"Too big" for my boyfriend...tips?

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by gdesguy, May 27, 2009.

  1. gdesguy

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2009
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York (NY, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    A friend sent me this site, and I thought maybe you other endowed men could help me out with this one.

    I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, and for the first few months of out relationship, I was always the top. A few months into our relationship, he told me he wanted to start topping sometimes, so I figured "sure, why not? its only fair". I kind of put it off for a while because while I am okay with topping as well as bottoming, most of the time, I prefer to be the top.
    I eventually caved and started letting him do it more often because he said I "stretched him out" a little down there, and it was having some adverse effects (I'm not going to go into the gruesome details...).

    Now its at the point where 3/4-5/6 of the time, he's topping, and because he's not used to taking something that big down there, whenever its me as the top, (even if we use enough/more than enough lube) I can tell he is in a world of pain during sex. He LOVES my dick, as long as its not ripping him open down there, but I want to get back to when having sex (with me as the top at least) isn't some ominous sentence my boyfriend fears! Haha.

    To let you know what I'm dealing with, I've got 9" long, and I'm really not sure how big around, but its pretty thick, slightly thinner than a Red Bull can.

    PS: "Toys" are not really an option. Neither of us are really into that.

    ANY help is greatly appreciated!
     
  2. erosfallen

    erosfallen New Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2007
    Messages:
    8
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    You could always date me ;)

    In my experience if you want something bad enough, you can get it. In this situation it seems like enough time and enough practice oughta take care of things, unless there isn't the will. Some people just don't like bottoming, or bottoming in certain situations, and that might not ever changed- the best you can hope for is some sort of amicable compromise.

    Best of luck.
     
  3. buffyfanone

    buffyfanone New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2009
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Michigan
    i say practice makes perfect.
    try "breaking him in" with a dildo. i know you said you dont like toys but unless you want to use another guy's (saller) dick, you need to get dildos in sizes varying from small to big (like you) and then gradually "break him in".
     
  4. jdenn4

    jdenn4 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2009
    Messages:
    22
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    denver Colorado
    see recently i had the opposite problem, for 8 years my man has been the top except maybe 2-3 times a year, and now it has completely reversed directions. grrr. thats what we need a spare, vers man for lol
     
  5. SEXXXX

    SEXXXX New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    312
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC
    Tell him to submit to the pain........
     
  6. Azu

    Azu New Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2009
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    gdesguy, Being Versatile is fair isn't it?

    Sit down with him and have a talk about the topic, that is the only it will solve the Irritation.
     
  7. lady belle

    lady belle Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Messages:
    314
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    tennessee
    oh man, that is the best part!!


    as far as your issue, if you are big and hurting him, you need to go low and allow plenty of time for him to relax. for me a couple shots of stolis help. i find when taking a big willy, once it is in, i like to have it not move until my body adjusts.

    find a g spot on his neck, and when he is feeling pain, nibble on it and he will fall to pieces.

    remember slow and gentle .....
     
  8. slurper_la

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2008
    Messages:
    5,358
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    716
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles (CA, US)

    :wave: :tongue: um, yoo hoo... I'm here to serve. How may I help you? :tongue: :wave:
     
  9. gdesguy

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2009
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York (NY, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Thanks for all the advice guys!
    We've talked about the whole "compromise" thing before, and I don't mind bottoming, I actually enjoy it occasionally. I'm not an unreasonable man, he sucked it up for me and took a big dick in his ass ALL of the time for the first few months without a single complaint, so I figure there is no problem giving him a break down there and picking up the slack. I'd rather bottom than have to cut sex out of our relationship. We came to an agreement of me getting to top at least once/week or once every two weeks (depending on how "active" we are on that given week). The only problem with this is, it doesn't give him time to "adjust" down there, and he will be in a great deal of pain for a while, and by the time he adjusts and I can go at regular speed, we really only get 3-5 minutes of good sex in before I'm ready to cum.

    I know I may as well be asking for the fucking Holy Grail here, but if anybody has any tips on how to cut down on the pain for him (besides going in slow and being gentle, we already do that), I would be REALLLY grateful!!!

    Once again, thanks for all of your responses, they were very helpful
     
  10. DiscoBoy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2009
    Messages:
    2,706
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    I should be the last person giving you advice, but you could try poppers. It helps to relax the sphincter. Just a suggestion, but good luck to you!
     
  11. MalakingTiti

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2007
    Messages:
    1,715
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NY NY
    In the words of my friend who is a Marine Corp Major told me he told some Iraqi soldiers when they came to him regarding some other soldiers fucking a young boy, and asking what they should do... "He'll get used to it."
     
  12. SEXXXX

    SEXXXX New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2009
    Messages:
    312
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC
    YOU can adjust so you can last longer, hey, that;s compromise
     
  13. Man4menu

    Man4menu Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2007
    Messages:
    146
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    A good spanking can help
     
  14. karldergrosse

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2009
    Messages:
    1,898
    Likes Received:
    42
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Near the Great Smoky Mountains
    If you're simply too big for his comfort, then probably there's ultimately not much you can do about it. Just telling him to bear the pain and plowing on is nonsense...especially if you're causing abrasions or tears (i.e., rips) and bleeding. That is an absolute no-no--can be extremely serious. I have only one suggestion, other than some of those above, that I've found to be helpful. Begin with him on his back, legs up, and jack him for a while before insertion, keeping it up during slow, gentle intromission, and as long thereafter as necessary (without making him cum, of course). That will divert his attention from pain to pleasure...hopefully. Too, though troublesome, it might help for him to sit for a while in a bathtub with a few inches of very warm water to relax and loosen muscles and tissue. At any rate, I hope you can come to a satisfying solution (okay, bad pun--but I seriously wish you success.)
     
    #14 karldergrosse, May 28, 2009
    Last edited: May 28, 2009
  15. gdesguy

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2009
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York (NY, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Hey, thanks for all of your suggestions, believe it or not, some of them were actually very useful, and I ended up fucking him once Thursday night and then again Friday morning with no problems except a little bit of pain Thursday night. Both were sessions were a decent amount of time (30-45 minutes or so) without him complaining about pain.

    He even made a comment about how it "didn't hurt so bad"!
     
  16. occams_razor16

    occams_razor16 New Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2009
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I've had the same problem in the past. I'm not as well endowed as you, but I am fairly thick. I would just suggest practice. It may not seem like the best advise, but you need to share how you feel and hopefully with patience you two can work it out.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted