Time Spent Thinking About Sex V Time Spent Having Sex

deepvoicedan

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My partner and I have sex once a week. I spend a lot of that week thinking about it. I really want our sex sessions to last longer but they only take about 20-30mins and my partner starts to feel self conscious if they take longer.

She tends to cum very soon after first penetration and then because I know she doesn't want to carry on too long, I concentrate on myself and she usually cums again when I do.

I'd love to fool around for longer, maybe watch something with her, play around and talk and enjoy an hour or two of alone time with her but when I've suggested that, she gets uptight.

Seems to me that we have really good sex but it's brief and always on her terms and I just want a bit more. Either longer sessions or more than once a week but I'm quite big and she's small, so she's usually a bit too sore for a few days afterwards.

Anyone have similar experiences or have a different view?
 
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rbi99

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More foreplay, vibrator usage? Hold off on the penetration? My wife and I got away from intercourse because of my size (and I am not the longest lasting guy out there), and have concentrated much more on foreplay and toy usage. It's still intimate because my wife doesn't use the vibrator unless we are in bed together, and with my fingers inserted inside her vagina, I know just how intense her orgasms are - and how many. She ends up with so many that she is literally exhausted, and I am horny as hell feeling her contractions and how wet she gets. By the time she goes down on me I am almost ready to explode. After her intense blow job, I often finish it by beating off with my dick in her mouth - incredibly sexual. Other times I just play with my balls and let her control my penis from start to finish. Lots of variations there.
 
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deepvoicedan

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More foreplay, vibrator usage? Hold off on the penetration? My wife and I got away from intercourse because of my size (and I am not the longest lasting guy out there), and have concentrated much more on foreplay and toy usage. It's still intimate because my wife doesn't use the vibrator unless we are in bed together, and with my fingers inserted inside her vagina, I know just how intense her orgasms are - and how many. She ends up with so many that she is literally exhausted, and I am horny as hell feeling her contractions and how wet she gets. By the time she goes down on me I am almost ready to explode. After her intense blow job, I often finish it by beating off with my dick in her mouth - incredibly sexual. Other times I just play with my balls and let her control my penis from start to finish. Lots of variations there.

My partner seems to be too self-conscious or something for me to play with her like that during foreplay. Sometimes she lets me touch her and it's great but mostly she pushes my hand away: it's a shame because I've always been really good at that! She really enjoys playing with me and gets horny that way but she wants that the same every time.
 

rbi99

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When I first bought a vibrator and dildo for my wife, I hadn't discussed it with her prior. Her initial feelings about it when I gave them to her was total confusion and doubt about it. We started slowly in the beginning, but she handles that vibrator now as well as she handles my dick when she's blowing me!!!