Threesomes and thruples

[WillyLong]

Threesomes and Thruples. Who's had them? Been in them? Are in a three-way relationship at the moment?

 

[winesthel945]

I was in a threesome -- we referred to it as a triad -- for 4 years. Most triads/threesomes *hate* the term "thruple," just FYI. ;-)

It was an interesting experience, not for everyone, and requires a lot of maturity, self-understanding and communication. Our triad ended fairly amicably after 4 years, not due to any particular issues with the three-way dynamic, rather some individual personality and mental health issues that would have made even a binary relationship challenging. I know triads who have been together for coming on 10 years, and others that imploded after only 2 or 3 years.

 

[WillyLong]

 

[gaymixedblackguy]

Its my dream to have a relationship like this.

 

[nickinoo]

I've had one threesome. Never again, it was awful.

 

[Jarizzi]

I've had one threesome. Never again, it was awful.

Why was it so bad?

 

[nickinoo]

Why was it so bad?

I was kind of forced into it.

I was on holiday in Spain with my friend. He chatted to someone on a gay dating app while I was having a nap. He woke me up and said a guy is coming to the apartment for a threesome in a bit. Thanks for asking me!

The guy was not even attractive, even my friend agreed. And I ended up having to do all the work as my friend insisted he didn't like the way the guy smelled. I agreed but I just did it to get it it over with.

I never had any intention to have a threesome as the thought never turned me on. This experience confirmed my dislike for them.

 

[winesthel945]

I was kind of forced into it.

I was on holiday in Spain with my friend. He chatted to someone on a gay dating app while I was having a nap. He woke me up and said a guy is coming to the apartment for a threesome in a bit. Thanks for asking me!

The guy was not even attractive, even my friend agreed. And I ended up having to do all the work as my friend insisted he didn't like the way the guy smelled. I agreed but I just did it to get it it over with.

I never had any intention to have a threesome as the thought never turned me on. This experience confirmed my dislike for them.

I know what you mean. I once ate a terrible meal. I'm never eating again. ;-)

 

[nickinoo]

I know what you mean. I once ate a terrible meal. I'm never eating again. ;-)

I know what you're saying. This experience alone shouldn't be enough to put me off a threesome for life. But I was really against having a threesome in he first place. Not for any moral reason or anything, I just don't know if I could handle it emotionally. Maybe if I did it with two hot strangers I would be so emotionally detached that it wouldn't matter.

I'm just worried about feeling jealousy, or feeling left out of the situation, or either of the other guys feeling that way. I feel like some of the intimacy is lost in a threesome because you are sharing it with one more person.

I don't judge anyone else who enjoys threesomes, good for you. Maybe I just need to chill out, and I don't rule out trying it again. But my instincts tell me not to do it.

 

[winesthel945]

I know what you're saying. This experience alone shouldn't be enough to put me off a threesome for life. But I was really against having a threesome in he first place. Not for any moral reason or anything, I just don't know if I could handle it emotionally. Maybe if I did it with two hot strangers I would be so emotionally detached that it wouldn't matter.

I'm just worried about feeling jealousy, or feeling left out of the situation, or either of the other guys feeling that way. I feel like some of the intimacy is lost in a threesome because you are sharing it with one more person.

I don't judge anyone else who enjoys threesomes, good for you. Maybe I just need to chill out, and I don't rule out trying it again. But my instincts tell me not to do it.

It took 6 years of monogamous commitment before my ex and I ventured into 3-way territory. And we had a bunch of rules and requirements, e.g., we had to both find the third attractive and him us, we agreed that we'd be sure both of us were getting equal time and attention, or equally maintaining interest and no nervousness, or we could pull the ejector cord and everything stopped immediately, and we also made sure the 3rd understood this was new for us and that if we bailed it wasn't about him, no-harm/no-foul, etc. And it all worked. And so did the next one, and the next one. We had a couple of instances where things got weird and we pulled the ejector cord, talked it out, and all was sorted out. After a few years, we opened the relationship because we had reached a point where we had no fears or insecurities. We still did some 3-ways but also did our own things too.

About 6 years into our open relationship, one day we met a hot guy who was into us both and we were into him. We hooked up. We met him for drinks a few days later and hooked up again. Then a week later he came over for dinner and we all cooked and drank and he stayed the night. And after about 3-4 months of this he started leaving some clothes in a drawer. Then about a year in his apartment lease was up and he was having a hard time finding a good apartment, and we talked at some length, and he moved in. We were together for about 4 years. Yes, it ended after 4 years, for reasons that were more general personality and relationship oriented reasons, nothing particular to being in a triad. (The original relationship ended about a year later for reasons unrelated to jealousy or openness or the triad.)

I'm not saying any of that is for everyone, but you never know what you're capable of until you try. But you don't have to try. I just think, like any kind of muscle that can be strengthened with exercise, trust and love and commitment can be strengthened when you test it. I'll never forget, one night as my ex and I were lying after some pretty hot 1-on-1 sex, fueled by remembering a particularly hot 3-way. He said, "I don't know why we waited so long... Think of all the hot sex we could have been having, and how much better our own sex has been since then." I couldn't disagree.

 

[nickinoo]

It took 6 years of monogamous commitment before my ex and I ventured into 3-way territory. And we had a bunch of rules and requirements, e.g., we had to both find the third attractive and him us, we agreed that we'd be sure both of us were getting equal time and attention, or equally maintaining interest and no nervousness, or we could pull the ejector cord and everything stopped immediately, and we also made sure the 3rd understood this was new for us and that if we bailed it wasn't about him, no-harm/no-foul, etc. And it all worked. And so did the next one, and the next one. We had a couple of instances where things got weird and we pulled the ejector cord, talked it out, and all was sorted out. After a few years, we opened the relationship because we had reached a point where we had no fears or insecurities. We still did some 3-ways but also did our own things too.

About 6 years into our open relationship, one day we met a hot guy who was into us both and we were into him. We hooked up. We met him for drinks a few days later and hooked up again. Then a week later he came over for dinner and we all cooked and drank and he stayed the night. And after about 3-4 months of this he started leaving some clothes in a drawer. Then about a year in his apartment lease was up and he was having a hard time finding a good apartment, and we talked at some length, and he moved in. We were together for about 4 years. Yes, it ended after 4 years, for reasons that were more general personality and relationship oriented reasons, nothing particular to being in a triad. (The original relationship ended about a year later for reasons unrelated to jealousy or openness or the triad.)

I'm not saying any of that is for everyone, but you never know what you're capable of until you try. But you don't have to try. I just think, like any kind of muscle that can be strengthened with exercise, trust and love and commitment can be strengthened when you test it. I'll never forget, one night as my ex and I were lying after some pretty hot 1-on-1 sex, fueled by remembering a particularly hot 3-way. He said, "I don't know why we waited so long... Think of all the hot sex we could have been having, and how much better our own sex has been since then." I couldn't disagree.

4 years is pretty impressive. It obviously had a lot going for it. You're lucky that you had two other people that could make it work for so long! For most people, relationships with one other are complicated enough!

 

[WillyLong]

 

[rjmoody]

My husband is poly, I'm generally mono but play some. I am older than him by a number of years and I'm a sub with a small dick. I like my place.

The young boys target my husband as a hung daddy, which he is. One in particular is beating the others back and is now called "the boyfriend." He stays over often and I sleep alone those nights. His lease is up May 1 and I'm sure he will move in. He is 23, hung, tall, muscular, and a great bottom. I'm around 45, have what is often called "the smallest dick I've ever seen," I'm short, muscular, and a great bottom. Boyfriend gives better head...I gag on my husband. I'm sexually inferior to boyfriend and I've known it since I met him. He is gifted.

We are headed toward a poly v, with husband as the hinge, and me emotionally with him but out of the sexual play. The big dicks tell me my place and I do as I'm told.

We will see how it plays out. The bf has targeted my beta ass, and he is winning the conquest right now. But I have power too, and I'll use it if I must.

 

[LeftCoast]

Have you had sex with the boyfriend?

 

[Stratavos]

My husband is poly, I'm generally mono but play some. I am older than him by a number of years and I'm a sub with a small dick. I like my place.

The young boys target my husband as a hung daddy, which he is. One in particular is beating the others back and is now called "the boyfriend." He stays over often and I sleep alone those nights. His lease is up May 1 and I'm sure he will move in. He is 23, hung, tall, muscular, and a great bottom. I'm around 45, have what is often called "the smallest dick I've ever seen," I'm short, muscular, and a great bottom. Boyfriend gives better head...I gag on my husband. I'm sexually inferior to boyfriend and I've known it since I met him. He is gifted.

We are headed toward a poly v, with husband as the hinge, and me emotionally with him but out of the sexual play. The big dicks tell me my place and I do as I'm told.

We will see how it plays out. The bf has targeted my beta ass, and he is winning the conquest right now. But I have power too, and I'll use it if I must.

that's a complex situation though thank you for sharing it with us
not everything is peach perfect after all :s

 

[rjmoody]

No.

Have you had sex with the boyfriend?

 

[WillyLong]

 

[WillyLong]

I may have to watch this show just to see what happens.