Too Late to have Kids?

D_Pokin Joe Frazier

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We are men we can have kids any time I am 46 and have no kids my girl is 30 and I plan on having my first kid at 50 I am not worried about being an old dad I am in better shape than most 30 year olds as you can see from my pics and money is not an a worry at this point I own my own business and home.
 

dolfette

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Nope, the OP is a freak for genetic purity. He needs to freeze his sperm and leave it to a sperm bank with caveats attached as to what donors are worthy.

He also does not actually like children per se. Evidently he had no genuine feelings for the readymade family he could have had with the female he mentions. He only wants a clone of himself. He's probably blond with green eyes himself, thus his rigid requirements for breeding stock.
if, if, IF that's true then it's perhaps a blessing that no child came into that situation. a child deserves more than to be sombody's projected expectation.
 

D_Pokin Joe Frazier

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There is a biological clock for men. Sperm quality / "motility" decreases with age. Although this usually means that it just takes longer for older men to conceive a child, it has increased risk of birth defects when/if conception is achieved.

Having said that I recently discovered that Cary Grant had his first (only?) child at 60 and that he was born in England.

Men can have kids all the way up to thier 80's if not older and the risk for birth defects increase very little.
 
D

deleted3782

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I'd say 40 is pretty much the cut off point, poor kid having an old dude for a father growing up.

My dad was 44 when I was born and I am not a poor kid. My oldest brother was 47 when his daughter was born, and my other brother was 45 when his son was born. Both kids are well adjusted, well-traveled, and get straight A's. In fact, I think older dads make better parents than young ones. They can be more patient, more settled, and have a clearer sense of priorities.
 

dolfette

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My dad was 44 when I was born and I am not a poor kid. My oldest brother was 47 when his daughter was born, and my other brother was 45 when his son was born. Both kids are well adjusted, well-traveled, and get straight A's. In fact, I think older dads make better parents than young ones. They can be more patient, more settled, and have a clearer sense of priorities.
there are pros and cons, and it depends on the individual man involved.
 

TurkeyWithaSunburn

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Obviously you didn't find the right woman. Good luck in finding a partner (or breeding factory to produce your offspring), there is always egg donor and surrogacy.

Tony Randall Says It's Never Too Late to be a Father, from Dadmag.com
Hugh Hefner, 74
Yassir Arafat, 71
Warren Beatty, 63
Saul Bellow, 84 (Nobel Prize Winner- Literature)
Tony Randall, 79,
 

D_Pokin Joe Frazier

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D_Jacqueline_Boozann

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Excuse me, what year are you living in! Oh, yeah, you're definitely entitled to your opinions. Nevertheless, those were the outlandish ideas in the 1950s, when women were the tail end of their husband's butts: just hanging on and doing society's bidding.

Any woman who doesn't want kids...I applaud them. Rather she not have them, than harm them. Open up your dog-crusted eyes, take a wash cloth, and see the Purina dog chow in your bowl. Are you a fool: look at this generation of women who (1) abort their kids -- forced to have them: family, church, or societal pressures, (2) hate children: abused by parents/guardians, themselves, or (3) murder them? Have we forgotten the famous cases, e.g., Susan Smith killed hers because the so-called boyfriend didn't want any.

There are many men who don't wany kids, either. What do you say about them? Why is it always womens' role to bear children; men have just as much responsibility in wanting/denying children, too.

Too bad you're locked in the 1950s mentality. I don't know where you live, what type of environment you come from, or your religious beliefs: Catholics and Evangelicals are great at condemning people/couples for not having children.

I've been around many, many years, and the men in the 1970s told me, "if you have kids, I'm leaving!" So, I never married, and I never had kids -- never regretted. However, I taught high-school students until retirement, though.

Nonetheless, I've asked my female students over the years, "do you want kids?" At least 95% have told me, "no way!" Why do you think that's so? Well, let me ease the pressure off your brain. The reason is because some men (mostly in their young ages) are not responsible, not settled, and they want to explore life. With this economy being the way it is....and people don't know what's happening in 2012, it would behove people not to have any.

Finally, this generation -- unlike other generations (unless women live in the Armish, Catholic, Evangelical -- conservative states/cities) are not bearing fruit anymore. They're eating their fruit and enjoying it.

Denise Michelle Phillips, Enchantment, Albuquerque, NM
 

ColonialBoy

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Obviously you didn't find the right woman. Good luck in finding a partner (or breeding factory to produce your offspring), there is always egg donor and surrogacy.

Tony Randall Says It's Never Too Late to be a Father, from Dadmag.com
Hugh Hefner, 74
Yassir Arafat, 71
Warren Beatty, 63
Saul Bellow, 84 (Nobel Prize Winner- Literature)
Tony Randall, 79,
Charlie Chaplin - 73 Charlie Chaplin - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Rupert Murdoch - 72

Way to go fellas, stay potent forever!
 

littledickboy111

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Um... maybe I'm alone in this, but I think you should look for a 20-something gal. If you're financially secure, finding one won't be that hard. Post an ad on something like match.com saying you want to get married and have kids. You'll have slightly thick girls breaking your doors down.
 

MickeyLee

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Um... maybe I'm alone in this, but I think you should look for a 20-something gal. If you're financially secure, finding one won't be that hard. Post an ad on something like match.com saying you want to get married and have kids. You'll have slightly thick girls breaking your doors down.

does it suck to not have any friends?
 

Tattooed Goddess

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Don't waste your time with a woman who refuses to have children. That's just not right. That's contrary to nature, and contrary to much of the purpose of marriage anyway, that of building the stable family nest, to receive children.

That same sort of selfishness, is likely the same sort that dooms marriages these days.

I think that's a reason people are looking to other countries to find wives. The rampant contraceptive pushing has really messed up families in Western developed countries.

