"Time outs" for snot-nosed brats creating liberal culture

[quercusone]

I'm a liberal and I wouldn't hesitate to beat the shit out of you.

 

[invisibleman]

Problem kids?!! Kids aren't responsible for their DNA. :biggrin1:

But parents shouldn't give up on their kids if they are problematic. Parents have to be more involved with their kids these days.

If parents are going to discipline their kids, let their kids know why they are being disciplined, be consistent, and do not play into favoritism. And if you overdiscipline your kids, kids remember that and learn to do that to their own kids.

Kids need to value education. The importance of being able to read, speak, utilize logic skills and creativity. Kids need to feel free to express themselves with their parents. Have a low tolerance for disrespect in parent-children communication.

Kids need hobbies. Summer camp. Summer school. Family vacations--camping, fishing, hikes, and retreats. Going to museums, zoos, as well as a few amusement parks.

Everyone was a kid once. Remember those times.

 

[Drifterwood]

Where would we be if US kids weren't taught the invaluable lesson of using superior force to get what you want?

Star, how do you punish a kid who has been violent? Of course, use violence against them. That will teach them eh?

Does anyone else wonder where this joker gets off? But haven't you had predominantly right wing government since Ronnie. Shouldn't you be looking at all your social issues within this context?

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

its a shame that some very good pieces of advice were given here by me and several others, totally to have them be ignored and replaced with shit that tries to outdo the "asburdity"

Im embarassed i even spent my time trying to talk candidly in this thread- all for not.

 

[Drifterwood]

Using violence against a child not only shows that you have failed as a parent, but also that you are a child abuser and would face criminal prosecution in my country.

Vince knows what he is talking about in this thread. When a problem has happened, you have failed to a greater or lesser extent. Spending quality time with children is the way to prevent many problems, thrashing them when you haven't is not a cure.

 

[Gillette]

Where would we be if US kids weren't taught the invaluable lesson of using superior force to get what you want?

Spankings are hardly the sole invention of the USA. Considering where the country's founders came from I daresay the original source of this practice lies elsewhere. Your political point in this thread is as absurd as Star's lib v. dem points.

Using violence against a child not only shows that you have failed as a parent, but also that you are a child abuser and would face criminal prosecution in my country.

Vince knows what he is talking about in this thread. When a problem has happened, you have failed to a greater or lesser extent. Spending quality time with children is the way to prevent many problems, thrashing them when you haven't is not a cure.

Confining someone against their will is also illegal. Why then are time outs okay?

I read Vince's post and while it made excellent points I'm left with the question of how to entrench the message of no means no in a child whose comprehension of language is weak to nil.

 

[Drifterwood]

Spankings are hardly the sole invention of the USA. Considering where the country's founders came from I daresay the original source of this practice lies elsewhere. Your political point in this thread is as absurd as Star's lib v. dem points.

The OP is solely about a situation as assessed in the US. As I said, if you use violence against a child in the UK, you can be arrested and charged as a child abuser.



Confining someone against their will is also illegal. Why then are time outs okay?

I read Vince's post and while it made excellent points I'm left with the question of how to entrench the message of no means no in a child whose comprehension of language is weak to nil.

I can tell when you are pissed off when you are three thousand miles away. Do you think a child is not going to understand when their parent/s are pissed off when they are talking face to face?

Good parents do not need to direct anger supported by violence at their children. I have no problem with anger, anger is a disappointment, a hurt to the parent. Perhaps the real question is whether we mollycoddle children in the sense of not letting them know when they have transgressed. You don't have to thrash them to get this message across.

 

[sparky11point5]

I was reading a biography of Lincoln recently, and it pointed out that he and his wife were famously permissive with their kids. They both felt very strongly that children should not be spanked, or even checked, in any way. The Lincoln kids had the run of the Whitehouse, and were often disrupting meetings. Lincoln's law partner once remarked that Lincoln's son could 'shit in his hat' and Lincoln would think it was the greatest thing ever.

Permissive parenting has been an approach for a long time, it probably far predates our modern political labels.

