To be a "housewife"....

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by LordDivineFist, Sep 8, 2011.

  1. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    Or to have these tendencies as a gay man who would only ever want to please a man and his big dick. Is this so wrong? It has always been my personal mission to serve and to help others. (it's probably why I'm such a submissive bottom half the time) But I have to ask, Is this domesticated feeling I always have when I'm with someone a bad thing? Have I just not found that someone who enjoys this? My ex and I broke up because I couldn't find work in a broken economy and all I would do all day when I had time at home (other than job hunt online) was prepare his meals, clean our apartment and then give him a massage as soon as he walked through the door from work. All he wanted me for was money, because when I had money we were fine but as soon as I didn't, things went south..fast.

    Your thoughts?
     
  2. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    Maybe it's just me, maybe no one really wants to have their needs taken care of? Perhaps it is just me not having found that person who wants me to do those things for him.
     
  3. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    Has anyone ever felt this way? To long to love someone to take care of? Maybe I'm old fashioned but I just believe in taking care of the men who take care of you.
     
  4. SoloAqui

    SoloAqui Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2011
    Messages:
    158
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Central USA
    Its hard to find someone who really appreciates what you do for them. I think most people don't really know what there needs are & if they do they figure than can do it themselves. Speaking for myself I know that I need work in the showing appreciation area.
    I don't thinks it old fashion either most people are out for themselves so they take what they can get and screw you in the process.
     
    #4 SoloAqui, Sep 8, 2011
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2011
  5. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    I suppose that's true, but I figure I can take care of some of those needs to lessen the stress of needing to take care of those things by themselves. If that makes sense.
     
  6. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    you're a service sub.
    you'd be better off asking on a BDSM forum.
     
  7. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2010
    Messages:
    4,322
    Likes Received:
    39
    You are happiest when you are doing all the cooking, cleaning and serving him (massages, etc)? Waiting on him (hand and foot, per se) and he was happier when you were providing monetary support to the relationship.

    When you had a job, were you still doing all the cooking, cleaning, etc? or did he pitch in and help too? If you were doing it then as well as now, then sure, he misses the income. It could also be that your budget may have depended on your income as well as his and when you lost work sacrifices had to be made and he may not have been so happy with the loss of those other benefits derived from the relationship.

    Lots of factors to consider, but IMO, when 2 people enter into a relationship and then, through no fault of their own, circumstances change.... both partners should sit and discuss what these changes mean and how they will cope and work through it until the circumstances "right" themselves. Sometimes, talking through "what all this means" might even help both parties see that this new situation might even be more beneficial.

    BTW, are you happy having no income and depending on your partner for your sole monetary support? That is rare indeed to find.... in males or females. Not to say it is right or wrong, because there is no right or wrong here. Only identifying who you are and what you are looking for out of life. Then finding the right partner to share that with.

    Good luck.
     
  8. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    Things might have changed, they might not have I'm not sure..he was not much for communication in the first place so maybe that was something to be said for the relationship on the whole. I am happy having no income and depending on my partner for sole monetary support. I'm not one to go out and spend everything my man has and I'm certainly not a gold digger by any means. All it genuinely takes for me to be happy is to have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, an internet connection and A/C in the summer and a warm man all year round. As long as those "basic" needs are met I am happy and content with just cooking, cleaning and servicing to the needs of the one I love. I have no conditions other than for my man to be happy.
     
  9. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    There's a term I don't hear everyday.
     
  10. Bbucko

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    7,413
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunny SoFla
    It suits you perfectly, though.
     
  11. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    It does, oh wow so it does. Was just looking at that but even still. Is there anyone here who doesn't like that feeling of power over someone? That feeling of being served? You all have gifted endowments and that deserves a good worship, be it out of love from your partner or just plain adoration from some random admirer. These are just my opinions though.
     
  12. SoloAqui

    SoloAqui Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2011
    Messages:
    158
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Central USA
    I agree one can lessen the stress, for another but most don't look for that anymore I think or don't recognize that is what one is doing for them. It makes sense.
     
  13. hockeysweat

    hockeysweat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2011
    Messages:
    103
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    DC
    Marry me.
     
  14. kundalinikat

    kundalinikat Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2005
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle (WA, US)
    Sounds like you know what you like :) Go with it! Just don't give your time and energy to a guy who isn't worth it.
     
  15. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    Ha, I'd love to settle in, but I'd think we'd have to date first..wouldn't we?
     
  16. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    Yeah..I've done that a lot in the past. :/
     
  17. SoloAqui

    SoloAqui Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2011
    Messages:
    158
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Central USA
    I agree.
     
  18. Stephenmass

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,886
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston
    To each their own LDF. IMO, your man may have liked all the things you provided to him but also enjoyed both of you having incomes and more freedom to travel, get nice cars, etc. Your worship is to the extreme and if it works for you that's fine. I couldn't be in a relationship with you because I'd want more from you than to be "simply worshipped" because of what I may have between my legs. But that is me and I am sure there is someone out there that will meet your needs and you meeting his. What do you do if you ever get in a long term relationship and it lasts for a long time and he dies or whatever? What does someone like you do then? I say that with respect to you, not disrespect. The more I'd want from you is the ability to stand on your own without my help. I'd respect you much more then. But again, that is me. Not trying to be harsh with you at all. I wouldn't enjoy supporting you in whole after awhile, especially if I felt that your job search is not as intense as it should be. But I am not here to judge you, just to give you the "other side".
     
  19. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    Believe me when I say that I appreciate your input. And while I may have made it seem that all I care about is just his dick, it doesn't stop there for me. I gave it my best to find work..and while I wouldn't have minded him being the sole provider I also did not want to be a burden on him. I loved and cared for him until he told me that if I had no jpb by a certain date he was movong back to his mothers place because (in his words) "mommy and daddy will always take care of me." I do not believe in putting confitions on love and I most certaintly do not appreciate
     
  20. LordDivineFist

    LordDivineFist New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    62
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    San Diego
    Believe me when I say that I appreciate your input. And while I may have made it seem that all I care about is just his dick, it doesn't stop there for me. I gave it my besst to find work..and while I wouldn't have minded him being the sole provider I also did not want to be a burden on him. I loved and cared for him until he told me that if I had no job by a certain date he was moving back to his mothers place because (in his words) "mommy and daddy will always take care of me." I do not believe in putting confitions on love and I most certaintly do not appreciate how he handled the situation. I adore a man and will worship the man who won't care what our financial situation is as long as we have each other. I am by no means a materialistic person and perhaps that too was a flaw. I knew how to live on less and he refused to accept that.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted