Tips for a guy to tell if a woman is faking...

[JohnBear]

Obviously depending on the woman and her physiology sometimes it's pretty obvious if they're genuinely having an orgasm, others it's not as straight forward. Any tips...?

 

[918177]

You have to ask yourself why she would fake.

Maybe you just don't listen.
Maybe you can't communicate.
Maybe your a dud fuck and faking means you'll just finish so the whole ordeal is over with.
Maybe she's bored.
Maybe she wasn't in the mood to start with and siad yes just to shut you up.

Things to ponder.

 

[LaFemme]

What Ms BonBon says is true. Lots of reasons.

I don't know if physically there's a way to tell. I can pretty much fake it all if I want to. And if I do, it's usually because my partner is determined but I've lost interest. Sometimes I like having sex, but orgasm just isn't in the works. So what? But bless his heart, he's going to go at it until his heart gives out, or he busts a blood vessel. It doesn't matter if I say, I'm done, you can stop. He feels like a failure. It's like an act of mercy.

Of course, I'm single now and my next lover might be different, but that was my reasoning in the past.

 

[JohnBear]

You have to ask yourself why she would fake.

Maybe you just don't listen.
Maybe you can't communicate.
Maybe your a dud fuck and faking means you'll just finish so the whole ordeal is over with.
Maybe she's bored.
Maybe she wasn't in the mood to start with and siad yes just to shut you up.

Things to ponder.

I really don't like confrontation so i'm going to remove myself from the situation...

 

[950483]

I really don't like confrontation so i'm going to remove myself from the situation...

So the first two things on the list are definitely true for a start. Additionally, people are only allowed to tell you things that you want to hear. I've never even met you, but I've already had several fake orgasms whilst typing this response.

 

[JohnBear]

So the first two things on the list are definitely true for a start. Additionally, people are only allowed to tell you things that you want to hear. I've never even met you, but I've already had several fake orgasms whilst typing this response.

A good day all around then

 

[AlteredEgo]

It may not be what you want to hear, but if a woman is determined to fake it with you, it is almost certainly because she doesn't know how to signal that she's done in a way that you will hear and understand, or has already learned that the only terminus you will accept os the orgasm she's not going to have. Basically, poor communication either way, which may very well be your own fault. As for knowing, either find out where you misplaced your confidence and stop looking for that, or accept that if your partner chooses to fake it, you will never know for sure. No matter what else, do look into your history of communication, and determine if you've presented yourself as a bloke who doesn't want the truth unless it is flattering, as you've demonstrated here. Good luck.

 

[HiddenLacey]

I think there have been threads on this before. Some women become more flushed the closer they get to orgasm, red chest, neck, cheeks, etc. frantic movements, some are quieter, some make more noise... Honestly the best thing you can do is communicate with her, but don't make it ALL about the orgasm, that can cause pressure to orgasm and some of us are overthinkers. I've never understood the purpose of faking. Why cheat oneself out of an orgasm?

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Once the pressure to orgasm is put on me you may as well just throw in the towel. It's probably not going to happen. I notice the same thing happens with my husband. If I need him to finish quickly he has a really hard time. Sometimes we've just had to stop and say hey it's ok, it's not going to happen tonight. Thanks for stopping before I got too sore.

 

[950483]

While I totally agree that pressure to orgasm is not good, there have been times in the past when I can't quite get there and have found that being told to have an orgasm works a treat. Though I'm certain it would have the opposite effect on some people.

 

[HiddenLacey]

While I totally agree that pressure to orgasm is not good, there have been times in the past when I can't quite get there and have found that being told to have an orgasm works a treat. Though I'm certain it would have the opposite effect on some people.

Well...whispered commands from the right guy may have a great outcome.

 

[950483]

And perhaps some intense eye contact.

 

[sweetlucky12]

Once the pressure to orgasm is put on me you may as well just throw in the towel. It's probably not going to happen. I notice the same thing happens with my husband. If I need him to finish quickly he has a really hard time. Sometimes we've just had to stop and say hey it's ok, it's not going to happen tonight. Thanks for stopping before I got too sore.

