Time to say GOOD BYE, THANKS..and I am a new DAD

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by D_season 5, Feb 17, 2009.

  1. D_season 5

    D_season 5 Account Disabled

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    Hi...while i haven't been on the site terrible long...and while most of my experience on here has been.......well...lets let that go....

    some things have taken place in my life that have now permanently altered my life.
    I have a pic in my gallery where i took a pic of my breeder after i left a sperm bank.
    A long time girl friend and her husband were not able to have children. they both asked me as a couple if i would donate my sperm for them.
    i agreed. and i made legal provisions in case if something happened to them that i would have full custody of my bio child or children.

    she gave birth last August to identical twin boys...we named them Q and Race....
    3 weeks ago..I gained full custody of my twin boys...there had been a fatal auto accident and my sons lost their mom and the man that they would of known as dad.
    I have full custody of my sons now. I posted their pics in a moment of excitement to show my friends on here my two sons...they are identical, and I'm still having some issues in discerning who is who, but i think i will get it.
    as most of u know, i was planning to retire at the end of Jan 09...the election was too predictable for me...and i see i was correct in moving money out of this country...and for the record...i still stand by my prediction March 09 will begin the depression of this country...
    anyway...i did retire and apparently...just in time...i had 2 weeks of golf and time with my partner of 5 yrs...and then the accident...
    so..i must leave the LPSG..i don't have time for anything any more...
    I have hired a live in nanny...she is 54 and a recent widow...
    i have a diaper service i have a milk man a cleaning lady...all to help me out with the rearing of my two sons.
    i am a hands on dad...Emma helps out with cooking, house stuff and helping me with the feeding of the boys and stuff...
    i bring them to the gym..they just started swim classes...and i don't take my eyes off them while the swim teacher is with one of them...i hold the other..
    i bring them home...and go back to the gym while they nap and emma is there to tend to them should they start to cry or need something.
    I'm learning this as i go...I'm learning from my partner and of course, im learning from the best people i know on earth..my parents..my dad...my mom..theywill be spending some time with me in a week or so...and they will get to know the boys...they do want me to move back to Chicago subs where i am from..but...im not ready for anymore change at the moment. i have had enuf change to hold me for sometime...

    for those of u guys who are thinking to donate ur sperm to have a child...get good legal counsel...make sure u have plenty of set aside reservers...you won't be working...there is no time...even tho i have two...i would think one still takes as much time...and there is no point in wanting a child then to put the child in day care...that is not parenting...sorry...its not...never will be...its why its called DAY CARE..

    if u need to email me...feel free to ask me questions that u may have about being the sole responsibility for a child.
    and like i say...im learning as i go...the boys teach me everyday something new...
    best regards,
    robbie
     
  2. SilverTrain

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    Wow. What a story. It sounds like you are excited by the prospect of raising your children. I commend you on your endeavors, and offer my sentiment that parenthood is the most rewarding experience life has to offer.

    I wish all good fortune for you and especially your children.

    Farewell
     
  3. polesmoker

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    Good luck with your boys. Have fun.
     
  4. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    oh, wow!

    ta ta!

    good luck & best wishes!
     
  5. goodwood

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    Robbie -
    I am so sorry for the loss of your friends. what a tragedy. i am thankful that you had the legal provision to care for your sons.
    it is fortuitous that you were able to retire at such a young age and be able to be a full time dad. while this is not how you were expecting to begin your retirement, you will come to enjoy it very much and despite the tragedy in the loss of your friends, i am happy you will be able to love your boys. best of luck and God bless you, your partner and your sons.
     
  6. Mr. Snakey

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    Good luck to you and be well.:smile:
     
  7. HellsKitchenmanNYC

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    Wow you thot of everything.
     
  8. MichiganRico

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    Sincere best wishes to you, your partner....and most importantly to your sons. You sound like a person who will strive to do the best for his children, and in the end, that's all any parent can do....his or her best.
     
  9. Freddie53

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    Feel free to keep y0ur account open and pop in and let us know how things are going.

    What a wonderful story and to see that it became true. You were so wise to have that legal clause in your contract so as their biological father become their legal parent should something happen to the biological mom and the step father.

    I'd advise you to make legal provsions should something happen to you. Do you want to make legal provisions concerning your partner being also a parent now or just in case something happened to you?

    If it were me, I would have my partner declared a legal guardian as well. Perhaps not a parent so that should there be a legal question, should you to end your partnership, you would be the parent with custody, but in fairness to him, to help raise the child and be a second dad and then at when the boys are age 12 to have them taken away because something happened to you would be so difficult, especially if the boys were to go to their biological grandparents and they didn't know them very well. And to lose for boys to lose one parent and then be taken away from the other parent would be devastating. No matter how you did you had guardianship legally arranged, if the boys live with both of you then he will in their eyes be a parent to them as well.

    I know you will have decisions with the grandparents of the biological mom. How much will they have contact, etc.

    Further, I adise you to tell the truth from the getgo. Little children are so accepting of what we tell them. You don't want to deal with the issue of sperm donation for the very first time at about the time those boys are entering puberty. And it is at about that age when somehow, the children find out what the parent thinks they have well hiden from their children. Then it become traumatic news.

    I started to write these suggestoins privately, then I decided that perhaps other reading this would also benefit. I am a retired teacher and also youth worker in churches. I've encoutered situations. From puberty through age 18- 20 is absolutely the worst time in a child's life to learn something unselttling and new about their origins such as adoptions deaths of real parents etc.

    I know from my own home town about a girl one year older than me. Her mother became pregnant when she was in her mid teens. The grandmother and grandfather raised the child as their own. I didn't know the situation at the time. But sure as I am writing this, someone told the girl when she was about 15 or so. (Small Town) It was unsettling to accept that her big sister was her mother. As the story ended it was the "granddaughter" who took care of her "grandmother" her last days. The "grandmother" lived to be almost 100. The biological grandmother remained Mother to the girl to the very end. But it would have been better for this knowledge which couldn't be hid from the girl forever, be told as she grew up and she not have to deal with it as a teenager.

    In this case, the question of who is my mom will surely come up before age five. My advice is tell the truth - adapted for a preschooler of course from the beginning and then add information as the boys are old enough to understand.

    Congradulations Dad. I know you will enjoy them so much. They will add years to your life, not take years away.

    Good luck to you.

    Freddie
     
  10. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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    the best for you and your kids and uhhh thanks for leaving us on a high note about 2009 being the beginning of another depression for this country.
     
  11. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Didn't this deceased couple have brothers, sisters or family who would have normally taken the children?
    It's really amazing that you would have the foresight to even think about them possibly passing away.
    I think it's lovely that you would make provisions for someone elses children.
    C.B. :saevil:
     
  12. Principessa

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    WOW! I am so sorry for the loss of your good friends. Yet happy you get to experience the joys and tribulations of being a daddy. Twins must be a handful! My only advice is sleep when you can. I'm glad you and your partner are able to afford 'help' and are able to provide them a nice life.
     
  13. Mandee

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    Good luck with everything! =)
     
  14. HellsKitchenmanNYC

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    Wow a baby named Q. Now that's new. I hope he sells a million copies of his first rap record!
     
    #14 HellsKitchenmanNYC, Feb 17, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2009
  15. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Mos' def'.:biggrin1:
    C.B.:saevil:
     
  16. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Have fun with your sons and hope you enjoy a great life!

    Goodbye! :wave:
     
  17. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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  18. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    There are still some holes, but oh well.

    I am just glad that the many, many stories are over.
     
  19. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Geez, I don't know what to say! I can imagine that the loss of your friends is absolutely crushing, but along with the pain and sorrow is two of the greatest bundles of joy you'll ever know. Where one door closes, another one opens. I wish you and yours a wonderful future! Good luck, and take care.
     
  20. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Wow we agree on this point.:eek:
    C.B.:saevil:
     
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