Time to walk away?

ben hunter

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2018
Posts
35
Media
0
Likes
140
Points
68
Location
Newcastle upon Tyne (England)
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Hi,
I met a guy (Lets call him Harry), around 6 months ago, when traveling. We seemed to hit it off and exchanged numbers, we spoke a lot and arranged other meetings (around every 3-4 weeks, or so), sometimes at his home and other times in other countries. He always claimed not to be good at booking things etc (he's around 10 years older than me), so I always booked the hotel (more often than not also ended up picking up the bill!). He did pick up some bills for dinner and other incidentals. Would always say how a big unexpected expense ame up at the last minute.

The last time we met, was at his home, he wanted to visit a naked party and the next day wanted to go to a cruising place - both are a bit out of my comfort zone, I found it a bit boring but he enjoyed watching others and touching (nothing more), he wnted us to be exclusive.

He's massivly into Instagram and frequently posts topless pictures and receives lots of DM's with naked, or near naked bodies, on a couple of occasions he's sent me messages to me saying 'Please help, all these pitures' etc one I did manage to see a couple of the screenshots. One was from someone he has previously hooked up with (he's talked about him previously) offering a BJ, it looked like Harry had initiated the convrsation, but claims that I'm wrong - Harry did send messages back that called him baby?

Within the second screenshot (different person), there is a rection to a post in 2020, then nothing upuntil a few weeks ago, which Harry asks the follower where they are from, no big deal, but that was on the day he was traveing across the country for work.

Over the las week or so, things have been a little strange, so I asked about the Insatgram messages, he blocked me on everything except WhatsApp - I think, he thinks, I wouldn't notice.

He still messages, says I love you and I Miss you etc. Looking forward to seeing you etc

We're due to meet next week, I've not booked anything.

Should I just walk away?
 

bravesoldier

Worshipped Member
Joined
May 1, 2007
Posts
3,165
Media
0
Likes
11,699
Points
418
Location
southern usa
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I'd say so.

Walking away from someone literally, is a BIG thing. So, literally doing so to me is the ultimate punch in the face and gut. It says you are no longer worthy of me and I will do the absolute worst thing I can to show you. I won't talk, discuss, reason, plead, work or try anything else with you. I will simply walk away and desert you 100% with no explanation. No answered texts, phone calls or anything.

My ex threatened walking away from our relationship once several years ago because I called his hand on his terribly hyper personality and the extreme hyper running of his mouth, which was on a daily basis. I mean, the running of his mouth was enough to make the POPE hit him. Anyway, he didn't walk away, but to hear him say that was quite an insult to the integrity of our relationship which later ended where I pretty much walked away. I didn't walk away all at once, but basically that's what I did. Reason..? We had an open relationship, but it was definitely a love relationship. We lived a good distance apart and took turns visiting each other. Suddenly he got to where he never visited anymore.. like eight months with no visit while I was still visiting him. THEN.. when a certain hot guy near me was available he got his ass over to visit, but of course I was not the reason for the visit. He fucked the guy in my bed and when I got home from work that night he blew me and put me to bed. I worked the next day when the BF left, and when I got home that night he'd left me a note saying he missed being at my house.. Bullshit.
'
That was the end of the relationship and even though we talked casually a little after that event, I never went back and he never questioned me one bit. He knew what he had done and WAS NOT willing to admit or talk about it, so end of game.

I'm still mad about it but at least I'm not sad. His personality and antics had basically killed my feeling for him long before the other guy incident, so I feel I'm better off.
 

FrankieGuile

Admired Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2023
Posts
870
Media
0
Likes
788
Points
103
Location
San Diego, California,United States
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Hi,
I met a guy (Lets call him Harry), around 6 months ago, when traveling. We seemed to hit it off and exchanged numbers, we spoke a lot and arranged other meetings (around every 3-4 weeks, or so), sometimes at his home and other times in other countries. He always claimed not to be good at booking things etc (he's around 10 years older than me), so I always booked the hotel (more often than not also ended up picking up the bill!). He did pick up some bills for dinner and other incidentals. Would always say how a big unexpected expense ame up at the last minute.

The last time we met, was at his home, he wanted to visit a naked party and the next day wanted to go to a cruising place - both are a bit out of my comfort zone, I found it a bit boring but he enjoyed watching others and touching (nothing more), he wnted us to be exclusive.

He's massivly into Instagram and frequently posts topless pictures and receives lots of DM's with naked, or near naked bodies, on a couple of occasions he's sent me messages to me saying 'Please help, all these pitures' etc one I did manage to see a couple of the screenshots. One was from someone he has previously hooked up with (he's talked about him previously) offering a BJ, it looked like Harry had initiated the convrsation, but claims that I'm wrong - Harry did send messages back that called him baby?

