Told a 5' friend he was average. He'll soon find out he's well under average.

[miniskirt]

I'm female and have a very close friendship with a guy who's 26. We are quite often involved sexually, though mostly just oral. Following the first time we did anything sexual, he asked me if it was the size I expected it would be. I hesitated because I didn't want to hurt his feelings but with his insistence on a truthful answer, told him that I had expected it would be a little bigger. He looked absolutely shattered and I felt pretty terrible because of how crushed he looked.

On countless occasions since then, he has asked me how he rates in terms of size compared to other guys. To save his feelings, I have always done my best not to answer by saying something like "It's hard for me to say cos I haven't really had much contact with many penises." (He knows I've slept with more women than men) It usually ends with him saying something like "I know I'm not big, but I'm about average, right?" to which I just say yes.

Now just today we measured his penis on his suggestion as he is wanting to try penis growth pills, and he measured just short of 5' erect length and 4' girth.

I have been doing most of the research regarding penis enlargement and he's asked me to find out some stats on average penis sizes. So tomorrow he will ask me about these stats and I'll have to 'break the news' to him about how small he really is compared to the average man. I am sensitive towards his feelings so I'm a tad anxious about how he'll feel.
Any words of advice on how to deal with this, and about me having lied to him consistently in the past about him bring average to save his feelings. I don't want him feel I deceived him.

TIA.

 

[Gecko4lif]

Women like you are only setting guys up for a bigger fall. For shame. Misplaced kindness. I recommend teaching him some killer cunnilingus skills to make up for it.

 

[Endued]

He's about half an inch shorter and thinner than the mean, if the stats I've seen are accurate, but that doesn't mean he doesn't fall well within the boundaries of 'normal'. It shouldn't be anything to be concerned about.

 

[dirkjesje]

If we define average as -1std and +1std ( 68% ) then
- in the length department he is average.
- in the girth deparment below average, thin.
- in the volume (overall) under average, even small.
But he allready knew that.
It's your perception of average that he wanted to know.

 

[helgaleena]

I find it weird that you are doing all the penis enlargement research. Love him as he is. None of us is just a cunt, or just a penis. If he really wants to change his size, let him be in charge of that. If you are pressuring him, stop and get yourself an extra man with a bigger dick instead. He's probably both beautiful and delicious as is.

And he is definitely normal, and men in their twenties often keep growing too.

 

[miniskirt]

Yeah I suppose his dimensions could be smaller, but he's certainly not hung. I'm thinking of going with something along the lines of "I wasn't totally honest with you about your size because I didn't want to hurt you, but I realise maybe it would have been better if I had been a little more truthful." And then try to show that I understand his insecurity rather than just palm it off? No pun intended!
It's probably best that I don't just downplay it, as it's obviously an issue for him, and as the second poster, Gecko4lif, pointed out, I may well just be setting him up for disappointment.

 

[gaygent]

My understanding is that the average length of an erect male penis in the UK is between 4.5 and 6.5 inches (I read somewhere that in the USA it is 4.0 and 6.0 inches). On that basis your friend is of average size. It is only because this site is aimed at above average sized men and admirers that his 5 inches becomes regarded as small.

 

[miniskirt]

I find it weird that you are doing all the penis enlargement research. Love him as he is. None of us is just a cunt, or just a penis. If he really wants to change his size, let him be in charge of that. If you are pressuring him, stop and get yourself an extra man with a bigger dick instead. He's probably both beautiful and delicious as is.

And he is definitely normal, and men in their twenties often keep growing too.

I have been doing the research for him because he is from a family of 9 kids and so doesn't have private access to a computer. As he's a good friend, I'm happy to help him out by researching and ordering him things to my address.

Yes, you are right, he IS beautiful and delicious as is. That's why I enjoy our 'sexy time' so much. Running my hands over his gorgeous fit and toned body is more than enough to keep me happy. He is not so satisfied with himself, though.

 

[helgaleena]

Yeah I suppose his dimensions could be smaller, but he's certainly not hung. I'm thinking of going with something along the lines of "I wasn't totally honest with you about your size because I didn't want to hurt you, but I realise maybe it would have been better if I had been a little more truthful." And then try to show that I understand his insecurity rather than just palm it off? No pun intended!
It's probably best that I don't just downplay it, as it's obviously an issue for him, and as the second poster, Gecko4lif, pointed out, I may well just be setting him up for disappointment.

Gent is correct; you did not lie to him, and he is not below average. Adjust your speech accordingly. This site is not a good source for statistics on average penis.

PS: I think you need to flatter him by stating the obvious about him, and refuse to participate in 'improving' him. :love:

 

[Snakebyte]

Don't spend money on Penis Enlargement pills. They're scam.

 

[D_stryhtfg]

Now just today we measured his penis on his suggestion as he is wanting to try penis growth pills, and he measured just short of 5' erect length and 4' girth.

Dang...a 5-foot length and 4-foot girth? And you expected a little bigger?????

:biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1:

 

[miniskirt]

My understanding is that the average length of an erect male penis in the UK is between 4.5 and 6.5 inches (I read somewhere that in the USA it is 4.0 and 6.0 inches). On that basis your friend is of average size. It is only because this site is aimed at above average sized men and admirers that his 5 inches becomes regarded as small.

The info I've found seems to point to the average erect length being 6 inches. This could be figures from Australian studies, as that was what I was looking for.
I do find it very interesting that there is a variance between different nationalities!

 

[Vagus]

Go to the penis enlargement section. It seems that what gets a lot of men started is jelqing.

