Together for 6 years and he's locking the bathroom door

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My BF has done this more than once and gets aggravated when I ask why. I honestly don't get it. He doesn't do it all the time. Just once in a while he goes to take a shower and it takes much longer than usual and the door is locked. If I ask why he gets angry and deflects. I never lock the door and he knows it aggravates me when he walks in while I'm taking a dump. He does it deliberately, actually. But still, I don't lock the door.

And if it's about wanking why would I give a fuck? I wank in the open. Oh yeah, he's caught me and that bothered him too. He rolls his eyes and walks off.

WTF is going on here?
 

Sagittarius84

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Definitely that, but more specifically OP needs to realize it is wanking intentionally without your involvement or scrutiny. This situation mirrors a lot of heterosexual relationships where the woman is "okay" with her guy wanking off, but uses that okayness as an entitlement to what should be his personal space if he wants it to be that way.
I think OP need to ask himself, is the irritation simply that he wants his own arbitrary space and time away from you, or the suspicion that the away from you aspect is meant to conceal some sort of infidelity?
Maybe he's Jerking it to guys, the archetype of which have triggered your insecurities in the past, or maybe he's jerking to trans people or (gasp) women...I can think of a plethora of situations where a SOs purported okayness with a partner's self maintenance easily became a situation of judgment and ridicule because egos got bruised, or people got disgusted.
 

CockMySuck

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My BF has done this more than once and gets aggravated when I ask why. I honestly don't get it. He doesn't do it all the time. Just once in a while he goes to take a shower and it takes much longer than usual and the door is locked. If I ask why he gets angry and deflects. I never lock the door and he knows it aggravates me when he walks in while I'm taking a dump. He does it deliberately, actually. But still, I don't lock the door.

And if it's about wanking why would I give a fuck? I wank in the open. Oh yeah, he's caught me and that bothered him too. He rolls his eyes and walks off.

WTF is going on here?
Why does this bother you? Just let him have his space. Is there a reason you don’t just trust and respect his choice to lock the door? To be blunt, I think your reaction and questioning is the problem in this scenario.
 

aleloth

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Why does this bother you? Just let him have his space. Is there a reason you don’t just trust and respect his choice to lock the door? To be blunt, I think your reaction and questioning is the problem in this scenario.
Adding to this. Don't be harsh on yourself for your reaction either. It's completely normal to feel this way as long as you're self-aware.
 

MisterB

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I honestly do not understand why this is an issue. At all.

Basic common courtesy is simple; if the bathroom door is closed, it's in use.

No one should open a closed bathroom door and just walk on in. At least knock first and be invited to open the door before you do so and enter the bathroom.

Whether the door is locked or not is so what. It's closed. That means the bathroom is being used. And the person would like some privacy.

As far as your question: WTF is going on here?

Simple answer: We have no way of knowing. But he does. And that's who you should be directing your questions to.

And if he's walking in on you when you have the bathroom door closed? Then you should lock it.

Seems like a simple solution to a non-issue IMO. ;)
 
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Using the bathroom to empty your bladder or leave a deposit in the "bank" is a very personal experience, it leaves us being very vulnerable and essentially paralyzed to a degree for a few moments in time.

Have you ever observed how a dog or cat behaves when it's about to relieve itself? They observe their surroundings 360 degrees and even then are very observant of what is going on around them while they squat - because they to are very vulnerable and paralyzed to a degree. The surveillance of their surroundings is to ensure safety so that they won't be pounced upon in a moment of weakness.

Humans are also animals and do have this primitive instinct naturally, although it's not commonly noticed. Locking the door are things that humans are accustomed to out of habit, and is reinforced by the idea that locking the door ensures safety. And any human, whether they are in a relationship and / or married, or are single and not attached, should be free to have just a few moments to themselves. I don't think your bf locking the door has anything to do with you.

If a locked door bothers you, it's possibly a sign of codependency, and that is not healthy in any relationship.
 

jafar

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My BF has done this more than once and gets aggravated when I ask why. I honestly don't get it. He doesn't do it all the time. Just once in a while he goes to take a shower and it takes much longer than usual and the door is locked. If I ask why he gets angry and deflects. I never lock the door and he knows it aggravates me when he walks in while I'm taking a dump. He does it deliberately, actually. But still, I don't lock the door.

And if it's about wanking why would I give a fuck? I wank in the open. Oh yeah, he's caught me and that bothered him too. He rolls his eyes and walks off.

WTF is going on here?
Something is up. Probably he is chatting to other people online while in the washroom?
 
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My BF has done this more than once and gets aggravated when I ask why. I honestly don't get it. He doesn't do it all the time. Just once in a while he goes to take a shower and it takes much longer than usual and the door is locked. If I ask why he gets angry and deflects. I never lock the door and he knows it aggravates me when he walks in while I'm taking a dump. He does it deliberately, actually. But still, I don't lock the door.

And if it's about wanking why would I give a fuck? I wank in the open. Oh yeah, he's caught me and that bothered him too. He rolls his eyes and walks off.

WTF is going on here?

11 years with my wife. I do lock the door every time (to be honest, I do lock the door even when I am home alone, matter of use). Not related with masturbation, I just like intimacy in the bathroom. Not so important for the shower but SUPER IMPORTANT when using the toilet. I also hate when she insists on using the toilet while I am in the shower.