Holy smokes, LPSG is not only fun and sometimes, ahem, mesmerizing, it turns out for this Newbie, to be edifying as well. See Mom, I learned a new word in school today: Triorchidism! Okay Mom, leave the room...you can't read this. Shoo...
This is a true story, pals. I had an interesting experience with a devilish man in Tacoma, Washington; a somewhat skanky, polluted, meth-lab-ridden city that can, otherwise, be a cockhound's goldmine... as it is a major port on bustling Puget Sound, surrounded by three military bases, an Indian reservation and only a 45 minute drive south of boom town Seattle. Ship Ahoy!
The man in question and I, quickly made what, in polite society could be called inappropriate introductions. Thankfully, we were not in polite society. It was a pleasantly, piss-smelling, damp little cottage in a secluded park, on a quiet, rainy, weekday afternoon. Very romantic. And the cops were all downtown at the donut shop, as usual! As we, gropingly, got to know each other, Levi's flying open, (my favorite sound), I was startled, I looked down, then into his eyes, and he said, simply, "Yep".
(Ahh... I don't know about you, but, I find monosyllabic men sexy, even endearing... something left over from the couple of years of my delinquent youth, spent working on the docks as a longshoreman, I suppose. Today, I am finding that this Love that dare not speak a complete sentence, is being rekindled in me on LPSG Chat.)
Well, aside from having a much larger than average, plum-headed Johnson, this roughly, handsome, stocky gentleman did indeed have three balls. Large ones at that. One noticeably larger than the other two, packed in a leathery, hairless scrotum. Intriguing, as opposed to grotesque, to me. Not being a doctor, I did not ask him to cough or anything, nor did I ask questions that, for him, and therefore, for both of us, might ruin the moment, but, I sure did some thorough investigating. Luckily, we remained uninterrupted for our enjoyable get-together.
I wouldn't know if one of them were vestigial or not, it hadn't crossed my mind that there was a problem, but, all three were firm, separate units. As a big fan of big balls, as well as large cocks, I had hit Paydirt! Eureka! The Holy Trinity!
I couldn't care less if all three balls were functional. I can, however, attest to the fact, that after a satisfying amount of time for both of us, he shot a wad that gives excellent meaning to the word "load". A good time was had by all...
Except, perhaps, the janitor.
About a year later, in an equallly romantic spot, we had another encounter. This time we talked. Turns out he was quite proud of his third nut and thrilled by the attention it brought him. He wants to donate them to the University of Washington when he dies. So Civic-minded!
He did not, however, bend on his knee and propose marriage. Oh, well. Can't remember his name anyway...
To the lucky few here: You are not alone. Come out, come out where ever you are! I think you will be delighted to find that you will attract any number of eager beavers who will gladly glom onto your nutsack like there's no tomorrow, and be very happy they are juggling with a complete set of three balls, instead of two. Guys, I would not be surprised to find out that a larger than imagined percentage of boys are born with three testicles. Another fact of human life hidden away by religion-induced childhood shame or the surgeons' knife and the World Order's obsession with normalcy. (Don't get me started on that!)
Gentlemen, I salute you! Please form a Club so that I might attend your first convention. Heck, I'll design the invites and fliers, pro bono. Don't worry, I'll mop the floor, as well...
-Steve
