standpoint tend to be incredibly stupid...

so i have been courting her for a couple of weeks now...anyhoo, as part of my efforts to get her in to the sack, i found out that she loved the whole twilight thing...and she had begged me to see it...as it was "Like, sooooo amazing" (ugh)...so she informed me that it was on last night, and we should watch it..."pleaaaase...you will like, soooooo love it...i promise...it is like...i cannot even to describe it...."

so, assuming that this "film" would make her incredibly pliable and horny, i relented...we had some dinner, and snuggled up on the couch to watch it on my big screen.

Suffice it to say, i think my brain melted from the stupidity...i cannot recall being so utterly baffled by the vapid stupidity of a film (this was the original and first one just "Twilight" not the one with the new moon :rolleyes:....)

but of course the whole time, the young lady was squirming and whimpering and the occasional sob would escape from her...i also greatly appreciated her narration, since obviously, she assumed i was stupid since i had never heard of vampires before...she offered helpful tips such as:

"You see, he is like, immortal...cause he is a vampire" (to which i replied, yeah but not if you stab him with a stake and then cut his head off and burn him) to which she said "well yeah, but like, otherwise he is immortal"

or

"You see, his skin is ice cold, because like, he is immortal" to which I replied "because he is a vampire, right?" to which she replied "exactly...and so he can like, never die".

or

"that is his family, and like, they are all vampires too, so they cannot, like, die, either" to which i replied "because they are vampires and they are immortals"..."exactly" she said.

and

"you see all the people that are like, dying, are being killed by the other vampires, who are like, really mean, and like do not get along with Edward's family of vampires, because they are like, mean, and not like, nice, like Edward's family".

and

"You see, they like the Seattle like...ummm...nature" to which i replied "you mean the pacific northwest?" to which she said "right...the uhhh, like, seattle northwest, because it is always like rainy and like, cloudy" to which i said "they enjoy the rainy and temperate climate of the region" to which she replied "exactly...because it is like, cooler and like rainier...which is easier for them..." "because they are immortal vampires" ( i said)..."Exactly!" she said.

or

"You see, he like, stopped the car from like crushing her, because like, he is so strong because he is like, immortal"..."because he is a vampire" (i said) "exactly," my intellectual date said.

so this went on and on for two hours...at the end, with teary eyes she turned to me and said "did you like, toooooootallllllly love it?"

i replied "Yes...yes i did...it was very moving"

to make a long story short, though, this retarded movie does happen to act like spanish fly on its legion of female fans, so i did manage to fuck her last night....and plan to do so many more times until i get bored hearing about vampires and until she forces me to watch the sequel.

she is a nice girl, and has huge tits...i can deal with the stupidity and vampires for a while i guess.

however, if at any point, she begins to ask me to say "I love you, Bella, i will always protect you"...or she starts shrieking "fuck me, Edward, penetrate me with your immortal vampire organ", that will be the end of that.

god what an awful movie. :mad:
 

Xcuze

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I think this vampire fad is a bit overdone at the moment. I started watching True blood but it didn't grip me after a few episodes. Well made but very limited with its theme.

Near dark is a great film. I liked the first Blade too. I also love those old Hammer horror films with Christopher Lee. Thats it.
 

Maxime_

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Honestly I do love Twilight. I skipped it for a long time,until i came accross a sale on the movie. It was 10$ so i decided to buy it and see what it was about....i really fell in love with the characters and for the story. It is not really about vampires and wolves. it is more about love between opposite worlds brought to the extreme. What really catches you is how this story is a sort of modern Romeo and Juliet,with a passion that is really uncommon in most movies nowadays. He,ROBERT Pattinson is a really hot guy. You can't watch the movie and not fall in love with him. He is sooooo charming!and his way of talking is sexy too!What is also very attractive is that it is a romantic story mixed with thriller,horror and adventure movie. So almost every type of movie lover can be accomodated. The power and at the same time the "non-melodramatic tone"(which is the most common risk when presenting a love story) of this love is the thing that made people go crazy about it!
I think you should really watch the movie and really understand what it is about. It's not vampires and wolves and boring characters!:)

P.S. I am not one of the teenage guys fainting when they see Robert Pattinson or whatever.....;-)!
 

