To just have fun, not a relationship.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by I23, Jun 15, 2011.

  1. I23

    I23 New Member

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    Just wanted to ask how it is or how it's been for those here who have managed to be in a situation where they are just having fun or just fooling around with others, having casual relationships or just seeing what happens really.

    I don't know about anyone else here but all my relationships have gotten 'serious' pretty quick, for various reasons. Even a relatively short period of time into the relationship, they seem to be thinking about the long term future and all the things that go with it (rings on fingers, houses, careers in the same place, even kids!). When this has happened to me I have been a little startled by it perhaps, but have not come straight out and said NO, generally because I do have real feelings for the girl (it's just my way of handling those feelings don't include sitting down and planning the next 50 years together right this minute). Perhaps also I am more infatuated or crazy about the girl during those relatively early months and years and things are still new and exciting so I don't exactly want to come out and put a dampener on us.

    A few days ago though I realised that I have never actually had a relationship where we were just seeing each other, going out, dating or what have you, without the long term and serious stuff being brought into it pretty quick (and I think that can really change the mood of your time together, more than I realise at the time). Well, that's apart from a fling or two way back when. I got into another relationship pretty much straight after getting out of my first serious one, and whilst I was at university I always had a long distance relationship of this type, so wasn't able to exactly meet other girls in that way. I don't massively mind that, we had fun at the time and I definitely got more than my single housemates despite them pubcrawling and cruising the bars for girls every night. But it does now make me feel that I have kinda not done what seems to be the norm - taking it easy on the relationship side of things (even if that chilled out GF later does become a serious one). There may be a bit of regret or a sense of having missed out in some way in there somewhere.

    Guess I just wanted to put that out in the open, I'm not exactly sure where I want to go with this, or with myself in general really. I'd be happy to hear your thoughts and experiences on the whole 'just having fun' vs 'seriously significant other' thing and what you make of it.
     
    #1 I23, Jun 15, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2011
  2. AlteredEgo

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    If what you wanted was a casual relationship, and you never got it, that is your own fault for failing to be direct and up front about what you want. Whatever in the world you want, there are millions of other people who want the exact same thing. So just ask for it, and reject anyone who doesn't match.
     
  3. I23

    I23 New Member

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    I guess that's true. I just have never had the heart to state that as starkly as it needs to be said right at the beginning of a relationship, especially when I am as keen on her as she is on me. Looking into those besotted eyes and coming out with "You realise this isn't THAT serious, right?" would be kinda akin to stamping on a bucket of kittens :p

    That said, the alternative would be even worse - trying to introduce the idea of casualness AFTER they have already set their heart on the serious long term stuff :/

    Perhaps it's more a thing that I only have thought about or felt like I am missing out when I am already some time into a relationship, when that new and exciting feeling has dulled a little, when novelty has turned into reality.

    That, and meeting the type of girl that seems to be inclined to think about the big stuff relatively early on, and not ever seeming to meet those who don't mind just taking things easy for a while.
     
  4. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    AE is a take the bull by the horns kinda gal. Gotta love it. Same as my lady. FIERY!


    *WOLVERINE BERSERKER BARRAGE*
     
  5. need2bsexy2

    need2bsexy2 Active Member

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    I have had several NSA one night stands over the years. Mary, Jackie and Luann started out on the internet with chat and we decided to get together to get to know each other better. I got a room and each one came over individually. I had a good three hours with each one and we both left satisfied.

    I had oral sex with four women in one night that I had never known before or since. It happened at www.mon-chalet.com in the pool area. With each of them we had oral sex in the "play area" in front of about 100 people.
     
  6. need2bsexy2

    need2bsexy2 Active Member

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    Sorry, I forgot one. I had a one night stand with Nancy and her husband at the Mon Chalet in one of the rooms. I had never met them before or since. Her Hubby and I had sex with her over a two hour period. I asked her if she liked the g-spot orgasms or the clit orgasms better. She said that the clit ones come faster.
     
  7. AlteredEgo

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    Why would you wait until she is besotted? BEFORE you EVER go ANYWHERE. Just tell the girl what you're looking for. State it politely, and be flirty about it. If she's offended, it isn't a match. There is ALWAYS someone who wants to just have a little fun. You will never ever find her by jumping into relationships with girls who want to settle down. Anyone not looking for what you're looking for is incompatible.
     
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