 

[vince]

I read Vince's post and while it made excellent points I'm left with the question of how to entrench the message of no means no in a child whose comprehension of language is weak to nil.

A child who is one year, 18 months old, has quite good comprehension of language. They know their names, they know the names of people who are close/important to them. They can't speak, but they know meanings. But communication is not just words, as you know. Tone of voice, facial expressions, laughter, all communicate meaning.

My own daughter knew what "no" meant, very early on and it wasn't necessary to use physical force to teach it. If she repeated behavior that we didn't want, she was removed from the situation or the object of her desire was removed. When she wanted something we didn't want her to have, she didn't get it. It only takes a few times from the message to kick in. The absolute worst thing a parent can do is say "no" and then give in when she kicks up a stink about it. That sends the totally wrong and conflicting message. They learn that if the are obnoxious enough, they get their way.

The second worse thing to do is always say "no". Say "yes" most of the time. Sometimes, as she got older, I'd say no just so her could make a good case for herself. I'd let her change my mind and debate the merits of what she wanted. It's about mutual respect. If you give respect, you'll get it back.

She wasn't perfect by any stretch. But she wasn't difficult either. Of course every one has a different temperament, but really, I think that a firm, not cruel hand very early on pays dividends as the child becomes more independent. It's just common sense really.

 

[midlifebear]

Time Out was and still is effective when disciplining a 4th or 5th grader. Although I don't have any children of my own (that I know of), it was the first line of discipline when dealing with students who would disrupt class and the attention of their fellow students when I taught elementary school for 5 years. At issue is that the disruptive student/child really is wanting attention. A time out, especially in front of his or her peers, certainly puts the spot light on the child and they receive attention; just not the type of attention they were hoping for.

Starimposter is 37 years-old and doesn't have children? And this somehow puts him in a position to complain about how people raise their children? I can't think of a better example of why, in the USA, we should have a one to two year compulsory community involvement program where 17 to 19 year-old citizens are required to work in K1 through K8 classes assisting public teachers or serving in some support capacity with public social services or public health programs.

But ain't it great that people like Starimposter, who haven't a clue about reality or possess a marginally adequate education can share their two-cents with everyone else? Now, THAT'S Democracy!

By the way, my offer is still open for Starimposter and anyone else who thinks Waterboarding isn't torture, to attend a pool party at my place in Barçelona where we can play Marco/Polo and see how long Star -- or anyone else -- can hold their breath under water. Just send me a PM to make the arrangements.

 

[tripod]

Here come all the responses from the childless....this ought to be interesting.

The guy who wrote the thread doesn't have any children... so what is your point?

Parents need to foster respect and admiration from their children. If they do so, discipline will require no more than a "look and a frown".

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

The guy who wrote the thread doesn't have any children... so what is your point?

Parents need to foster respect and admiration from their children. If they do so, discipline will require no more than a "look and a frown".

I'm sorry to say, thats bullshit. My kid in no way responded to a look and a frown. She had problems interpreting facial expressions and emotion. We all had the "look and a frown" ideas.....ahhhh so long ago when we thought it wouuld be that easy.

I used to be offended when my brother told me to butt the fuck out of his disciplining his children because one day when i had my own i would see it all so differently. Boy was he ever right. All the childless people get offended by my comment, but im offended as a childless person that you think you totally understand parenting. Babysitting your nieces and nephews is not the same ballgame.

Spanking is not violence to me, it worked for me and i had very few spankings. I didn't hesitate to try it with my own child, sometimes it worked sometimes it didnt. I got creative when it didnt, and when i got creative and that wasnt working, somehow her ass needed the spanking because she got the point i was so cleverly trying to make before that.

I love the broad brush of labeling many people do who claim they dont like people doing it to them. Suddenly smacking the ass of your kid means you are a child abuser. Spare me.

 

[D_Tully Tunnelrat]

Permissive parenting has been an approach for a long time, it probably far predates our modern political labels.

Amen.

 

[Drifterwood]

I love the broad brush of labeling many people do who claim they dont like people doing it to them. Suddenly smacking the ass of your kid means you are a child abuser. Spare me.