I wouldn't marry a woman who doesn't want children. How long until she doesn't even want me? The modern generation has turned so incredibly selfish.

How does one not wanting children have anything to do with a woman not wanting the companionship of a man? I don't see how these two are related. But I've read so many of your posts that you are a one-note when it comes to everything in your life is all about having children, so of course you would dump a woman who wasn't willing to be a baby factory to help your ego as a man.

So what happens one day when your wife is no longer able to bear children for you? Will you still value her? If so, this means you found value in her beyond her ability to have a "quiverful" of babies for you. If you are able to find that value beyond her reproductive abilities then how can you not understand a woman could find value in a man outside of having children?

Your understanding of human relationships is so minimal outside of your extreme fetish to have as many children as possible. You forget there is a LOT more to a person that is established well before becoming a parent and well after the children leave the home. I worry with men like you that a woman is pretty much a walking uterus and once she ceases to function in this manner, she will be useless to you. And this says more about you and your need to have someone knocked-up every chance you get to feel better about being a man who owns sperm.

I think your outlook on the world is incredibly outdated, old world and values women for little more than being an incubator for a fetus. It also screams of anti-gay rhetoric because you see no value in sex beyond its ability to procreate. It rules out the idea that gay men and women are allowed and fully able to enjoy sex without the procreation being an issue for them.

I don't know how you've managed to stay here with the little value you place on women and the jabs left and right and gay people going against Nature and what God intended for the use of their testes and ovaries. I consider it a form of hate speech towards everyone who doesn't agree with your philosophy and I hope someone reports you for it because it reeks of intolerance.
 

Tattooed Goddess

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Um... maybe I'm alone in this, but I think you should look for a 20-something gal. If you're financially secure, finding one won't be that hard. Post an ad on something like match.com saying you want to get married and have kids. You'll have slightly thick girls breaking your doors down.

What is this supposed to mean?
Is there some correlation between a woman's BMI and her desire to have children?
As a "slightly thick girl" I find this incredibly offensive. Not only does it insult those who are heavier, it is rude to assume that women like me are desperate to find a guy to pop out a bunch of babies with.
Let's not forget the assumption if you are financially secure, the fat girls will come out of the woodworks to ovulate for you.
 

Hippie Hollow Girl

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You are in the Dallas Fort Worth area and you can't find a beautiful woman to date? What about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders? I think the problem you are having is you are dating ladies your age. You are probably going to have to check into dating younger ladies (ladies in their twenties and thirties.) For a woman having her first baby after the age of 40 there are more risks for the pregnancy, baby and the mother. It also gets harder for some women to get pregnant as they age. And it is a lot harder on a woman's body than when they are younger.
 

Tattooed Goddess

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it has always been my goal and desire to have children with an appropriately pratrician, blonde haired, blue/green eyed, tall, thin, athletic, outgoing woman. I thought I had found the right woman when i was 34. While she had two little girls from her marriage, she assured me she would have at least one more child when we got married.

Wedding was set and then she tells me she will not have another child. Marriage off. I was lied to for 2 years by this woman. She told me that i didn't need to have a child, that she could change my mind about that.

NOPE. I wanted children and she knew that from day one.

My point is this: it seems that a man who has been responsible throughout his 20s and 30s and used condoms and avoided pregnancies and STDs and child support payments ends up ready to have a child at 40 and somehow i am deemed too old? are you fucking kidding me?!

my options are 40 something year old GRANDMOTHERS or women of the same age who haven't had children or who have had children and won't have any more?

Growing up in new york, a man all squared away in his 40s and ready to settle down and have kids would easily find a 30something woman to do this with. In texas i may as well be a freak of nature. i don't care for texas. i want to go home.

My father was 38 when I was born. I was the last of the children he would have and the only child he would have with his 2nd and final wife. My mom was 24 when he married her and she was 26 when she had me. He thought he was too old but my mom being 13 years younger than him was not ready to stop having children. She really wanted a daughter and talked my Dad into it. They were elated to have conceived a child and have the daughter they always wanted with a houseful of boys before I came along.

I am sorry you are having to deal with someone who has changed her mind about having children. You are a good man and I've seen this for years here on the forum. You seem very respectful towards women and I knew you were very excited about your engagement. My heart breaks that what you signed up for is now being torn up in front of your very eyes.

Children are not the end-all to our existence but there is certainly nothing wrong with wanting to be a daddy. 35+ tends to bring on an onslaught of women who may not be willing to take that chance with the problems she might have trying to get pregnant, staying pregnant and having a child minus genetic issues. They are valid concerns, which is why finding someone who is still in the prime of their childbearing years who has not had a child or still has young children and is willing to have more (like my Mother).

I am proud to say that my parents are still married 33 years later and my Dad thanks my mom every year on my birthday that she talked him into having another child. They simply are still tickled over the idea that they pressed through the fears my dad had about being too old. This is not to say you should try to talk a woman into having a child for you as a woman who is not maternal is not someone you want to have children with...but keep pressing on and continue to hold hope that someone is out there with your same ideals in mind. They do exist my friend.

Don't give up!
 

D_Pokin Joe Frazier

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Um... maybe I'm alone in this, but I think you should look for a 20-something gal. If you're financially secure, finding one won't be that hard. Post an ad on something like match.com saying you want to get married and have kids. You'll have slightly thick girls breaking your doors down.

I agree with you somewhat in that as men our value is society goes up as we age and womens value goes down. I mean as men the the older we are the more confident we are stable plus we are making money and have homes. Where as women's value in modern America is based on thier looks and ability to have kids. Plus men are just big kids and women are more mature at a younger age. SO it makes sence for the man to be at least 10 year older than his mate.