To the girls: Social pressure to not appear to be a "Size Queen"?

[linus]

"Size queen" does seem to be a pejorative term. Furthermore, I think that it gets over-used or used inappropriately. To me, the term refers to someone who is very fixated, or almost obsessed with large men. However, it is often used towards women who simply have a preference.

It is yet another example of how women are treated unfairly with issues surrounding sex. Simply admitting a preference for size will lead to judgements about what kind of woman you are. Given this, I am find it very attractive when a women can matter of fact-ly state her preference with confidence and no apologies.

 

[RawDog]

Given this, I am find it very attractive when a women can matter of fact-ly state her preference with confidence and no apologies.

This I agree with 100%. I think guys like us are in the minority though, I've never felt intimidated by a woman's sexual preference. In a way this has been my litmus test for my friends. Most of my women friends have become close to me *because* of how matter-of-factly they've stated their preferences. Most of them are of the "The bigger the better" kind, but all of them have been pretty sexually confident women.

 

[Enid]

Can i ask whats with the "being pressured" into not saying what you like??

I'll give it a shot. This is a snippet of something I posted a long time ago:

Women have a hard time with this issue. Society's take on it is that if you know exactly what size cock you like, that says you've sampled quite a few. If you like big ones, it might also imply (to some) that you're a slut and you've worn your pussy out and you need crazy barnyard animals or pornstar slutty men to have sex with. Plus if you're being so harsh on men about penis size, where is your sense of priority? Why wouldn't you prefer a nice, stable man? What kind of slutty childish girl wants boys with big cocks? When a guy wants a young bimbo with big tits and a tight body, he's just being human. But if a woman has that mentality, she's putting her basest, most shallow desires before being a wife and mother (according to society).


Anyway, like exotiKittie I don't feel much pressure to not appear interested in size amongst my close friends/family. They all know.

I can see how this is an issue for some though. I even see some of it going on here like subgirl mentioned. Take a look at diamond's long-running hardcore size queen thread located somewhere in women's issues as an example. Plenty of men in that thread shame her for stating a very specific preference.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I'll give it a shot. This is a snippet of something I posted a long time ago:

Women have a hard time with this issue. Society's take on it is that if you know exactly what size cock you like, that says you've sampled quite a few. If you like big ones, it might also imply (to some) that you're a slut and you've worn your pussy out and you need crazy barnyard animals or pornstar slutty men to have sex with. Plus if you're being so harsh on men about penis size, where is your sense of priority? Why wouldn't you prefer a nice, stable man? What kind of slutty childish girl wants boys with big cocks? When a guy wants a young bimbo with big tits and a tight body, he's just being human. But if a woman has that mentality, she's putting her basest, most shallow desires before being a wife and mother (according to society).

I think you've explained things beautifully Enid :smile:.

Many of us who are on this site ignore the pressure and state our preferences anyway, but that doesn't mean the pressure isn't there.

 

[overly_straight]

There's pressure on all sides to not appear shallow, especially over a physical attribute that can't be changed.

Interestingly, there's not much of a social taboo about "height queens", is there?

 

[fizzyjizz]

just opens up a big can of worms[/B] to all but my very closest friends.

HEHE Nice unintended pun! :tongue:

 

[Belly_Dancer]

I like this:

"'Slut,' 'bitch,' 'whore,' 'nympho,' and 'tramp:' wouldn't it be nice to use them so often that they lose the power to hurt? Better yet, shouldn't we redefine the words in such a way that they become praise? Women should have pride in the enjoyment of their bodies. Can women stand up and say, 'Hell, yes. I'm a sensual woman, a sexual being and I'm proud of it?'"We declare, from this day forward, these words to be compliments.

We will define 'slut' as a person who enjoys his or her sexuality. A 'bitch' shall be a woman who takes control of her own destiny. A 'whore' shall be a woman so desired that men will give much to be with her. Call m'lady 'nympho' if she demonstrates a healthy sexual appetite, and a 'tramp' is merely a very giving person, who knows how to share."

~Molly Devon and Phillip Miller, from Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns.

I don't go around announcing myself as a slut to people who wouldn't understand. But I know that I am a slut and my husband is well aware of the fact as well. He fell in love with a slut, and he wouldn't have me any other way.

I also don't go around announcing my dick size preference to people who wouldn't understand. Or to people whose feelings it would unnecessarily hurt. And I think it is very important to help guys understand that their penis isn't the only thing under consideration when evaluating them as potential love interests or partners. At least it isn't for me.

Yes, I like big ones (or shall I say, I like big one, since I've only actually had the one who was really exceptional in size). I am attracted to and interested in big cocks; I like looking at pictures of them, I like fantasizing about them, and I enjoy my husband's girth even though it makes me sore as hell.

Sometimes my husband's size is a disadvantage. In some positions it is overwhelming and can be more pain than pleasure. So my actual ability to take a big cock isn't quite a match for my desires.

