I understand that every community has its standards and orthodoxy and heretics, whether on-line or flesh-and-blood. LPSG, like every other community, has its standards and I appreciate them. I have no wish to upset anybody, nor am I a troll at all. Im a 47-year old man who has lived with HIV, in one way or another, since the first news of the gay cancer broke in 1981, when I was 21. By then Id already been sexually active (and adventurous) for four years and was almost certainly already infected. I saw friends, tricks, boyfriends and lovers drop around me like flies right up until 1996 and the age of Protease Inhibitors, when the deaths slowed (but never actually stopped). I stopped counting my losses at 60, that milestone occurring in the early-90s. No one needs to remind me what a scourge HIV/AIDS is to society or mankind in general. Ive been on the front lines of the pandemic practically all my adult life. The virus has changed my life in ways most here could never imagine, and living with the constant adjustments and compromises (ranging from the crushing blow of burying a partner to seeing my finances collapse) has altered my perceptions on a fundamental level. My own health has been very precarious at times, although Im fine at this moment. I have flat-lined twice. In addition to HIV, I live with chronic pain brought on by years of damage to my arthritic neck. Every day is a challenge to be lived as completely as possible for me, because I understand how fragile everything is very well. Three years ago I ended a nine-year relationship that was sexless and highly dysfunctional (for many reasons, HIV included but not principally among them). When I first came back to the dating scene I was very confused by the mixed signals and disparate messages regarding what is probably best described as the new gay sexual paradigm. I met HIV poz guys who were re-writing the rules Id lived with since the 80s. I began a quest for research that eventually led me to AIDSmeds.com, an on-line support community owned and operated (at the time) by HIV poz individuals. The thing that appealed to me most was the rigorous scientific approach to debate regarding all information regarding living with the virus. There is so much emotionalism within the HIV dialog which, as understandable as it is, can cloud rational discussions about a broad range of issues, most especially sex. Sex is extremely difficult for many HIV poz individuals to discuss because of the stigma attached both to the virus and the risky practices required for its transmission. The guilt that pervades so many of us living with HIV has rendered many with fear and loathing regarding the entire topic. I personally had been caught in the same pattern of thinking. But Ive always maintained the libido is the emotional overlay on our most basic instinct: that of reproduction. Even if gay sexuality never leads to reproduction, it comes from what is essentially the same place in our brains, and as such hold tremendous power over our lives. There are many reasons why poz guys engage in unprotected sex with each other. Some yearn for a sense of intimacy they only find that way, others are looking for adventure that is deemed forbidden. The actual science of Superinfection/Reinfection remains sketchy, with fewer than ten documented cases among the hundreds of thousands of people living with HIV in Europe and the US (where we are perhaps the most monitored medical group ever in existence). Given the huge numbers of people and encounters, a problem would have made itself more obvious by now, in the opinion of many. So we have a mirror-image to HIV prevention efforts: those already having lived long-term with the virus are practicing Serosorting (ie: only having sex with other pozfolk). This is one of the best ways (short of total abstinence) to prevent the transmission of the virus to the negative community. I am a staunch believer of such practices and follow it in my life without exception. Let me also state here that I am not advocating that anyone do anything that makes them uncomfortable or puts them at risk for contacting HIV. I have put far too many years into preaching the prevention message to do otherwise. Likewise, I am not an HIV minimizer nor a denialist. Many of the newly-infected are given hope through what is called HIV-Lite, where you take your meds everyday and live an otherwise unaffected life. I have suffered too many side-effects for too many years to believe such fairy tales. There is an argument that unprotected sex breeds STD-superbugs untreatable by regular anti-biotics. I have friends who have spent weeks on IV drips for such things. I know they exist. I myself had two UTIs last summer that were painful and nasty to treat. It slowed me way down after a hedonistic summer last year. I am by no means a sociopath. I simply choose to live whatever is left of my life on my own terms. My ethics dictate how to balance things, and most of the time I do just fine. When I fuck up, its I who suffers the brunt of the injury. But is there room for honestly and frankly discussing how I feel about sex and sexuality without constantly devolving into a flame-war or upsetting the community standards of LPSG?