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So in my early fifties I have a bromance that is hands down the best friendship of my life. The guy is 100% straight but very in key with his emotions and sexuality. The magic of this bromance is that I have zero emotional or physical attraction to him - it is the purest friendship of my life. True bro love without ulterior motives.
Things were going along swimmingly. I'm bi and out to my beloved female partner of more than 10 years. It's been a very long and difficult trip out the closet but out of respect for her I keep my sexuality sealed. I have admitted it to previous bromances and that has proved to be catastrophic - particularly because there was some sort of physical or emotional connection in those cases. I've learned to keep my mouth shut.
Nonethless, three incidents in my past (all known to my partner) have been revealed through a mutual coworker, and have led my friend to know enough about me for the closet door to have opened. I feel no desire or duty or responsibility to tell him anything, mostly to protect my partners dignity but also because it's none of his business what goes on behind closed doors - regardless whether he's my best friend or not. The result is that his innate homophobia has been unleashed. It's not terrible in a 'lets go beat up the gays' sort of way but it's subtle and has definitely changed the dynamics of the friendship.
As of now, we are still in a bromance but the 'innocence' has darkened and been replaced by plenty of gay slurs and comments, no doubt designed to test my reaction.
So straight guys - I'd very much like to know where you are in this situation. You're in a bromance with a guy and it turns out that although he's ostensibly straight with a female partner you like, there are far too many rumors and evidence of him being bi or gay. In fact, due to certain (innocent) behaviors you've witnessed yourself, you start to believe it. Do you lose respect for your friend, downgrade the bromance, think he's doing the dirty on his lady as well as his friends, or do you just decide that as its between your friend and his lady, it's none of your business and continue as normal?
Eager to hear any thoughts.
Things were going along swimmingly. I'm bi and out to my beloved female partner of more than 10 years. It's been a very long and difficult trip out the closet but out of respect for her I keep my sexuality sealed. I have admitted it to previous bromances and that has proved to be catastrophic - particularly because there was some sort of physical or emotional connection in those cases. I've learned to keep my mouth shut.
Nonethless, three incidents in my past (all known to my partner) have been revealed through a mutual coworker, and have led my friend to know enough about me for the closet door to have opened. I feel no desire or duty or responsibility to tell him anything, mostly to protect my partners dignity but also because it's none of his business what goes on behind closed doors - regardless whether he's my best friend or not. The result is that his innate homophobia has been unleashed. It's not terrible in a 'lets go beat up the gays' sort of way but it's subtle and has definitely changed the dynamics of the friendship.
As of now, we are still in a bromance but the 'innocence' has darkened and been replaced by plenty of gay slurs and comments, no doubt designed to test my reaction.
So straight guys - I'd very much like to know where you are in this situation. You're in a bromance with a guy and it turns out that although he's ostensibly straight with a female partner you like, there are far too many rumors and evidence of him being bi or gay. In fact, due to certain (innocent) behaviors you've witnessed yourself, you start to believe it. Do you lose respect for your friend, downgrade the bromance, think he's doing the dirty on his lady as well as his friends, or do you just decide that as its between your friend and his lady, it's none of your business and continue as normal?
Eager to hear any thoughts.