To all waitresses... would you actually date a customer?

[modestlyhung]

I've always been of the mind that as a guy, you don't ask out waitresses. No matter how hot they are, no matter how much your convinced they're into you, don't ask them out. For two reasons:

1) Part of being a waitress (at least at swanky places where the waitresses are hired because they're attractive), being a little flirty and sending smiles is all part of the job. It increases their tips. And as a guy, I can say yes, it does work.

2) Even if they are into you, you'd still be just another guy at the bar who asks them out. How tacky...

But lately I've had a few really cute waitresses who actually seem into me (I've accepted the fact I'm attractive, because of attention and straight up comments I get, but I'm generally shy and reserved). Should I stick by my previous philosophy, or should I go out on a limb and ask one out?

Comments from waitresses and your experiences with this sort of thing would be appreciated.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

ok im not a waitress, but if i were single i wouldnt rule out dating someone i found witty and attractive where i work.

let me give you a couple of ideas that might not make it seem so uncomfortable for you. if you frequent the place enough for her to recognize you are a regular and you can be trusted as a guy who isnt there just to drool over her...you can make small talk such as "what do you do outside of work? any hobbies or anything?" and then visit with her about whatever she brings up. but dont ask her out just yet, wait until she waits on you again and visit with her about something else you want to know about her life. chances are if she isnt single the "hobbies" question will bring that out. but if you get through to the 2nd time you get to talk with her then ask her if she'd like to give you a call sometime to go see a movie, give her your number, dont ask her for hers. this leaves the door open for her to refuse and not feel so uncomfortable if she chooses not to.

this will also appear very gentlemanly that you dont need her number that you trust if she wants to go out with you that she will give you a call. it exhudes confidence that she will totally want to see.

 

[nudeyorker]

OK I know you directed this to the ladies...but I have been a waiter, bartender and a flight attendant! Yes I have dated the customers if they were friendly, well behaved and tipped well! In all seriousness...go out on a limb and ask her out!

 

[Serial Kisser]

I've been a waitress for almost 8 years now.
If I was attracted to him, I would most definitely date a customer.
I don't try to flirt to get bigger tips, ever.
It's quite the opposite. If I get sat with someone whom I find good looking, I get rather shy about the whole thing.
I've never been asked out by a customer though.

 

[ejection_handle]

Wow, can I give some insight on this subject. The following events are not fiction, they are in fact 100% accurate true and yes unbelievable, I know. I am a customer who has "dated", for one night at least, a waitress or three. I also know an ex work mate who had a little success in dating as well. I think dating might not be exactly what I am familliar with, but you get the point. Waitresses flirt, yes thats how they make tips. You as a customer have every right to reciprocate, how well you handle your end will determine what happens next. My situation was this, I travelled for work and waitresses are able to pick out who what where and why about their customers. On more than one occasssion I was one of the last customers eating and a waitress, sometimes mine sometimes not mine, would decide to just take a seat at my table or booth. I would say thats a pretty good sign, wouldn't you. Twice this turned into a very nice night away from home. Not everytime, but twice it did. Another time was when I had a layover in Tampa and stopped at TGIF for a Mudslide that turned into a missed flight; I was going home not to work so it ws ok. I never set out to pick up a waitress, but I do believe they set out to pick customers if the mood strikes. Take your chances, it is possible and good luck.
ps: Thought I would add, I think it helps if you have a hotel room and a one way ticket out of town too.

 

[Cowabanga]

I've been a waiter for 20 years, and many establishment have rules against servers hitting on the customer. She/he may not be able to ask you out, so the ball is in your court and you wont get thrown out of the place if you play ball.

They get hit on all the time, chances are that maybe one will go out with you after 20 tries.

 

[StraightCock4Her]

I've wanted to ask out many customers and I just haven't done it for fear of losing my job.

It's awkward if I turn them down though cause I doubt I'll be getting a tip and that's what I live off of.

 

[B_Bonky]

One of my main pick-up rules is: Never hit on women where they work. Never never never. Never ask them out, never expect anything other than good service.

But if they hit on you, well that's another story. But they have to do pretty much ALL the work. I mean they have to be blatant about it, otherwise it's simple flirting to get a bigger tip, as far as I'm concerned.

As a rule, though.. leave 'em alone when they're working. They just want to earn a buck and get home without drama and without getting fired.

 

[Stu Pendous]

ok im not a waitress, but if i were single i wouldnt rule out dating someone i found witty and attractive where i work.

let me give you a couple of ideas that might not make it seem so uncomfortable for you. if you frequent the place enough for her to recognize you are a regular and you can be trusted as a guy who isnt there just to drool over her...you can make small talk such as "what do you do outside of work? any hobbies or anything?" and then visit with her about whatever she brings up. but dont ask her out just yet, wait until she waits on you again and visit with her about something else you want to know about her life. chances are if she isnt single the "hobbies" question will bring that out. but if you get through to the 2nd time you get to talk with her then ask her if she'd like to give you a call sometime to go see a movie, give her your number, dont ask her for hers. this leaves the door open for her to refuse and not feel so uncomfortable if she chooses not to.

this will also appear very gentlemanly that you dont need her number that you trust if she wants to go out with you that she will give you a call. it exhudes confidence that she will totally want to see.

This is pretty much the best advice on this thread so far. I was a waiter and I can tell you we all have different serving styles. Some servers are naturally more flirty than others. They may honestly be into, they may not be. Small talk is key because you can at least get a feel for if they're just being nice or actually might be interested.

Now...story time: I was serving these two girls once and on the back of the check they had written something like, " hey this is the blond one, here's the brunette one's phone number, you should call her." I seriously considered calling but since it was a phone left for someone else I chose not to. When I asked my female colleagues they agreed I shouldn't call, but...they said if they had left their own number they might call.

SO...if you think you've got it, leave your number on the back of the check. If you're paying cash, you might want to leave at least your first name too. Then the game is totally her turn to play if she chooses and she won't feel as much pressure. Sorry for the long 2 cents worth. Hope this helps you out.

 

[TheRob]

I've been a waitress for almost 8 years now.
If I was attracted to him, I would most definitely date a customer.
I don't try to flirt to get bigger tips, ever.
It's quite the opposite. If I get sat with someone whom I find good looking, I get rather shy about the whole thing.
I've never been asked out by a customer though.

they probubly assume you have a b/f
men are like that
we figure all you cute chicks have bf's

 

[lickme69]

I am a bartender and I am currently dating a guy that was a regular where I work. I do not see why it would be a bad idea to ask a bartender or waitress out. Go for it!!!!