Maxime_

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well, okay...i finally was forced to see Twilight.

god what an awful movie. :mad:

You didn't seem to have caught the sense of it. The concepts behind the story are very deep. It is firstly about something people are starting to question now: "If Medicine will always be improving,and as a consequence life will always be getting longer,how will we relate to the concept of eternity?what will really count for us if we could live "forever"?". And also:" How do we relate to the concept of eternal love?does it exist?would we keep on loving forever someone we love now,if we really could?" "How can people who are different in their nature,still stay together?will true love overcome all differences and problems?and how?".
These are just a few examples. You always need to read between the lines. It is not just plain and simple. I think it is also a great movie because of the big themes behind it!Think about it! ;-)
 

Ethyl

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to make a long story short, though, this retarded movie does happen to act like spanish fly on its legion of female fans, so i did manage to fuck her last night....and plan to do so many more times until i get bored hearing about vampires and until she forces me to watch the sequel.
Warning: if you enjoy how good she is in bed don't let her talk you into watching the sequel. You'll drop her like a hot rock. :tongue:
 

cdarro

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I don't get it either. On the other hand, when I was young (pre-teen) I thought vampires were pretty cool. John Carpenter"s "Vampires" with James Woods and Daniel Baldwin wasn't all bad. And there was a film with Lance Hendriksen ("Near Dark", I think) that was mildly entertaining.
 

Flashy

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Warning: if you enjoy how good she is in bed don't let her talk you into watching the sequel. You'll drop her like a hot rock. :tongue:

well...i am using "New Moon" as the ace up my sleeve to convince her to do more naughty things, that she might not otherwise do...:wink:

if i have to watch the next one, i am going to need some serious concessions :biggrin1:
 

Flashy

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You didn't seem to have caught the sense of it. The concepts behind the story are very deep.

um yeah...i caught the sense of it:

1. teenagers are still gullible
2. it is a silly teenager film made to suck huge amounts of money from silly teens.


and no, the concept of the story is not deep...at all.

lonely, isolated teen finds love with perfect, immortal, handsome man...very deep indeed.



It is firstly about something people are starting to question now: "If Medicine will always be improving,and as a consequence life will always be getting longer,how will we relate to the concept of eternity?what will really count for us if we could live "forever"?".

um...no. it did nothing on that topic...there was nothing regarding medicine and longevity whatsoever, and that is an entirely different topic that has been discussed long before the silliness of Twilight.

And also:" How do we relate to the concept of eternal love?does it exist?would we keep on loving forever someone we love now,if we really could?" "How can people who are different in their nature,still stay together?will true love overcome all differences and problems?and how?".
These are just a few examples.

oh, is that what it was? yeah...eternal love has never been dealt with on film before.

but now, suddenly, a silly teen movie has nailed it perfectly...

and sorry...the eternal love concept was not "deep"...it was right on the surface...and it was a rather silly version of it as well.


You always need to read between the lines. It is not just plain and simple. I think it is also a great movie because of the big themes behind it!Think about it! ;-)[

well, thank goodness...here i thought it was just a silly teen movie about a vampire in love with a human...yet it was somehow, so much more.

if only i could have read between the lines wen i wasn't snorting at the stupidity of the lines and cringing at the terrible acting.

i gave two hours of thought to it...that was more than enough...it was not Casablanca for gods sake.
 

DiscoBoy

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Oh, come on, you can't say that you didn't love the part where he seemingly gags and chokes as she walks into the classroom. :rolleyes:

Or when they have that ever thrilling confrontation in the woods regarding his being. I could feel her intensity. :rolleyes:

Or just any one part of that stupid film. I'm convinced that either he's gay or she's a lesbian (or both), because seriously, there was no chemistry whatsoever. Most unintentionally awkward on-screen couple ever.