But in my fantasies, I can take anything.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I like this:



I don't go around announcing myself as a slut to people who wouldn't understand. But I know that I am a slut and my husband is well aware of the fact as well. He fell in love with a slut, and he wouldn't have me any other way.

This is how I see it too :smile:. I feel proud when my FB calls me a slut.

 

[NottsBound]

Not really, not all girls prefer a big cock because of how much it would hurt them. (This probably applies to the less sexually active women.) Most girls would like a big cock but it's not a big enough deal to have to admit to it. In the real world (or my world), women do not care about size, while some tend to enjoy it every now and then. Nearly half of my sexual partners have had troubles with size issues (pain and comfort).

 

[RawDog]

This is how I see it too :smile:. I feel proud when my FB calls me a slut.

In the book, The Ethical Slut, a slut is defined as. "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you." I always loved that definition.

I suppose I'll eventually read it. Just haven't made the time yet.

 

[B_subgirrl]

In the book, The Ethical Slut, a slut is defined as. "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you." I always loved that definition.

I suppose I'll eventually read it. Just haven't made the time yet.

I've been meaning to read that too. 'Ethical slut' describes me perfectly. I want to have lots of sex, but do it with honesty and without hurting anyone.

 

[petite]

But in my fantasies, I can take anything.

So true! This is so me!

I've never sat around and actually discussed penises with anyone IRL, so really the premise of the question regarding whether I feel socially pressured to say that I like one type of penis another is really moot since the entire subject of penises just doesn't come up in conversation, but in general I think women are pressured more than men to look beyond physical attributes and seek mates for other qualities. I think women don't have as much leeway to be "shallow" the way men do. (I've put "shallow" in quotes because I don't think that seeking sexual satisfaction is shallow, but many people consider a woman who seeks a mate with a large penis to be shallow.)

 

[Luvhmlrg]

I want to have lots of sex, but do it with honesty and without hurting anyone.

Well said!

 

[B_subgirrl]

Well said!

Thanks :smile:

 

[massageguy39]

So, what happens when slip up and forget to maintain false appearances about your true preferences to someone you've already presented false appearances to due to the social pressure?

I cannot stress enough how important it is to remain true to oneself even in the face of "social pressure" about such an issue as this one. The reason is that, if and when you accidentally admit your true thoughts or feelings to someone you've already emphatically stated are the opposite of what you let slip out from trying to maintain, then they are probably going to think you are dishonest or are hiding your preferences for other reasons apart from just social pressure. This has happened to me with a woman who is for the most part very open and honest but contradicts herself on this subject enough to be noticeable and I know it's because of the lack of courage to be forthcoming due to "social pressure".

In other words, and putting it as succinctly as possible, this particular social pressure has the side affect of creating mistrust in the opposite sex once you accidentally let the cat out of the bag. My two cents.

 

[Gillette]

Sour grapes.

In the presence of men, stating a preference for large cock alienates all those who are average and below (70%?). Psychological defense mechanisms kick in to displace feelings of disappointment or inferiority with ways to put the undesirability factor on the woman.

"I didn't really want her anyway."

In the presence of other women there are a slew of potential mines.

Woman with a partner who is not large - resentment - maybe she has similar preferences but isn't getting it and certainly can't talk about it.

Woman with a partner who is large - you're potential competition for the insecure.

Other single size queens - you're competition.

Prudes - any discussion of sex makes you a whore, mention size and you're an insatiable whore.

 

[Mercurygirl]

Rule 1 of Big Dick Club: Never talk about big dick
Rule 2 of Big Dick Club: NEVER talk about big dick

There is no social pressure because my boyfriend's big cock is not social fodder. Although penis size has been brought up in past conversations with friends, strangers, both male and female, as a rule of thumb I prefer to play my cards close to the chest. As with politics and religion I only offer up a vague opinion and keep my intimate thoughts to myself. It's not that I'm afraid to express an opinion on these matters, it's just that I prefer to reveal my feelings in a more anonymous setting, such as this site when it comes to my thoughts on sex, and yes, large penises. For me these type of discussions (religion, politics, a guy's dick size, etc.) usually lead to unnecessary heated arguments, grudges, and or hurt feelings. Just as I don't judge someone publicly over their personal religious beliefs, I find no comfort/reason in bruising the fragile male ego with what is essentially my own person preference. It be akin to a man looking at my breast and saying, 'your boobs are too small I like bigger ones.' Apart from being a-hole for saying that it really serves no purpose because I know there are men who lust over what I have. Who prefer what I have. My opinion concerning big dicks doesn't serve as a compass for what other women may prefer or think. Everyone has their own preference. My opinion is for me and I like to keep it that way.

Is this lying as some have suggested? No. I simply consider the matter private. End of.

