"Too big" for my boyfriend...tips?

gdesguy

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A friend sent me this site, and I thought maybe you other endowed men could help me out with this one.

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, and for the first few months of out relationship, I was always the top. A few months into our relationship, he told me he wanted to start topping sometimes, so I figured "sure, why not? its only fair". I kind of put it off for a while because while I am okay with topping as well as bottoming, most of the time, I prefer to be the top.
I eventually caved and started letting him do it more often because he said I "stretched him out" a little down there, and it was having some adverse effects (I'm not going to go into the gruesome details...).

Now its at the point where 3/4-5/6 of the time, he's topping, and because he's not used to taking something that big down there, whenever its me as the top, (even if we use enough/more than enough lube) I can tell he is in a world of pain during sex. He LOVES my dick, as long as its not ripping him open down there, but I want to get back to when having sex (with me as the top at least) isn't some ominous sentence my boyfriend fears! Haha.

To let you know what I'm dealing with, I've got 9" long, and I'm really not sure how big around, but its pretty thick, slightly thinner than a Red Bull can.

PS: "Toys" are not really an option. Neither of us are really into that.

ANY help is greatly appreciated!
 

erosfallen

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You could always date me ;)

In my experience if you want something bad enough, you can get it. In this situation it seems like enough time and enough practice oughta take care of things, unless there isn't the will. Some people just don't like bottoming, or bottoming in certain situations, and that might not ever changed- the best you can hope for is some sort of amicable compromise.

Best of luck.
 

buffyfanone

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i say practice makes perfect.
try "breaking him in" with a dildo. i know you said you dont like toys but unless you want to use another guy's (saller) dick, you need to get dildos in sizes varying from small to big (like you) and then gradually "break him in".
 

jdenn4

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see recently i had the opposite problem, for 8 years my man has been the top except maybe 2-3 times a year, and now it has completely reversed directions. grrr. thats what we need a spare, vers man for lol
 

Azu

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gdesguy, Being Versatile is fair isn't it?

Sit down with him and have a talk about the topic, that is the only it will solve the Irritation.
 

lady belle

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(I'm not going to go into the gruesome details...).

oh man, that is the best part!!


as far as your issue, if you are big and hurting him, you need to go low and allow plenty of time for him to relax. for me a couple shots of stolis help. i find when taking a big willy, once it is in, i like to have it not move until my body adjusts.

find a g spot on his neck, and when he is feeling pain, nibble on it and he will fall to pieces.

remember slow and gentle .....
 

slurper_la

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A friend sent me this site, and I thought maybe you other endowed men could help me out with this one.

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, and for the first few months of out relationship, I was always the top. A few months into our relationship, he told me he wanted to start topping sometimes, so I figured "sure, why not? its only fair". I kind of put it off for a while because while I am okay with topping as well as bottoming, most of the time, I prefer to be the top.
I eventually caved and started letting him do it more often because he said I "stretched him out" a little down there, and it was having some adverse effects (I'm not going to go into the gruesome details...).

Now its at the point where 3/4-5/6 of the time, he's topping, and because he's not used to taking something that big down there, whenever its me as the top, (even if we use enough/more than enough lube) I can tell he is in a world of pain during sex. He LOVES my dick, as long as its not ripping him open down there, but I want to get back to when having sex (with me as the top at least) isn't some ominous sentence my boyfriend fears! Haha.

To let you know what I'm dealing with, I've got 9" long, and I'm really not sure how big around, but its pretty thick, slightly thinner than a Red Bull can.

PS: "Toys" are not really an option. Neither of us are really into that.

ANY help is greatly appreciated!

see recently i had the opposite problem, for 8 years my man has been the top except maybe 2-3 times a year, and now it has completely reversed directions. grrr. thats what we need a spare, vers man for lol


:wave: :tongue: um, yoo hoo... I'm here to serve. How may I help you? :tongue: :wave:
 

gdesguy

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Thanks for all the advice guys!
We've talked about the whole "compromise" thing before, and I don't mind bottoming, I actually enjoy it occasionally. I'm not an unreasonable man, he sucked it up for me and took a big dick in his ass ALL of the time for the first few months without a single complaint, so I figure there is no problem giving him a break down there and picking up the slack. I'd rather bottom than have to cut sex out of our relationship. We came to an agreement of me getting to top at least once/week or once every two weeks (depending on how "active" we are on that given week). The only problem with this is, it doesn't give him time to "adjust" down there, and he will be in a great deal of pain for a while, and by the time he adjusts and I can go at regular speed, we really only get 3-5 minutes of good sex in before I'm ready to cum.