Within the second screenshot (different person), there is a rection to a post in 2020, then nothing upuntil a few weeks ago, which Harry asks the follower where they are from, no big deal, but that was on the day he was traveing across the country for work.

Over the las week or so, things have been a little strange, so I asked about the Insatgram messages, he blocked me on everything except WhatsApp - I think, he thinks, I wouldn't notice.

He still messages, says I love you and I Miss you etc. Looking forward to seeing you etc

We're due to meet next week, I've not booked anything.

Should I just walk away?
I think you already know the answer. The part that requires discipline and self-respect is freezing him out forever, never meeting, never speaking, never acknowledging.
 

ben hunter

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2018
Posts
35
Media
0
Likes
140
Points
68
Location
Newcastle upon Tyne (England)
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Thank you to you all for your replies. I'm really sorry to hear of your negative experiences @bravesoldier
You're right @FrankieGuile, I thought I knew the answer, it was only when I typed it out and read it back, I was sure.
There was a few more red flags @Don Logan, that I didn't even include, as I was a bit ashamed to admit to, lets say a modern casanova.

I'm a strong independant man and I've blocked him too.
 

rockmusl1

Loved Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Jan 24, 2013
Posts
257
Media
0
Likes
507
Points
463
Location
Los Angeles, California, US
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
From what you wrote, it sounds to me like he’s not yet fully-formed. Doesn’t yet know who he is or what he wants, so while he knows you’re a good thing, he’s not ready to take the leap. Interesting, but not important. What is important is how YOU feel, and that’s unsettled and suspicious. That’s not how a happy relationship works. You don’t need anyone to tell you what action to take here, you already know!
 
  • Like
Reactions: ben hunter

ASK JEFF

Loved Member
Joined
Aug 12, 2023
Posts
211
Media
1
Likes
550
Points
128
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Hi,
I met a guy (Lets call him Harry), around 6 months ago, when traveling. We seemed to hit it off and exchanged numbers, we spoke a lot and arranged other meetings (around every 3-4 weeks, or so), sometimes at his home and other times in other countries. He always claimed not to be good at booking things etc (he's around 10 years older than me), so I always booked the hotel (more often than not also ended up picking up the bill!). He did pick up some bills for dinner and other incidentals. Would always say how a big unexpected expense ame up at the last minute.

The last time we met, was at his home, he wanted to visit a naked party and the next day wanted to go to a cruising place - both are a bit out of my comfort zone, I found it a bit boring but he enjoyed watching others and touching (nothing more), he wnted us to be exclusive.

He's massivly into Instagram and frequently posts topless pictures and receives lots of DM's with naked, or near naked bodies, on a couple of occasions he's sent me messages to me saying 'Please help, all these pitures' etc one I did manage to see a couple of the screenshots. One was from someone he has previously hooked up with (he's talked about him previously) offering a BJ, it looked like Harry had initiated the convrsation, but claims that I'm wrong - Harry did send messages back that called him baby?

Within the second screenshot (different person), there is a rection to a post in 2020, then nothing upuntil a few weeks ago, which Harry asks the follower where they are from, no big deal, but that was on the day he was traveing across the country for work.

Over the las week or so, things have been a little strange, so I asked about the Insatgram messages, he blocked me on everything except WhatsApp - I think, he thinks, I wouldn't notice.

He still messages, says I love you and I Miss you etc. Looking forward to seeing you etc

We're due to meet next week, I've not booked anything.

Should I just walk away?
Hey there, Sugarbear…


It sounds like you've been through a bit of a rollercoaster with this “Harry” guy. It's understandable that his behavior and the mixed signals he's sending can be confusing and frustrating... who wouldn’t be? From what you've shared, it seems like there might be some red flags worth considering.

1) First off, it's not cool that he's leaving you to foot most of the bills and making excuses about unexpected expenses. That’s flat out using you. Period. The fact that you recognized that as odd tells you something right there, buddy! Don’t be a doormat. Additionally, his interest in attending naked parties and cruising places might not align with your comfort zone.

2) The Instagram situation definitely raises some huge fucking concerns. It's strange that he blocked you on most platforms but kept you on WhatsApp. That obviously indicates that he's trying to hide something from you. The messages you mentioned also sound a bit suspicious, especially if he's claiming they're nothing serious while sending messages like "baby" back to someone he's previously hooked up with. Fucked up.

3) His behavior continues to make you uncomfortable and you're not getting the reassurances you need, so walking away might be best. If it were me? I’d be fuckin’ walking away as fast as I could. He seems to me to be a grifter with passive-aggressive behaviors.

Ultimately, you deserve to be in a relationship where both partners are respectful, honest, and supportive of each other. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness ALWAYS!

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Kisses on your pink parts ❤️
JEFF