 

[miniskirt]

PS: I think you need to flatter him by stating the obvious about him, and refuse to participate in 'improving' him. :love:

I really love what you've said here. I always tell him how sexy I find him - heck! It's the truth! And yes, what you said refusing to participate in 'improving' him is a very good idea. I'm happy with his body the way it is. Thanks for the valuable advice.

Don't spend money on Penis Enlargement pills. They're scam.

Oops! Too late! Lol. Hopefully they'll have some other positive effect on him such as increased libido. Wink.

Dang...a 5-foot length and 4-foot girth? And you expected a little bigger?????

:biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1:

HAHAHA!! Whoops!!

 

[nicenycdick]

I've never had a woman love me for my penis. Of course, if I had a 12" cock, maybe that would be different. I have strong sense that his size matters much more to him that it does to you. Tell him the truth: you really like what he does, how he does it, and what he does it with. Nothing else should really concern him.

Of course, I have some doubts about the OP based simply on the fact that you have "been doing the research for him because he is from a family of 9 kids and so doesn't have private access to a computer". This scenario sounds so unlikely I wouldn't be surprised if this is yet another guy trying to get us to talk about "his" small penis. If I'm wrong, I apologize...

 

[Snakebyte]

Oops! Too late! Lol. Hopefully they'll have some other positive effect on him such as increased libido. Wink.

Pills increase the blood flow in the penis so the benefit will be harder erections (if possible). Those harder erections are advertized as size gain but the penis itself doesn't grow because of the pills.

As for the average penis size. There are different studies telling us that the average penis size is 5.5 - 6.0 inches in length. But are those studies valid? In general it is believed that guys with bigger dicks are more likely to participate in those studies than guys with small dicks. That means that the real average has to be smaller than the one stated in those studies. Another info you won't find in most of these studies: Were the measurements taken bone-pressed or non-bone-pressed. That can easily make a difference of 1" in length.
After all I'm pretty positive that the real average penis size is below 5.5" in length.

If he's not happy with his size he's got two options.
a) He has to accept his size and learn that size is not everything
b) He can try to increase his size by manual PE. But that takes years of dedicated work.

 

[dirkjesje]

Pills increase the blood flow in the penis so the benefit will be harder erections (if possible). Those harder erections are advertized as size gain but the penis itself doesn't grow because of the pills.

As for the average penis size. There are different studies telling us that the average penis size is 5.5 - 6.0 inches in length. But are those studies valid? In general it is believed that guys with bigger dicks are more likely to participate in those studies than guys with small dicks. That means that the real average has to be smaller than the one stated in those studies. Another info you won't find in most of these studies: Were the measurements taken bone-pressed or non-bone-pressed. That can easily make a difference of 1" in length.
After all I'm pretty positive that the real average penis size is below 5.5" in length.

If he's not happy with his size he's got two options.
a) He has to accept his size and learn that size is not everything
b) He can try to increase his size by manual PE. But that takes years of dedicated work.

Whatever the real average is in lenght - I wrote before, that he is average in lenght ( -1std +1std ), but overall he is small.
No one can say that 5"x4" is average. It is small in volume.
And he knows that very well, no one have to tell him that.
But he'll glad to hear from his girl - that her perception is average, or just a tiny little bit under average... a quick lie can make a happier man.

Many are so fixated on average lenght, but even with an average lenght a girth of 4" is visual small. It's the volume aspect that we see, not unique lenght or girth.

 

[Q Vee]

You seem to be doing your best to be a supportive friend.

I agree with the poster who indicated that the penis research needs to be his responsibility. As you have already done it, perhaps you could email the information to him and allow him to digest it on his own. If he questions you about the stats vs your claims simply say that this is a learning process for you also and you are not an expert. You can apologize for speaking beyond your knowledge and add that you always had his best interests at heart and only wanted to be reassuring.

That is all true and it leaves him with his dignity and your friendship its integrity.

The most important thing from my view is do you enjoy the oral sex with him. If you two are having great sex that is truly the best measure: mutual satisfaction is were it's at.

If you are not enjoying the sex and just giving him pity blow jobs, that is even worse than providing him false information (IMHO). I say that mostly because of your close relationship. If you guys were just casual FB and not confidants that would be different. Otherwise, I fear that you may be providing him with a false sense of security of his sexual prowess with you. It may be painful but he needs to know if you are truly sexually compatible with him, whether it is his size or technique (or lack thereof).

If you are not opposed to it, I like the idea of the poster who suggested teaching him good "eating out" skills. That can compensate big time -- speaking from my own experience.

Also, a caution about the penis growth route. I keep reading differing opinions and experiences. I would hate to think that he is setting himself up for a major disappointment. Perhaps you could encourage him to do some serious, in-depth research (on his own) on-line before embarking on that journey.

Finally, I can relate to your friend, as I feel that I do not possess the "BIG BLACK COCK" that the stereotype says I am supposed to have. Having and enjoying great sex with both sexes and being told that what I have is more than fine, has helped my confidence. However, sometimes I still wonder "how come I'm not super hung?" Answer: because I'm not, get over it. And I have. And your friend can too, as he has good sexperiences and just learns to focus on what he has, rather than what he does not have.

In a nutshell (pun intended): Except for the true-size-queens, most partners are not as concerned about the guy's size as the guy himself. They just want to/need to get off.

BTW, I have enjoyed some great sex with guys his size.
Best of luck to both of you.

 

[Q Vee]

OK. :redface: Seems that by the time I started, was distracted, finished, edited, and sent, a number of things I mentioned have been addressed. Still, hope I've been helpful.

 

[toadstool]

It is a shame that we compare size as it really does not matter and you are what you are meaning everyone is average for there DNA makeup and gene pool plese dont make him feel bad because not all long dicked people are good in bead either so rate it on the events of sexual performance not on size