I suppose then that you think that it is OK for your husband to slap you when he thinks you are behaving badly.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I suppose then that you think that it is OK for your husband to slap you when he thinks you are behaving badly.

Oh please, you cant use the word slap so loosely. I popped my kid one time on her ass after explaining to her why. In a very serious situation where time outs qand privilige losses were not useful. If it means that my kid got a whop on her butt for running away and hiding in public places and she responded from it and learned the seriousness of the situation, which means we dont have to call the police when we kind find her or later find her dismembered in a ditch, then call me an abuser. I'll take the label from people on the internet.

I am a very gentle parent with accolades from people who deal with special needs children for a living. What you all think here doesnt change what i decide to do with my own child. I've seen child abuse in my family and equating it shows how little you comprehend about parenting.

Go back and read my posts in this thread, because obviously you havent. i do find it interesting that if you get no cooperation from a spouse that you can leave them but you can't leave your kids and give up and divorce them. You can't equate how you would handle a 30 year old man or woman with the comprehension style of a 5 year old for example.

Anything goes around here....except for spanking your children. Interesting since people incorporate it all the time in their bedrooms and no one calls it abuse. But if you liked to punch your wife in the face and give her a black eye during sex people might consider that abuse. Slapping her ass doesnt cause her any harm or permanent damage psychologically or physically. Do you seriously thing that causes problems with a child who gets spanked rarely?

This is beyond ridiculous. Several of you are purposeful shit stirrers around here, im not surprised you'd incorporate it in this thread. Very few of you have much to say other than questioning others behavior. You put very little worth reading in your "devils advocate" postings. I poured my heart out in this thread, you, sir, just stir shit.

 

[pym]

Mademoselle.........No offense, but what could anyone reasonably expect to see as responses to a thread that is titled as preposterously as this one is?
"Time outs" for snot-nosed brats creating liberal culture"
For what it is worth, from your description of your child-rearing methodology.....i doubt that many could truly fault you here.
Respectfully
PYM

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Mademoselle.........No offense, but what could anyone reasonably expect to see as responses to a thread that is titled as preposterously as this one is?
"Time outs" for snot-nosed brats creating liberal culture"
For what it is worth, from your description of your child-rearing methodology.....i doubt that many could truly fault you here.
Respectfully
PYM

I didn't even realize this was on a politics forum until after i got involved or else i would have avoided it. I feel very strongly about parenting as i've been put through the ringer trying to be the best parent for my particular child. I chose to have only one child because its been a bigger undertaking than i ever expected it to be.

Sadly, i spent too much time explaining myself, to people who just non-chalantly provoke arguments because thats what they thrive on. I've seen them do it many mant times before. Some people can't converse in a normal tit for tat fashion. They must push people to their limits and thats why they love the politics board.

I don't appreciate it one bit and i'll be much more cautious to not step in here and try to politely talk about something i know a hell of a lot about. Because the responses from the "regs" of this forum are done in a fashion where all guns are blazing. They know no other way.

 

[B_nuketully]

I have no kids.

Spank your kids, don't beat them

If my parents hadn't spanked me as a kid...I would be dead or in jail.

 

[pym]

Guns Blazing is right...:biggrin1:

I can only tell you this, @ 47 years old, i know......there are some things i can NOT change. But i still enjoy a gun-fight.....:2gunsfiring_v1:.

Keep it lite.....cuz your all-rite. :wink:

 

[Drifterwood]

you, sir, just stir shit.

You couldn't be more wrong.

You either condone violence or you do not. I do not. For me, it is a fundamental.

The OP is a dipshit and thank whoever that he does not have the blessing and responsibility for the next generation.

I do not condone violence amongst adults and I certainly don't condone it between adults and children.

Your own heart pouring would be bolstered by the simple comment that you had wished that you hadn't lost it to the point that you had hit your child. This is a point of exasperation and fear that most parents will have felt I am sure, but it is a long way from what the idiot OP is promoting. Perhaps you should direct your attention towards him.