I know I may as well be asking for the fucking Holy Grail here, but if anybody has any tips on how to cut down on the pain for him (besides going in slow and being gentle, we already do that), I would be REALLLY grateful!!!

Once again, thanks for all of your responses, they were very helpful
 

DiscoBoy

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Thanks for all the advice guys!
We've talked about the whole "compromise" thing before, and I don't mind bottoming, I actually enjoy it occasionally. I'm not an unreasonable man, he sucked it up for me and took a big dick in his ass ALL of the time for the first few months without a single complaint, so I figure there is no problem giving him a break down there and picking up the slack. I'd rather bottom than have to cut sex out of our relationship. We came to an agreement of me getting to top at least once/week or once every two weeks (depending on how "active" we are on that given week). The only problem with this is, it doesn't give him time to "adjust" down there, and he will be in a great deal of pain for a while, and by the time he adjusts and I can go at regular speed, we really only get 3-5 minutes of good sex in before I'm ready to cum.

I know I may as well be asking for the fucking Holy Grail here, but if anybody has any tips on how to cut down on the pain for him (besides going in slow and being gentle, we already do that), I would be REALLLY grateful!!!

Once again, thanks for all of your responses, they were very helpful

I should be the last person giving you advice, but you could try poppers. It helps to relax the sphincter. Just a suggestion, but good luck to you!
 

SEXXXX

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Thanks for all the advice guys!
We've talked about the whole "compromise" thing before, and I don't mind bottoming, I actually enjoy it occasionally. I'm not an unreasonable man, he sucked it up for me and took a big dick in his ass ALL of the time for the first few months without a single complaint, so I figure there is no problem giving him a break down there and picking up the slack. I'd rather bottom than have to cut sex out of our relationship. We came to an agreement of me getting to top at least once/week or once every two weeks (depending on how "active" we are on that given week). The only problem with this is, it doesn't give him time to "adjust" down there, and he will be in a great deal of pain for a while, and by the time he adjusts and I can go at regular speed, we really only get 3-5 minutes of good sex in before I'm ready to cum.

I know I may as well be asking for the fucking Holy Grail here, but if anybody has any tips on how to cut down on the pain for him (besides going in slow and being gentle, we already do that), I would be REALLLY grateful!!!

Once again, thanks for all of your responses, they were very helpful

YOU can adjust so you can last longer, hey, that;s compromise
 

karldergrosse

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If you're simply too big for his comfort, then probably there's ultimately not much you can do about it. Just telling him to bear the pain and plowing on is nonsense...especially if you're causing abrasions or tears (i.e., rips) and bleeding. That is an absolute no-no--can be extremely serious. I have only one suggestion, other than some of those above, that I've found to be helpful. Begin with him on his back, legs up, and jack him for a while before insertion, keeping it up during slow, gentle intromission, and as long thereafter as necessary (without making him cum, of course). That will divert his attention from pain to pleasure...hopefully. Too, though troublesome, it might help for him to sit for a while in a bathtub with a few inches of very warm water to relax and loosen muscles and tissue. At any rate, I hope you can come to a satisfying solution (okay, bad pun--but I seriously wish you success.)
 
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gdesguy

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Hey, thanks for all of your suggestions, believe it or not, some of them were actually very useful, and I ended up fucking him once Thursday night and then again Friday morning with no problems except a little bit of pain Thursday night. Both were sessions were a decent amount of time (30-45 minutes or so) without him complaining about pain.

He even made a comment about how it "didn't hurt so bad"!
 

occams_razor16

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I've had the same problem in the past. I'm not as well endowed as you, but I am fairly thick. I would just suggest practice. It may not seem like the best advise, but you need to share how you feel and hopefully with patience you two can work it out.