Add to that I would never tell any of my female friends that my boyfriend is hung and rocks my world sexually like no man ever has. Why? Because I don't trust other women when it comes to sex, not even those I consider close friends. It's been my experience that women are lecherous self-serving boyfriend stealing sluts when their own lives are shit and they haven't their own dick to slave over. That they are an insanely jealous and envious breed. That they will think nothing of coveting what other women have sexually because women in general are catty beings who get a sexual power rush seducing men away from other women. That there is this pseudo bond they convey between each other, this mask of friendship, but when it comes right down to it if they want a particular male they will step over their bff, even their own mother, to get him. It's a primordial lust that has no reason, nor logic, it just is and has always been. It's heat, estrous, and it makes them fucking crazy bitches.

It's also been my observational experience that women have a tiny demon that resides between their legs and when they drink, get drunk, that little hellion comes out, possesses their alcohol flooded skulls, turns them into cum seeking succubi and makes them do lustful things that they wouldn't normally do if they were sober. As to not further compound this urge to fuck and swallow up any male in their orbit one should never, under any circumstances, tell them at any time that your boyfriend is in possession of monster demon of his own that has the power to make them feel as if they are fucking and sucking Satan himself.

I hope that cleared things up.

 

[Gillette]

Add to that I would never tell any of my female friends that my boyfriend is hung and rocks my world sexually like no man ever has. Why? Because I don't trust other women when it comes to sex, not even those I consider close friends. It's been my experience that women are lecherous self-serving boyfriend stealing sluts when their own lives are shit and they haven't their own dick to slave over. That they are an insanely jealous and envious breed. That they will think nothing of coveting what other women have sexually because women in general are catty beings who get a sexual power rush seducing men away from other women. That there is this pseudo bond they convey between each other, this mask of friendship, but when it comes right down to it if they want a particular male they will step over their bff, even their own mother, to get him. It's a primordial lust that has no reason, nor logic, it just is and has always been. It's heat, estrous, and it makes them fucking crazy bitches.

It's also been my observational experience that women have a tiny demon that resides between their legs and when they drink, get drunk, that little hellion comes out, possesses their alcohol flooded skulls, turns them into cum seeking succubi and makes them do lustful things that they wouldn't normally do if they were sober. As to not further compound this urge to fuck and swallow up any male in their orbit one should never, under any circumstances, tell them at any time that your boyfriend is in possession of monster demon of his own that has the power to make them feel as if they are fucking and sucking Satan himself.

Paranoid
Vitriolic
Misogynistic
And from my experience so very, very true.

It's not a universal truth but there are plenty out there and you'll never know who is one of these until you find her with her breasts pressed up against your guys arm, sat in his lap or bragging about her sexual prowess to him.

MG, I was laughing at the audacity of your post as I was applauding your having written it. Well said.

 

[Tylet]

Rule 1 of Big Dick Club: Never talk about big dick
Rule 2 of Big Dick Club: NEVER talk about big dick

Add to that I would never tell any of my female friends that my boyfriend is hung and rocks my world sexually like no man ever has. Why? Because I don't trust other women when it comes to sex, not even those I consider close friends. It's been my experience that women are lecherous self-serving boyfriend stealing sluts when their own lives are shit and they haven't their own dick to slave over. That they are an insanely jealous and envious breed. That they will think nothing of coveting what other women have sexually because women in general are catty beings who get a sexual power rush seducing men away from other women. That there is this pseudo bond they convey between each other, this mask of friendship, but when it comes right down to it if they want a particular male they will step over their bff, even their own mother, to get him. It's a primordial lust that has no reason, nor logic, it just is and has always been. It's heat, estrous, and it makes them fucking crazy bitches.

It's also been my observational experience that women have a tiny demon that resides between their legs and when they drink, get drunk, that little hellion comes out, possesses their alcohol flooded skulls, turns them into cum seeking succubi and makes them do lustful things that they wouldn't normally do if they were sober. As to not further compound this urge to fuck and swallow up any male in their orbit one should never, under any circumstances, tell them at any time that your boyfriend is in possession of monster demon of his own that has the power to make them feel as if they are fucking and sucking Satan himself.

I hope that cleared things up.

As a hung, or rather large upright male I completely agree - sad to say, where many women are concerned.

It is surprising how many 'closet' size queens there are, with those attitudes.
Also how many there are curious about big ones and even some who see being able to 'take' one as a challenge to their feminine 'abilities'.

My (ex) wife on 'girls nights out' had, it transpired, told them of my cock and 'performance', even shown the 'interested' ones photographs.
With-in 3 months of us parting her best friend(?) had offered her 'services' because her husband wasn't 'satisfying' her in the size or performance departments. She was (apparently) drunk when she first made her offer (which I took up) but she wasn't on subsequent occasions. She eventually admitted that the size of my cock was what made her do it.
In the following year I had 'been with' 6 out of the group of 8, all married and all at their 'persuasion'.
Their reasons been - because they needed/liked a big one; to find out what one felt like; to see if they could 'take it'.

I've had sex on several other occasions when its eventually transpired that the reputation about my size has been a deciding factor.
It is rather surprising/shocking how quickly such a thing spreads once its out there - so the 'rules' do apply.

 

[pcghabsy]

It's not just penis size, it's pretty much common sense not to get into details about your sex life. MG's post certainly offers a perspective of why.