This sounds so familiar.

 

[EllieP]

Once the pressure to orgasm is put on me you may as well just throw in the towel. It's probably not going to happen. I notice the same thing happens with my husband. If I need him to finish quickly he has a really hard time. Sometimes we've just had to stop and say hey it's ok, it's not going to happen tonight. Thanks for stopping before I got too sore.

This.

We've been together almost 17 years. Married 15. We talk. We know. We know it's not going to always happen. We will try to make it happen, but it's got to be right for both of us. And sometimes we tap out. "OK, I'm done." And it's done. No questions. No recriminations. Always a promise of "next time." Or "I owe you." We never carry a debt long.

 

[693987]

What Tattooed Goddess and Ellie said. Sometimes our body is a jerk for various reason. No judgement on either part, just a hope that whatever old injury/etc is the problem eases swiftly, and that next time will be lovely, per usual. People being pushy in the past about orgasms was the anti-lady-boner. I've never faked. I HAVE had people who hadn't been with me enough to be familiar with my audible and physiological responses assume I had had an orgasm, when I hadn't.

 

[missT44]

Such an interesting thread because I'm automatically asking why you need to know this? I think channeling your energy into providing a mutually satisfying experience for both of you rather than anxiety over whether she's faking it would be time better spent!
I have never faked an orgasm in my life. I can be brutally honest and probably to some people just unkind but I prefer my partners to know that yes, I am enjoying their attention immensely. Let's just take that and enjoy it.... Or no, this really isn't working for me but I'm still willing to make it fun for you! Our bodies can be assholes sometimes and just won't let it happen. Other times we're just not feeling it and forcing or pretending just produces a hollow encounter for both of us.
Lack of confidence or knowledge about women's responses can cause some guys to be anxious over whether she orgasms or not ... I think this is why most women just give them what they need rather than prolong the ordeal. I think this is misleading and detrimental in the long run.
As to the actual signs every woman is different. I articulate how it's building, my breath quickens, I'm really noisy and will moan a LOT. Every muscle tenses and I'm probably going to rip up the sheets or scratch your back if you're driving me wild guaranteed you will be soaked as I do tend to gush buckets the more intense that orgasm is ....
Some women get really flushed and others get really quiet and internalise that pleasure! So as each woman is different so are their responses.
The older I become and more sexual experience I have the more I realise that sexual satisfaction is less about the destination of orgasms and so much more about the journey along the way. Take my advice ...This attitude will change your sexual experiences completely!

 

[Mercurygirl]

If she screams ...

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm coming, I'm coming, o' sweet demon steed of passion ride me to the gates of Hades and take this your vessel of desire and use it to quench thy lustful thirst. Thrust upon me your commanding phallus of Zeus and I shall slave beneath the man-beast of your will for an eternity. Take me my champion for my loins burn with that of a thousand dragon breaths in the furnace of an exploding sun. Blanket me with your sex and give unto me your baby batter, nectar of the gods, and claim my body as your own before the alter at Valhalla!"

... she's probably faking it.


=/

 

[rtg]

I've gotten pretty good at faking.... if he bores me (very easy to do), I'll fake to get it over and done with. Even if you can "physically" tell (e.g. movements / her pulsating, etc)...even clever women can fake that.

Best thing to do is to ask her what she likes and what you can do to keep making it feel better....most guys don't ask for feedback, which is probably part of the reason for their downfalls.

 

[AlteredEgo]

most guys don't ask for feedback, which is probably part of the reason for their downfalls.

I disagree. But even if I agreed that most men do not ask for feedback, I would disagree that we should wait for them to ask.

 

[rtg]

I disagree. But even if I agreed that most men do not ask for feedback, I would disagree that we should wait for them to ask.

How can you disagree with something that I'm merely talking about based on my personal experience?